Here's my perspective on smoking meat...
Like your wife, not everyone likes to cook. And that's 100% ok
I love to cook. In all forms.
So when it comes to smoking, I'm one of those people who enjoys the process as much as the end product. I am more than happy to spend an entire day smoking a pork shoulder. I like the smell, I like the variability of the process (different woods, different rubs, wrapping/not wrapping, just the open-endedness of it all). I like the setup of the process as well. To me it's fun to get up at 5AM to prep a pork shoulder, get it rubbed, start the charcoal/wood, and get the whole thing rolling. I put some tunes on the speakers on my deck, and kick back. It's awesome.
I also like feeding people good food. When folks come over and tell me I made some good shit and ask to come back, that makes me happy. I enjoy that kind of thing. I have other buddies who grill/smoke as well, and we have a sort of camaraderie (as dumb as that sounds) about it. I go to there places, they come to mine, it's just a cool family type thing.
Third, my kid really enjoys it as well and I love to teach him things. He's gotten to where he can pretty much smoke off a pork shoulder or racks of ribs without any help, and that's cool to me. Like
@okeefe4prez said earlier about his kid making badass Japanese corn, it's gratifying when those little monsters who you used to have to change diapers on start creating things themselves, and BBQ is one of those things for us. If I were a computer programmer and my kid starting writing working code, I imagine it'd be the same type of thing.
So yeah, there are definitely folks who aren't into the intangible side of cooking and that's ok. Some people view meals as just something that should hopefully get done as efficiently as possible with a minimal amount of fussing, and my mom was that way...she still made awesome food. But smoking is definitely not for people who don't enjoy fussing with things.
I do think you should give it a go sometime with a no pressure, day-long smoke with no supper deadline when you have a chance, though. Get a pork shoulder, rub it, and throw it on that barrel till it hits 165 with some hickory or apple wood on to of your briquettes. Wrap it at 165, put it back on, and go till 205 internal. Let it rest an hour or so, and shred it. Most amazing pulled pork ever and you made it yourself. Now you have meat for sandwiches, tacos, chili, whatever you want. If you ever want some help I'll PM you my cell number and we can text our way through it.