One thing on this DJK thing that I don't get...

tm3308 said:
I didn't see the "expensive" items, so I can't say anything about that. But if I read the story correctly, the money wasn't found in his room, so there's no proof that it's his. And since his roommate is being charged with dealing and not DJK, it's not hard to make the argument that it wasn't DJ's money.

Though I admit that's pretty naive. I hope it's not his.
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Regardless, he made the choice of allowing this activity to take place under his roof. He didn't have to abuse drugs, live in a place they were being sold, etc... This isn't a case of a person making an immature decision to try a drug, this is well beyond that. I think it's pretty naive to assume he had no responsibility for the actions taking place under his roof.
 
smoot27 said:
Regardless, he made the choice of allowing this activity to take place under his roof. He didn't have to abuse drugs, live in a place they were being sold, etc... This isn't a case of a person making an immature decision to try a drug, this is well beyond that. I think it's pretty naive to assume he had no responsibility for the actions taking place under his roof.
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I certainly agree he needs to take responsibility. But I do think a bigger emphasis needs to be placed on helping him than exacting a pound of flesh. That's really what the prison system is for, at least for most crimes. It's supposed to be a CORRECTIONAL facility. And Derrell clearly needs help to overcome this. It's not pity, coddling, or letting him off the hook. It's doing the right thing. Obviously there's nothing we can do to help. But I place a higher emphasis on him getting help than viewing things as "crime and punishment".
 
tm3308 said:
I certainly agree he needs to take responsibility. But I do think a bigger emphasis needs to be placed on helping him than exacting a pound of flesh. That's really what the prison system is for, at least for most crimes. It's supposed to be a CORRECTIONAL facility. And Derrell clearly needs help to overcome this. It's not pity, coddling, or letting him off the hook. It's doing the right thing. Obviously there's nothing we can do to help. But I place a higher emphasis on him getting help than viewing things as "crime and punishment".
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The problem with that view though is that people typically don't change behaviors even after going through correctional institutions. My dad is in law enforcement and he says the majority of criminals he comes across are repeat offenders.
 
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smoot27 said:
The problem with that view though is that people typically don't change behaviors even after going through correctional institutions. My dad is in law enforcement and he says the majority of criminals he comes across are repeat offenders.
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I said that's what the prison system is supposed to do. It fails quite often. I don't know what it's like on the inside. But how does the prison system work to rehabilitate offenders, rather than just punish them?
 
30K students in Iowa City and he has the "misfortune" to end up as a roommate with a known/previously convicted drug dealer?

That's just plain bad luck!
 
If there is a sliver of hope in all of this...it's his name is going to be at the top of several Iowa "all time" lists for years to come.

Thus, everytime somebody looks up Iowa FB stats, there his name will be, like a ghostly constant reminder of what not to do in life.
 
I feel a mixture of sadness and anger over DJK's situation. What a waste of tremendous talent and possibly an NFL career, and a personal tragedy to boot. I do not see humor in it.

I do wonder whether for most people drugs and drug possession are just a step beyond alcohol; how many jokes were made on message boards about various football players getting caught with alcohol or driving a moped drunk, or a former member of the basketball team being found lying drunk in an alley? (Having rushed a friend to a hospital for possible alcohol poisoning, I didn't see much funny about AT's illness, either.) How many jokes were made about players for Iowa as well as other schools getting into publicized or rumored scrapes, with the law or with other difficult situations?

It's not funny. But it happens.
 
It really is amazing how these types of situations illustrate the naïveté of the American public regarding such issues. From Jon's over-the-top earnestness, (let me guess, you went the celebrate recovery path, instead of the AA route) to the cavalier attitudes of the 'personal responsibility' crowd.

We don't know to what extent DJK is dealing with issues of addiction or normal (in terms of IC) college partying. (Everybody should understand that the reported amount of binge drinking at the UI far exceeds the vast majority of campuses) We don't know if he is a knucklehead, or if has a disease. (and yes, to those of you in the personal responsibility crowd, there is now ample DNA evidence to support the disease concept of addiction and alcoholism, as well as the genetic ties, of which DJK's background could be an indicator.)

Can we laugh? Sure! I mean go to a good, active AA group and you will hear people laughing about what are seemingly tragic to most people. Is it all DJK's fault? Who knows? But it is undeniable that he has some key indicators that could influence dependency. Finally, please if any of you think he shouldn't have done this because of the love and support offered by the Koulianos family, please do yourself favor and get a little education on co-dependence, or just stop by an Alanon meeting someday.
 
DJK did something very, very bad. It was galactically stupid and he did it knowingly. He dug his own hole. He is an adult and absolutely must be held responsible for his actions.

I am personally very disgusted by this and very disappointed and angry at DJK.

That said, I am also human and capapble of complexity. At the same time that I have feelings of anger, disgust and disappointment, I can also put myself in DJK's shoes and feel empathy for him.

Without letting him off of the hook for one moment, I also feel deep sadness for DJK and feel very sorry for him. His life just turned into a world of hurt, the worst part of it being that he did it to himself.

Even though he did a very bad and stupid thing and must be fittingly punished for it, I still feel sorry for him and refuse to make jokes or find and humor in an all around tragic situation.

You CAN feel sorry for someone and yet still hold their feet to the fire.

