OK4P is getting what he deserves

HappyChef said:
Before anyone starts to think we're picking on ol' OK4P, let me point out a few things:

1. I didn't do this to him...he's done it to himself (pretty much like his sex life I'm sure). He went out and purchased NW tickets. A lot of his attributes I can forgive including, but not limited to, his odor, the mustard he has on his shirts at games, showing up with 2 beers missing from a 6 pack, the times when he "forgot his money," etc., etc.). But purchasing NW season tickets is like sticking a dagger in the backs of all Hawkeyes, and I just can't ignore it.

2. After taking others to games last year, I now realize that these tickets are better used by people who can provide real analysis to the game. Or alternatively, I can have an extremely hot woman sitting next to me - obviously she can't provide any analysis, but it's still better than having OK4P there. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to explain different aspects of football to him because he's too busy sticking a tenderloin sammich down his cake hole or watching the band play another nifty melody. It's the same level of analysis as the pretty woman without the attraction.

Again, he's doing it to himself.
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I'm not buying that for a second.
 
Look, I'm not worried about OK4P coming off the turnbuckle. He comes off the turnbuckle on me, I'll slap him in the Gagne Sleeper or the Figure Four Leg Lock, and that will be all she wrote.

I will quote Sgt Highway from Heartbreak Ridge:

"That means be advised: I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and pi$$ naplam, and I can put a round through a fleas a$$ from 200 meters. So why don't you hump someone else's leg, Mutt Face, before I shove yours in."
 
HappyChef said:
Look, I'm not worried about OK4P coming off the turnbuckle. He comes off the turnbuckle on me, Me and ChixWings willslap him in the Gagne Sleeper or the Figure Four Leg Lock, and that will be all she wrote.

I will quote Sgt Highway from Heartbreak Ridge:

"That means be advised: I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and pi$$ naplam, and I can put a round through a fleas a$$ from 200 meters. So why don't you hump someone else's leg, Mutt Face, before I shove yours in."
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Fixed it for you.
 
VintageHawkeye said:
I think OK4P is up on the top turnbuckle right now, getting ready to hammer down some pain on his foes. Expect a mighty display of pile-driving prowess any minute now.
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Not a bad analogy, but I think a more fitting one is going back to Karate Kid and KOK as Daniel. The Chef and I are sporting our Cobra Kai body suits and have Daniel up against the fence and are beating him to death. The only difference is there is no Miyagi to come to little Daniel's rescue.

KOK's Miyagi was the Chef. He lost his protector and trainer when he bought the purple tickets.

"Put him in a body bad, yeah!"
 
Does this mean you guys won't be listening to CW McCall in the RV on the way to the games anymore?
 
Look Koolaids, if I were the same person as KOK - and pretending not to be - do you think I would use words like that?

Seriously, did you get your private investigator certificate from the Dale Gribble School of Private Investigators - Morning Session? Maybe you should stick to using the magnifying glass to burn ants so you don't get hurt here in Hawkeye Land.

OK4P and I used to be friends. He decided to walk out on the Hawks, and I'm calling him out on it.
 
HappyChef said:
Before anyone starts to think we're picking on ol' OK4P, let me point out a few things:

1. I didn't do this to him...he's done it to himself (pretty much like his sex life I'm sure). He went out and purchased NW tickets. A lot of his attributes I can forgive including, but not limited to, his odor, the mustard he has on his shirts at games, showing up with 2 beers missing from a 6 pack, the times when he "forgot his money," etc., etc.). But purchasing NW season tickets is like sticking a dagger in the backs of all Hawkeyes, and I just can't ignore it.

2. After taking others to games last year, I now realize that these tickets are better used by people who can provide real analysis to the game. Or alternatively, I can have an extremely hot woman sitting next to me - obviously she can't provide any analysis, but it's still better than having OK4P there. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to explain different aspects of football to him because he's too busy sticking a tenderloin sammich down his cake hole or watching the band play another nifty melody. It's the same level of analysis as the pretty woman without the attraction.

