Rev. Deuce Hogan

[okeefe4prez]

Mrs Fry Iowa..."Hi, pastor, thanks for taking the time to meet with me. FryIowa passed away suddenly, and I am wondering if you would do the funeral for him? His heart was in the right place and he was a good man."

Pastor..."Nah, not interested, not going to make up a bunch of fake crap about him in a sermon he didn't believe in."

Nah, Fry lives in bumblefuck, Iowa. If you flip them a few bucks, they'll do a funeral for you. Business ain't great.

I think the craziest death racket I've heard of is in Japan. When my wife's grandmother died a week before she turned 100 a couple years ago, the family got her interred at my father in law's family shrine. The family shrine is like half a city block in freaking Tokyo with a massive house of worship on it. Just for this one family.

What do you think the privilege of having your ashes placed in a vault there with a 2 inch by 3 inch plaque with your name on it costs? Take a guess.

Twenty fucking thousand bucks. My father in law is still bitching about it. Some monk came out and got the ashes, was there for like 5 minutes. Then, we had some ceremony that was in some ancient buddhist chant language last summer that is tradition to mark some period after death. It was like 30 minutes long and no one there understood a word of it other than the names of the family members (I thought I just couldn't understand it because it was Japanese, but no, it was gibberish). 6 grand for that. The real kicker is it doesn't even have some guilt trip about being locked in purgatory or anything with it. It's just a memorial or something. My father in law said he'd rather give my son the $26k to spend on booze and women when he is old enough to appreciate both.

 

[revkev73]

Nah, Fry lives in bumblefuck, Iowa. If you flip them a few bucks, they'll do a funeral for you. Business ain't great.

I think the craziest death racket I've heard of is in Japan. When my wife's grandmother died a week before she turned 100 a couple years ago, the family got her interred at my father in law's family shrine. The family shrine is like half a city block in freaking Tokyo with a massive house of worship on it. Just for this one family.

What do you think the privilege of having your ashes placed in a vault there with a 2 inch by 3 inch plaque with your name on it costs? Take a guess.

Twenty fucking thousand bucks. My father in law is still bitching about it. Some monk came out and got the ashes, was there for like 5 minutes. Then, we had some ceremony that was in some ancient buddhist chant language last summer that is tradition to mark some period after death. It was like 30 minutes long and no one there understood a word of it other than the names of the family members (I thought I just couldn't understand it because it was Japanese, but no, it was gibberish). 6 grand for that. The real kicker is it doesn't even have some guilt trip about being locked in purgatory or anything with it. It's just a memorial or something. My father in law said he'd rather give my son the $26k to spend on booze and women when he is old enough to appreciate both.

"How much do you charge for wedding pastor?"

"It is a sliding scale, I usually bill you an amount worth about 1/2 of what you spend on booze and the reception. What is that figure? Please write that on the marriage application form, line four."

"Oh, well, maybe we will just go to the justice of the peace."

"Better yet. Hope it works out for you. Bye"

 

[revkev73]

Nah, Fry lives in bumblefuck, Iowa. If you flip them a few bucks, they'll do a funeral for you. Business ain't great.

I think the craziest death racket I've heard of is in Japan. When my wife's grandmother died a week before she turned 100 a couple years ago, the family got her interred at my father in law's family shrine. The family shrine is like half a city block in freaking Tokyo with a massive house of worship on it. Just for this one family.

What do you think the privilege of having your ashes placed in a vault there with a 2 inch by 3 inch plaque with your name on it costs? Take a guess.

Twenty fucking thousand bucks. My father in law is still bitching about it. Some monk came out and got the ashes, was there for like 5 minutes. Then, we had some ceremony that was in some ancient buddhist chant language last summer that is tradition to mark some period after death. It was like 30 minutes long and no one there understood a word of it other than the names of the family members (I thought I just couldn't understand it because it was Japanese, but no, it was gibberish). 6 grand for that. The real kicker is it doesn't even have some guilt trip about being locked in purgatory or anything with it. It's just a memorial or something. My father in law said he'd rather give my son the $26k to spend on booze and women when he is old enough to appreciate both.

And, I mean, DAMN, I thought my Toyota Tundra was expensive.

 

[Fryowa]

Mrs Fry Iowa..."Hi, pastor, thanks for taking the time to meet with me. FryIowa passed away suddenly, and I am wondering if you would do the funeral for him? His heart was in the right place and he was a good man."

Nah, Fry lives in bumblefuck, Iowa. If you flip them a few bucks, they'll do a funeral for you. Business ain't great.

