We'll just have to agree to disagree here. Everyone will say "I, I, I want the government to take care of sick little kids" and as a policy matter we have said "Kurt, if you want to donate a million bucks to the sick little kids you can go ahead and take that off your income that you owe tax on." Then people say "NOT LIKE THAT." And on deductions for stock losses, that is limited to the amount of gains and you can only actually deduct $3k of losses per year. As a conceptual matter, if I trade stock A for a $100 gain and trade stock B for a $100 loss, my income is 0. You would presumably say my income is $100 but I can never see the world that way.
I also think the information revolution has done away with the need for a lot of auditors. The overwhelming majority of transactions are conducted electronically and the thresholds for issuing 1099s are now very low so the IRS can electronically review millions of tax returns in short order. The IRS database gets pretty much every W-2 and 1099 (along with the miscellaneous other crap like the 1098, 5498, etc.) and they have a pretty good idea of your tax bill before you even submit your return. In your case, your adoption expenses were something where there wasn't a counterparty submitting a record to the IRS so you got flagged because you presumably had a sizable deduction that they couldn't account for in their system. Sucks that it happened to you, but that actually shows the system is working.