Yes, Iowa won, but…

I stopped caring what 25 year old women think about 15 years ago. Real men don't wear a fucking shirt into the pool or when on the beach. We show off our beer belly and hairy chest and don't give a shit who is grossed out. It's on page 25 of your real man handbook.
Then you can do it with sunscreen on.
 
You should go the mobile pass route. $275 a piece with no donation/fees/taxes. It'd be pretty cheap to get 2 tix and rotate between your boys and taking your wife (assuming she's into Hawks sports).

I wish I lived even half as close as IC. My kid and I made all 7 home games this year and we live 5 1/2 hours away. Traveling was a bitch but worth it.

I give you that travel a ton of respect. It's a commitment indeed. There are a lot of advantages living down here. Many ex-Hawks helping to coach various levels. At the beginning of this past football season, Tristen Wirfs was nice enough to stop by their football practice to meet the kids, pictures, etc..
 
I don't understand why Florida can fire Mullins for poor performance, but we're stuck with Ferentz! $5 million! I also don't know where babies come from!
 
While we're on the subject of fashion...

If you are a male over the age of 19, wearing a flat brimmed hat should be subject to immediate summary execution. I know there are 40 somethings on this board who let your wives dress you up like Ken dolls and this will severely trigger some of you, but listen up...

Here is a list of shit that you as a 40 something are not allowed to do and should be put in jail for...

1) Tanning. I don't even need to explain this one. A 43 year-old from Iowa looking like a burnt umber leather purse in January screams insecurity. Don't fucking do it.

2) Jeans that don't say Levi's or Wrangler on them. Stop listening to your wife and stop letting her buy you boot cut jeans with sparkly stitching on the ass pockets and fake stone washing down the front. We fucking know that you didn't wear the dye out on your knees, and thighs, bud. Stop trying to sell the idea.

3) Earrings. Just fucking don't. Most of us all had run ins with earrings in the 90's, but most of us actually grew up. Take those goddamned things out and throw 'em in the river.

4) Backwards hats. The day you got your first gray beard hair was the first day you were disqualified from wearing a hat backwards. It's not a tragedy, it's a testament that you've lived long enough to not dress like you're 19 anymore. Also, bonus points removed if that hat you're wearing backwards is flat brimmed or tilted off angle. Immediate firing squad.

5) Jordans or any other sneakers with skinny jeans tucked in behing the tongues. You don't live in Brooklyn, you aren't 17 years old, and wearing that shit in Bondurant, Iowa or wherever the hell you are isn't showing solidarity to the hip hop scene on the east/west coasts. It just marks you as a doucher who can't accept that he doesn't get carded anymore.

6) Sculpted goatee designs. Totally fucking prohibited. No soul patches, no shaving your goatee down to an upside-down T, no doing the 3 stripe thing upto your lips because you can't grow a full goatee. Either have a goatee or beard and let it be, or shave it. For the learning impaired in the crowd, basically if Fred Durst ever did it, it's not allowed. A goatee is your mustache and chin hair under your lips, unadulterated, period.

Fellas...stop letting your wife buy you clothes and trying to dress you up like a little puppy dog. You're 40 or 50 something years old, all you need are a few white and gray undershirts, a few solid color polos, t-shirts, some non-cargo pants/shorts (no fucking jorts allowed), and a few pairs of Levi's in whatever style fits comfortably. A couple hoodies, and a pair of black or gray sneakers. Hawkeye gear is to consist of t-shirts, hoodies, baseball caps or stocking hats only. No Columbia fleeces and no sweat pants. If you're too cold and think you need a $97 Hawkeye Columbia fleece, put another shirt underneath your hoodie and toughen the F up. Hawk gear is to be presented in proper Black and Old Gold, not that florescent yellow shit that some brands try to use to avoid marketing licenses. Also, Hawkeye gear should never be disposed of, only added to. That mid 90s shirt with the puke stains and burned sleeve are marks of rites of passage and suffering. If your wife tells you to throw pieces of your collection away, that is when it has been elevated to shrine status, not the garbage can. Tell her to get bent or find a different husband name Reese or Clayton who will let her play dress up. You're not her little preschooler.

If you have to dress up for work just do your thing, but no skinny dress pants, no shiny fabric, and definitely no pointy-toe oxfords. That's for 20 year olds--not you. For those of you still triggered and still thinking they can dress hip...know this--

The rest of us see you coming a mile away, smell you when you walk in the room, and we make fun of you when you're not looking.


Fry lays down the fashion rules and regulations

Wranglers are the goods

Long-lasting and relatively inexpensive
 
9 WINS IS UNACCEPTABLE THIS IS BULLSHIT WE NEED TO FIRE ALL THE COACHES BECAUSE FERENTZ HAS BEEN HERE TOO LONG WE NEED NEW BLOOD EVERYONE HERE HAS A LOSER ATTITUDE TO ACCEPT 9 WINS AS GOOD ENOUGH EVEN A 5 YEAR OLD COULD CALL BETTER PLAYS FIRE EVERYONE AND IF THEY DON'T WIN FIRE EVERYONE AGAIN IOWA IS A MARQUEE DESTINATION AND GREAT COACHES WOULD LOVE TO COME HERE FIRE EVERYONE THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE IM SICK OF 9 WINS BEING THE CEILING FIRE EVERYONE!!!

Fry lays it down HARD

Hot Damn
 
Remember, no Hankins, Roberts, or Koerner, or if Koerner does play he's not going to be 100%.

Frost isn't going to throw Belton's way, so if Martinez gets time he's going to absolutely torch us through the air.

Illinois' QB is absolute trash and he threw for his highest yardage total of the season against us by far. That's bad enough, but he had his highest yardage total and only threw 44%.

The way I see this there are two choices. Get Micah Hyde and Desmond King to show up and hope no one notices, or sack Martinez early and often. Otherwise Hawks drop this one big time. That crowd is going to be the loudest one in Memorial Stadium all year, and their players are going to be amped to the max because this is their Super Bowl now.
Care to revise this hot spurts taek following word AM is out?
 

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