I think the craziest death racket I've heard of is in Japan. When my wife's grandmother died a week before she turned 100 a couple years ago, the family got her interred at my father in law's family shrine. The family shrine is like half a city block in freaking Tokyo with a massive house of worship on it. Just for this one family.

What do you think the privilege of having your ashes placed in a vault there with a 2 inch by 3 inch plaque with your name on it costs? Take a guess.

Twenty fucking thousand bucks. My father in law is still bitching about it. Some monk came out and got the ashes, was there for like 5 minutes. Then, we had some ceremony that was in some ancient buddhist chant language last summer that is tradition to mark some period after death. It was like 30 minutes long and no one there understood a word of it other than the names of the family members (I thought I just couldn't understand it because it was Japanese, but no, it was gibberish). 6 grand for that. The real kicker is it doesn't even have some guilt trip about being locked in purgatory or anything with it. It's just a memorial or something. My father in law said he'd rather give my son the $26k to spend on booze and women when he is old enough to appreciate both.

It’s already taken care of and spelled out. The person who filed everything is a high school mock trial teammate of mine and friend who’s way smarter than me.

Direct cremation when it happens, no debt, house gets auctioned off and my kid gets the proceeds + 401 + Roth + life insurance.

$5K in cash at the bank box, my best friend has direct orders that it all gets spent on a party at his place and hopefully I get roasted instead of cried over. Yes I’m serious, and no, it’s not morbid. I put a will together when my kid was born to avoid a cluster F (no immediate family at all) and being the guy I am, I threw the “celebration clause” in there.

Sorry to disappoint folks, but I have a clear conscience and I ain’t scared, no matter what the soul savers think. I’ll be fine as frog hair

 

[revkev73]

It’s already taken care of and spelled out. The person who filed everything is a high school mock trial teammate of mine and friend who’s way smarter than me.

Direct cremation when it happens, no debt, house gets auctioned off and my kid gets the proceeds + 401 + Roth + life insurance.

$5K in cash at the bank box, my best friend has direct orders that it all gets spent on a party at his place and hopefully I get roasted instead of cried over. Yes I’m serious, and no, it’s not morbid. I put a will together when my kid was born to avoid a cluster F (no immediate family at all) and being the guy I am, I threw the “celebration clause” in there.

Sorry to disappoint folks, but I have a clear conscience and I ain’t scared, no matter what the soul savers think. I’ll be fine as frog hair

FYI, "The System" will suck most of that money out of you, keeping you alive until it is gone.

 

[okeefe4prez]

It’s already taken care of and spelled out. The person who filed everything is a high school mock trial teammate of mine and friend who’s way smarter than me.

Direct cremation when it happens, no debt, house gets auctioned off and my kid gets the proceeds + 401 + Roth + life insurance.

$5K in cash at the bank box, my best friend has direct orders that it all gets spent on a party at his place and hopefully I get roasted instead of cried over. Yes I’m serious, and no, it’s not morbid. I put a will together when my kid was born to avoid a cluster F (no immediate family at all) and being the guy I am, I threw the “celebration clause” in there.

Sorry to disappoint folks, but I have a clear conscience and I ain’t scared, no matter what the soul savers think. I’ll be fine as frog hair

How old's your kid? You don't have a wife? What if your friend pre-deceases you or you are both decapitated trying to recreate the stunt from the opening of Hardcastle & McCormick?

 

[HawkGold]

Oh I know. There are many things that various religions and I don't see eye to eye on.
Interpretation of is probably something mankind is horrible at and yet something they so want to do. People love to jump to conclusions and read their agenda into everything. But that is not what the Bible says. Actually it says the opposite.
So the problem is two fold, misinterpretation and the fact that everyone wants to interject their personal agenda. Because you don't have preachers living in 10 million dollar houses without personal agenda. You don't have people killing each other without misinterpretation.

Ok, how how do you reconcile a raped woman be put to death with the rapist if she doesnt scream. But lives if she does. God was the same always. So discuss the God of compassion.... Ill hang up and listen. While you interject.

 

[4thngoal]

How old's your kid? You don't have a wife? What if your friend pre-deceases you or you are both decapitated trying to recreate the stunt from the opening of Hardcastle & McCormick?

Lol.

 

[hawkeyebob62]

Sure, Iowa's offense appears outdated due to the lack of running threat at QB. But I think this also represents the opportunity to take advantage of a real market inefficiency. If most of the major programs run offenses that feature a running QB, there is more and more competition of the Pat Mahomes, Russel Wilsons, Baker Mayfields, and Kyler Murrays of the world.

