I disagree, but it is dependent on the LD. I was really into impact evaluations and was a bit of a pioneer on online learning. I always had good results in traditional classrooms to the point I could not think it could get better and with online it did.
Why? Students felt more safe asking questions online than with peers physically present. Bullying is practically non existent and if there is it is more readily reported. As a teacher I found it easier to figure out what a student does or doesn't understand. Also depending on the class the student can participate on their own time to a degree.
No system is perfect though, but online can be excellent. I've seen students really blossom online and not because the parents are doing it for them..
Not saying this as a cheap shot, but it's true. Life is never perfect. The best situation for your son was in a supportive 2 parent family. That didn't happen, but we make the best of what we can.
You can disagree if you want, it makes zero difference to me. I know what I saw everyday with my son engaging in distance learning and it was very negative.
Regarding his family situation, he has a very supportive two parent family. His mom and I are both involved in his life daily, we make decisions together, and he flourishes in school and socially. Children who don’t do well with unmarried parents are overwhelmingly products of single-custody, antagonistic relationships and studies have confirmed that over and over and over. You saying that children don’t do well in our situation—without qualification—is a hold over from the 50s where the blanket statement was that a child couldn’t succeed outside the WASP version of the nuclear family. What you should say...is that
statistically, children do better in traditional settings because
statistically kids in those situations tend to have parents who hate each other, use kids as pawns, have boyfriends/girlfriends constantly cycling in and out causing instability, and they don’t spend as much time together.
My son’s mom and I have none of that. She is married to a guy who’s very stable and he and I get along well, and we live a block away from each other. There’s never been a girlfriend in the picture or in my home in the 12 years we’ve been separated, and there’s definitely never been a casual one either. Nothing wrong with a significant other, but I have zero interest in a relationship with anyone physical or otherwise. My son’s mom and I are actually close friends, and their family, my son and I do things together at times as a group. They’re not drinkers or substance users, I’m not either. I can’t think of a single day (I’m sure there may be a few) that I haven’t talked to his mom in the last 14 years (he’ll turn 14 in a couple months). We communicate several times a day, and we are both very much on the same page. We’re both at conferences, sporting events, dr appts, quite literally everything. Neither of us has ever missed any of those things, and we always go as a pair, i.e. we don’t sit apart or dissociate ourselves. I understand that it’s hard for you to picture a situation that’s positive for a kid in this arrangement, but let me leave you with this...
You’ve mentioned many times the need for a nuclear family for functional, successful kids to become functional, successful adults. You’ve also mentioned many times that you have certain ones of your own kids who are dysfunctional poop shows. Let’s not sugar coat it, my son was in the same boat as a youngster but we’ve successfully worked through it to this point. I’m sorry if that offends you, but it is what it is. We can use a different euphemistic term if it will make you feel better, but it doesn’t change the content of the situation.
Don’t you think that it discredits you’re point a little bit that you’ve got your own children who grew up with a mom and dad under the same roof, but they have flopped so far? And doesn’t it reinforce my point that your tendency to base everything on statistics with no qualifying context (a dangerous mistake in critical thinking, btw) is at best a weak display of ability to google academic studies, and at worst an assumption that however your own kids were raised was the “right” way, when in reality you failed them in several ways? I could say with definite relevance that you having a skrewball home environment (you’ve alluded to some bonkers events in your household in the past) is more damaging than the stability and inclusiveness that we make a point to provide as two separated parents.
I may very well fail my son at some point (I’m not so pompous as to say I won’t), and I don’t mean to say that your intent wasn’t good with your own kids. That is, you tried your best but failed certain ones—that’s admirable even if it didn’t work. That failure may well have been out of your control. But until that day comes, I think it’s best to take the approach that not all children respond the same way that statistical averages say they will, and that not all situations are the same as those that cause problems in a bigger subset. You putting a ceiling on any kids (not just mine) and saying that even if they had great success from a non traditional family they would have had greater success from a nuclear one, is just a sophomorish conclusion. Your own lukewarm child rearing results actually speak against your conclusions. How did yours fail if they had the familial deck stacked in their favor? Isn’t parenting the most important and influential common denominator here? Are we to think that your children’s problems are all caused by external forces, especially as you provide what you tout as infallible parenting advice? I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t take mechanical advice from a guy who couldn’t keep his own car running.
People in glass houses should be careful with direction and velocity when they throw those rocks. Maybe someday we can sit down and I can give you some pointers on how to prevent the dysfunction you’ve created with your own kids if mine by chance turns out to be stable and successful. Maybe he’ll be the serial killer or just plain leech on society you predict, I don’t know. Or would that not be a sufficient sample size?