Just a sad and tragic situation all around. How can people be this stupid???
 
If it as addiction issue, punishment won't fix it. That being said, people should be held accountable. Just hope that punishment is not where it ends if it is an addiction issue.
 
How can the police be quoted in the ICPC article...re: DJK's use of the drugs. I would think he should get a lawyer before making any statements to the police about what he did and did not do. Also, can the police really release these sort of statements to the press before any formal charges/action in court? I don't get this process. Some newspapers will not even release "suspects'" names until formal charges but in I.C. the police talk freely with the newspapers within hours of arresting someone like DJK? This is not sitting well with me.
 
IOWuh said:
I figure this went down in one of two ways:

1. He's a college kid who wants the Ochocinco mistique and that comes with fancy clothes, fancy hair cuts, a fancy swager etc. Coke might factor into the "glitz." The muscle relaxors and pain meds could be legit. If this is the case, he's a damn knucklehead who threw away not only his reputation at Iowa, a possible NFL career and the admiration of the entire Hawkeye Nation. Most importantly, he'll have let down a family who loves him and likely sacrificed a fair amount to give him the very best shot at life. Sad and stupid but not necessarily tragic. He could move on.

2. He has alluded to addiction in his family tree. Maybe he developed a true dependance or addiction to these substances. If that's the case, while I still think he's stupid for throwing his chances away, my heart still goes out to him. Addiction is a b*tch and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. He and his family will need all the support they can get.


If I had to guess, I'd say he fits into scenerio one. Or maybe I just hope it's so.
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Can't put it any better than this. Well said and I completely agree. I've made mistakes relating to alcohol and certainly felt sorry for myself, but didn't deserve anyone else feeling sorry for me.

If it's #2, then I would be very sad for him. I don't think it is.
 
tm3308 said:
One way to look at it is to think of his family. What he's done is INCREDIBLY stupid. I could think of a few zingers. I don't bite my tongue for his sake, though. I keep my mouth shut out of respect for his family. I can't imagine that they aren't racking their brains trying to figure out what else they could have done to help him, where did they go wrong. Because it's been quite obvious over the years that the Koulianos' do truly love Derrell. And the jokes serve as yet another reminder that perhaps they failed him in some way.

I realize that they are hardly likely to see these posts. It's just the basic principle that I operate by.
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In the last year, I've had to deal with this from the family perspective and trust me, anyone who's had to deal with this as a personal issue or from the aspect of being part of a family going through IT DO NOT see this as a laughing matter.
 
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JonDMiller said:
He's going to reap what he has sewn. What he has potentially lost is huge, and I certainly dont take any joy or humor in that.

Perhaps because I have had an 'on the brink' moment in my life, related to drinking, when I was way down in a hole, perhaps I feel more pity than anything else. Perhaps some folks that have not hit certain depths don't relate that way. I dont know.

I just know that I find this sad, as I do several instances of things like this where young people make such huge mistakes.
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Its not sad, its pathetic.
 
The Recovery mantra is, "You are not a bad person, you are a sick person." However, then predominent recovery models employ a Christian-influenced 12 Step Model, or motivational interviewing, which has a strong moral component. Basically, with addiction and alcholism there is always a key tension between biopsychosocial and physical aspects.

This can also be seen in the manner that children who have active parenting are less likely to get involved in drug and alcohol abuse, but then genetic factors toward addiction can increase the tendency.

Just please, before we get more armchair theorizing about motivation, decision making, morality, etc. Just do a quick google search on addiction.

You can also look up an article in the June 2010 edition of Wired that has a pretty easy understanding of addiction that might be helpful.

All of this being said, we have no idea as to whether DJK is an addict or just an irresponsible kid.

The research shows that 75% of people who use drugs or alcohol abusively at some point in their life overcome their abusive behavior without any form of intervention or treatment. However, the recovery rate of individuals who find it necessary to enter drug and alcohol treatment centers hovers around 10% long term.

In other words, there is a HUGE difference between the irresponsible abuser and the addict and we have no idea which one DJK might be.
 
Jon, you are spot on. I am so dissappointed and angry that i do not understand how anyone can make light of this. I am frankly PO'd and sick of this entire season of Iowa football....for the first time in my life i just want the season to end.

This is unfortunetly is a major black eye for the program, i find nothing funny about it.
 
I am tired of the worn out "they are an addict, it's a sickness, poor them" mentality. In order to become addicted to something, you first have to try it. If there was a background with family members who struggled with addiction, this should have been brought up to him at an early age and he should have known that he was more susceptible to becoming addicted.

As someone who has battled his own personal demons, I have began early education with my son on how he is at a much higher risk for having an addictive personality and that while others may be able to have a few drinks, casually use recreational drugs, etc, that due to his genetics he is most likely not going to be able to handle that.

Everybody has become a victim in society. If you cheat on your spouse, it's because you are addicted to sex. If you continually make bad choices regarding drugs and alcohol over and over again, it's a sickness. You can say addiction is a disease, but it's a preventable disease.
 
Re: I agree with you Jon. And I will piggy back on it, too.

Thawki said:
I guess I am just of the belief that Iowans don't have the market cornered on being kind to others and I will leave it at that.
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Yeah, the campaign and vote to oust the three Iowa Supreme Court judges this past fall pretty much solidified this for me.
 
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