But the amount of competition for pro-style guys has gone way down. Iowa will potentially be able to get an upper-echelon pro-style QB that they would not have had a shot at 10 years ago. And you don't need a running-threat to run a suped-up offense (see LSU), you just need an accurate, quick-thinker and some talent around him.

Excellent post. Thank you. A very nice perspective.

 

[mopkins]

One thing I noticed from Deuce's highlights is that he takes snaps almost exclusively from the shotgun. I watched both his junior and senior highlights and I think I saw him take one snap under center...maybe 2. That will obviously have to change at Iowa. Not sure if he's early enrolling at Iowa but I fully expect him to redshirt.

He has a very quick release though, pretty impressive. Also seems nimble and accurate on his feet unlike Mr Stanley. His measurables seem to lineup with Stanzi but seems a little more mobile.

I don't really care either way about his religion I guess. If you're successful its all gravy, if you're not its a major annoyance.

 

[mopkins]

Sure, Iowa's offense appears outdated due to the lack of running threat at QB. But I think this also represents the opportunity to take advantage of a real market inefficiency. If most of the major programs run offenses that feature a running QB, there is more and more competition of the Pat Mahomes, Russel Wilsons, Baker Mayfields, and Kyler Murrays of the world.

But the amount of competition for pro-style guys has gone way down. Iowa will potentially be able to get an upper-echelon pro-style QB that they would not have had a shot at 10 years ago. And you don't need a running-threat to run a suped-up offense (see LSU), you just need an accurate, quick-thinker and some talent around him.

I actually think the high school "pro style" vs "dual threat" thing is a bit overblown....except for the obvious ones. For example Joe Burrow was listed as a dual threat QB on his recruiting page, and yet on his college page they now list him as a Pro Style. Meanwhile Tua is listed as a dual threat QB but has never rushed for more than 200 yards in a season.

Not to mention the Clemson's, Alabama's, Georgia's and LSU's of the world are clearly doing well with pro style QB's. Although those schools sorta have the luxury of taking the best talent and molding their offense around them though.

 

[Jonrn]

That is a good comeback retweet but I find it ironic that a devout Christian as this Hogan kid is supposed to be might do a comeback like this. It seems simpler to just no comment but maybe he knows the original tweeter.

Devout Christians can have a sense of humor. They aren’t mutually exclusive

 

[Jonrn]

Thanks for your opinion.

I would say if religion is verboten here then comments expressing hate and derision for religion should also be. That makes sense to me.

As for Deuce, I hope he is like Tim Tebow in terms of character because most people, even those who don't believe in God, recognize Tebow is a good dude.

But I just hope he can throw better than TT cause that guy couldn't throw the pigskin for anything.

Taking a strong stand against Christianity is the same as being a professing Christian. Everybody worships something. Mocking and making unsubstantiated claims about Christians throughout history really is more “voodoo”

 

[CP87]

One thing I noticed from Deuce's highlights is that he takes snaps almost exclusively from the shotgun. I watched both his junior and senior highlights and I think I saw him take one snap under center...maybe 2. That will obviously have to change at Iowa. Not sure if he's early enrolling at Iowa but I fully expect him to redshirt.

He has a very quick release though, pretty impressive. Also seems nimble and accurate on his feet unlike Mr Stanley. His measurables seem to lineup with Stanzi but seems a little more mobile.

I don't really care either way about his religion I guess. If you're successful its all gravy, if you're not its a major annoyance.

The Iowa staff encouraged him to enjoy his senior year, which he said was a relief to he and his family, so he will not be enrolling early. He also said that he thinks a RS season might benefit him.

Iowa will always spend some time under center, but I think we will see a lot more shotgun going forward.

Also in the article: Hogan ran a 50-flat 400m as a freshman. That is legitimate wheels.