Again, he's doing it to himself.
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My bunghole bled for you. I blew that 'roid moving your desk, it popped, it bled for like a week. I had to go to the emergency room DURING FINALS where half the med students at the U of I had a chance to throw their fingers up there so, as their prof said, "they could learn what a bad 'roid felt like." You just laughed. Laughed every time you saw me walking all gimpy wearing my parachute pants, laughed when I showed up at school with my inflatable donut, laughed when I had to go to the ER.

With "friends" like you, HappyChef, I don't need enemies. Keep your stupid tickets. Sorry I ever brought this up. I'll get my own tickets to Ryan Field West, I'll go buy my own grill and bring my own food. I'll bring my own beer. I'll get my own RV. I'll find my own parking pass. My tailgate is going to be a million times better than yours. Nice knowing you, man.
 
AHawk1 said:
Does this mean you guys won't be listening to CW McCall in the RV on the way to the games anymore?
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Trick question, and I'm not falling for it...

You don't "listen" to CW McCall, you "experience" it. Gotta sign along or it just doesn't work. Now I'm just bringing Mavis (the waitress from the Ol Home Filler Up and Keep On Trucking Cafe).
 
okeefe4prez said:
My bunghole bled for you. I blew that 'roid moving your desk, it popped, it bled for like a week. I had to go to the emergency room DURING FINALS where half the med students at the U of I had a chance to throw their fingers up there so, as their prof said, "they could learn what a bad 'roid felt like." You just laughed. Laughed every time you saw me walking all gimpy wearing my parachute pants, laughed when I showed up at school with my inflatable donut, laughed when I had to go to the ER.

With "friends" like you, HappyChef, I don't need enemies. Keep your stupid tickets. Sorry I ever brought this up. I'll get my own tickets to Ryan Field West, I'll go buy my own grill and bring my own food. I'll bring my own beer. I'll get my own RV. I'll find my own parking pass. My tailgate is going to be a million times better than yours. Nice knowing you, man.
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This just got super wierd.
 
HappyChef said:
Trick question, and I'm not falling for it...

You don't "listen" to CW McCall, you "experience" it. Gotta sign along or it just doesn't work. Now I'm just bringing Mavis (the waitress from the Ol Home Filler Up and Keep On Trucking Cafe).
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Hey Chef, remember that time we were jamming to CW McCall and went to Mount Joy and you bought those 40s of malt liquor and I only took like one drink but didn't put the cap back on and spilled the whole thing over the floor of your car and you could never get the smell out? Well, thanks for the ride to Mount Joy and I'm sorry I spilled 38 ounces of malt liquor in your car.
 
hmm....that whole roid stuff is a bit much. But the last paragraph was almost sad...I also am starting to believe they are the same person...
 
ISUhawk said:
So who is this extremely hot woman? Do you have to pay for her company on saturdays?
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Given that your title includes ISU, I can understand why you would ask the question, but the answer might just surprise you. The answer is yes, because quite frankly, there is always a cost to being with a hot woman.

In your case, you probably have to pay before you can take your woman away from the auction. In my case, it usually costs me the price of an occasional gift from a fine jewelry store.
 
okeefe4prez said:
Hey Chef, remember that time we were jamming to CW McCall and went to Mount Joy and you bought those 40s of malt liquor and I only took like one drink but didn't put the cap back on and spilled the whole thing over the floor of your car and you could never get the smell out? Well, thanks for the ride to Mount Joy and I'm sorry I spilled 38 ounces of malt liquor in your car.
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This is like a crappy breakup movie were it starts off funny then just gets g*y
 
ISUhawk said:
This is like a crappy breakup movie were it starts off funny then just gets g*y
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Don't be too hard on ISU. He's probably been through a couple of crappy breakups where his significant other had to be taken to market.

Hey ISU, you're just as guilty as OK4P on this loyaty stuff. Let me guess, you cheer for ISU when they aren't playing Iowa right? You probably also like Iowa in football and Duke in basketball.
 
okeefe4prez said:
Why? I've said it a million times before, there are two kinds of people in this world, those who have had a 'roid and those who think 'roids are funny. HappyChef died laughing at me when I blew a 'roid.
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Well bince i've never had a roid I will take your word for it.
 
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