Any advise on how to try to find out early? What you would have done different? Like age to start asking questions and things like that?
Unfortunately I know more about it than I wish I did. The stats of 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys is real.
There is no way to completely protect a child from this. Perps come from all walks of life. Sometimes they are just noticeable creeps and loners. They are also high profile and often really likable people with power.
Victims can be loner kids or really popular outgoing kids. They can even groom the best of parents to get to a child. The main thing is to be observant and ask questions.
I know of a doctor, a teacher who after the abuse of a high school girl AND it became public became the principal. Another was a manager at a large grain elevator. Know a very friendly likable school bus driver.
My advice:
1. If someone is overly likable or the opposite can't relate to adults but can with kids be aware.
2. If your kid tells you or drops hints, act on it and believe it. Don't cower to authority figure dismissals.
3. Children can be trained for safety, but these people are so good it really doesn't matter really. They can fool the best of parents.
4.. Be very wary of coaches/teachers/mentors/friends who try and keep parents at a distance.
5. Be very wary of people who have access to your and use gas lighting techniques on your and or your child.
6, Learn the signs of PTSD in a child.
Unfortunately most are violated by someone close to them prior to someone more distant. Kids who have been abused are much more vulnerable to repeat abuse.
If abuse has occurred.
1. Not all therapists are equal. Very few are actually good at helping this kind of thing.
2. Don't believe the old way of not talking about it.
3. Be on guard for repeat abuse.
4. Don't cower to authorities who resist. Document Document Document.
5. Expect emotional issues throughout life. Not all the time, but triggers do happen. Milestones in life cause issues..
6. Expect people to get really angry if you accuse someone. There is a high probability they are very well liked. Family and organizations are protected. Think PSU reactions on a smaller but severe scale. Be prepared to lose relationships and fight like hell. Be prepared for a fight like hell.