 

[CP87]

According to this site, Stanley's stats in high school (started 3 seasons, including an injury shortened junior year). Note, these numbers are a bit different than what Iowa's site has for his HS stats:
26 games, 195/420 (46.4%), 3446 yards, 8.2 yds/att, 132 yds/game, 35 TDs/12 Int


Spencer Petras' stats (as starter for junior and senior years):

27 games, 544/923 (58.9%), 7193 yards, 7.8 yds/att, 266 yds/game, 84 TDs/10 int


Deuce Hogan's stats (4 year starter):

48 games, 589/1110, 8180 yards, 7.4 yds/att, 170.4 yds/game, 100 TDs/33 int

Deuce as junior/senior:
23 games, 268/539 (49.7%), 3878 yards, 7.2 yds/att, 169 yds/game, 48 TDs/12 int


Peyton Mansell as junior/senior starter:
23 games, 327/501 (65.3%), 4268 yards, 8.5 yds/att, 186 yds/game, 53 TDs/10 int
278 carries for 1790 yds (6.4 ypc), 25 TDs


Alex Padilla as junior/senior starter:
25 games, 345/503 (68.5%), 4570 yards, 9.1 yds/att, 183 yds/game, 64TDs/11 int

I posted the stats above yesterday with Stanley's, Hogan's, and Petras; high school numbers. Afterwards I realized I should have included Mansell and Padilla as well. Kind of an interesting look at how a group of QBs, all with P5 talent, can put up pretty different stats based upon the offense they played in and the talent around them.

 

[mopkins]

The Iowa staff encouraged him to enjoy his senior year, which he said was a relief to he and his family, so he will not be enrolling early. He also said that he thinks a RS season might benefit him.

Iowa will always spend some time under center, but I think we will see a lot more shotgun going forward.

Also in the article: Hogan ran a 50-flat 400m as a freshman. That is legitimate wheels.

good to know. If he's not early enrolling then zero chance he starts as a true freshman.

 

[SteveGarvey1]

A toddler’s brain can conclude that you don’t need an imaginary goomba man in the sky to be nice to people.

Rape boys, arrange marriages, behead people in the desert, crusade across Europe, hate everyone who doesn’t believe in their particular comic book, don’t pay taxes, shoot rockets over walls, let’s sterilize Alan Turing ‘cause he’s gay maybe...but why don’t we just look past it because they hand out sack lunches and donate some mosquito nets. Yeeeaaahhh...

Wacko people believing dumb ghost stories have killed and enslaved billions more people than they’ll ever save digging fresh water ditches to houses in Haiti, Jack. You don’t have to kneel down to some guy with a funny hat and kiss his ring to help and comfort people. Learning that is what separates knuckle dragging cavemen from humans.

And you actually believe all these exaggerations, stereotypes and lies it seems. I mean, wow, that is truly breathtaking.

 

[SteveGarvey1]

Countries that have no religion or that don't worship a specific deity have literally done nothing wrong in the history of mankind. Basically, if you read history, you'll learn that the only wrongs committed in the entire course of human history were done by Christian, cis, white males. Think about it!

Yes, countries with no religion like the USSR and communist China have done nothing wrong, no doubt. Christian, Cis, white males are scourges of history. All bad, no good has ever come from them.

Did I do that right?

 

[HawkU]

Sorry you feel that way. It isn’t gonna change my mind.

You can call me whatever names you want, but if you want to say I’m a woman hater you need some proof. Don’t invent shit to make a point that isn’t there. That’s weak, and I know you’re smarter than that. Don’t be lazy.

Last, I’m not bitter at all. I don’t have a bunch of guilt from some jackwad at a pulpit weighing me down. I enjoy my life quite much. The religious people don’t like me though, because it isn’t fair that I can be happy without their junk. Whether it’s jealousy or just hate because I ain’t one of them is academic. I can’t say I care enough to spend much time deciding.

Look, there are plenty of people in the world and plenty on HN who see the same hilarity and hypocrisy that I do, but understandably they don’t say anything because they don’t want the wrath of the weirdos coming down on them and they don’t want to offend anyone. The only difference between me and them is that I point it out. And the only reason the flat earthers are offended is because it makes sense and they can’t prove their points otherwise. If it makes you feel better, by all means comfort yourself by “knowing” that I’m gonna go to Heck when I croak.

I still love you guys.

Thanks to Thomas Paine's Age of Reason I happen to agree with your position about religions. However I'm left scratching my head due to your style of wrath and hypocrisy being displayed.

In previous posts have you not chastised people for bringing up religion or politics and telling them to take it elsewhere? And yet, in this particular thread have you not gone on, quite vociferously, about religions?

When you get up on your high horse against religions how is that any different than someone who gets up on theirs for religion?

 

[okeefe4prez]

Yes, countries with no religion like the USSR and communist China have done nothing wrong, no doubt. Christian, Cis, white males are scourges of history. All bad, no good has ever come from them.

Did I do that right?

Yes. Try this thought exercise. Name a single gender nonbinary woman of color who has ever started a world war. What's that? You can't. #IRestMyCase #RuPaul2020