Hunter Johnson to Northwestern

[Fryowa]

People like that piss me off. Glad you did what worked for you.

I could go on a long rant about marriage, but I'll spare everyone the science lecture

The older I get the more skeptical I am of what people tell me. If you really stop and think about it, most every piece of advice you get in life is an anecdotal wives' tale.

 

[MelroseHawkins]

My wife sells back to school notebooks and folders. I keep saying shes living in the past because eventually all kids are going to have tablets and laptops and wont need folders anymore.

Then I hear tons of stories like yours where kids destroy anything and everything they get their hands on, and suddenly her career seems pretty safe

That's just off the top of my head. Many other stories.

 

[MelroseHawkins]

I know full well you didn't mean it this way, but just wanted to toss it out there...my son is 11 and his mom and I split when he was 2, we live in the same small town about 3/4 mile apart and split custody 50/50. We get along great now and split expenses 50/50 (never were married so no child support). Son gets A's in school, plays sports, has lots of friends, and we've never heard a peep about behavior. If one of us would like to take him on one of our "off" days it's zero problem, we just switch another day and he can ride his bike back and forth anytime he wants...I do know that when his mom and I lived together as a two-parent household, we fought a lot and I'm ashamed to say we yelled in front of him all the time. Total shit show. Tried to keep it together because we had a kid. We just couldn't be in a relationship and the best thing we ever did was split.

Like I said I know you didn't mean to say anything bad; just thought it was worth mentioning.

When he was about to start preschool we went in to meet with the teacher. She was a 115 year old, leather battle axe with no compassion for anything. A straight out of the '30s, "kids should be seen and not heard" type. She assumed we were married and when we told her we weren't, and what our custody arrangement was, she went on a 15 minute rant about how a child needs one home (not surprisingly with his mother), how they won't do well or succeed with the "chaos" of going back and forth between two homes all the time, and how we'd be "hurting" him by doing what we're doing. We were new to this and he was our only kid, and her spiel scared us enough that we almost considered doing what she told us because we didn't' know any better. I bring that up because it would have been the worst possible thing I can think of, especially now that I see how he's turned out. Traditional homes aren't the best in every single case.

For all you new or expecting parents out there, don't take a dinosaur's advice on how you should raise your kids just because he or she had 8 of 'em. Chances are that if someone's bold enough to tell you what to do with your children, their own kids are likely maladjusted assholes that you wouldn't want to meet anyway.

No, I definitely apologize and your situation is completely different because you are both supporting your son and working as a team. My intention was not to put all in the same pot. Splitting and divorce is nothing new and has been happening forever. I'm talking about the single family where the father splits on them or past behavior kids raising behavior kids. There are success stories with these people as well.

I'm talking about the kid who's mom keeps yo yo'ing back and forth between her old boyfriend/ex husband and new boyfriends, then making the behavior son call the new one "dad" within the first 3 weeks of dating.

 

[Hawkfnntn]

People like that piss me off. Glad you did what worked for you.

I could go on a long rant about marriage, but I'll spare everyone the science lecture

I've never been married and stick needles in my eyes if I ever consider doing it... I saw too many family and friends ripped every direction there is from it. Not to mention stories from strangers. I just couldn't see the risk/reward being worth it. More power to those that have and make it work. But I'd rather be alone with my money and miserable than with someone without my money and even more miserable...

 

[MelroseHawkins]

I've never been married and stick needles in my eyes if I ever consider doing it... I saw too many family and friends ripped every direction there is from it. Not to mention stories from strangers. I just couldn't see the risk/reward being worth it. More power to those that have and make it work. But I'd rather be alone with my money and miserable than with someone without my money and even more miserable...

I'd "like" your post, but too afraid my wife might see and make the connection so will play on the safe side!

 

[mopkins]

I've never been married and stick needles in my eyes if I ever consider doing it... I saw too many family and friends ripped every direction there is from it. Not to mention stories from strangers. I just couldn't see the risk/reward being worth it. More power to those that have and make it work. But I'd rather be alone with my money and miserable than with someone without my money and even more miserable...

I just don't think marriage is "natural"...and I say that as a married man with 2 daughters. There are very very very few mammals that exist in the world who pair up and are together for life. In fact, the closest animal genetically to humans is the chimpanzee, and just like tksirius, they'll f*** anything that walks. Look at it this way, if marriage were natural, why do married people still gawk at celebrities and younger more attractive people? Why is porn a billion dollar industry? You'd think if marriage were the natural order of things, once you got married you wouldn't continue checking out the hot waitress in the tight pants...but trust me you do.

 

[Hawkfnntn]

I just don't think marriage is "natural"...and I say that as a married man with 2 daughters. There are very very very few mammals that exist in the world who pair up and are together for life. In fact, the closest animal genetically to humans is the chimpanzee, and just like tksirius, they'll f*** anything that walks. Look at it this way, if marriage were natural, why do married people still gawk at celebrities and younger more attractive people? Why is porn a billion dollar industry? You'd think if marriage were the natural order of things, once you got married you wouldn't continue checking out the hot waitress in the tight pants...but trust me you do.

Yeah that could be. I think it's fine for some. I of course know 'happily' married couples as far as they let on anyway too. It's certainly not for everyone and the biggest problem to me is many folks are unable to be honest with themselves about things. They jump in head first for only selfish reasons and nothing ends well for someone else if that's a motive for doing anything.

 

[Fryowa]

I've never been married and stick needles in my eyes if I ever consider doing it... I saw too many family and friends ripped every direction there is from it. Not to mention stories from strangers. I just couldn't see the risk/reward being worth it. More power to those that have and make it work. But I'd rather be alone with my money and miserable than with someone without my money and even more miserable...

I'm 95% in the same boat as you.

I have a girlfriend, but I've told her that I'm not planning on getting married and at least while my son still lives at home I am going to have my own separate house. Even if I ever move in, I'm keeping the house I have now (it's paid for). She knows it full well and I've never been bashful about it. Maybe someday she'll change her mind and get sick of it, who knows...but it won't be because I wasn't forthcoming.

My thing is that I can walk away from a situation pretty easily if I'm not feeling good about it which is the way it should be, but marriage makes things a disaster when it doesn't work out. Unless you're a religious person, all marriage is is a contract that says "I'm taking half your shit and suing you in court if things go bad." If you have kids it's even worse. I'm 37 and while I'm not rich, what I do have is mine, and I'll never put myself in a position that if a relationship doesn't end up working out that I have to sell belongings or a house in order to write someone a check and start my life over. F. That.

Another thing I wouldn't be able to conform to is asking a spouse/SO if it's ok if I go do something (or don't do something). I'm too old to start changing that part of my personality. If a buddy calls me spur of the moment and asks if I want to go fishing in 15 minutes I say yes. It's not in any part of my being to say, "Hang on, let me go ask [my wife]," or "Sorry man, I can't this weekend because we have that 94th birthday party for [wife's] great aunt in Mooseknuckle, SD tomorrow." Selfish? Yep. But that's me...just can't live life that way.

I'm not totally against it for everyone, just for me. I have a buddy who married his best friend and they're attached at the hip. Totally happy and that's great. It just ain't for me. I have to be my own person and I've seen way too many people's lives spin out of control because they were married and found out they weren't compatible.

 

[Fryowa]

I just don't think marriage is "natural"...and I say that as a married man with 2 daughters. There are very very very few mammals that exist in the world who pair up and are together for life. In fact, the closest animal genetically to humans is the chimpanzee, and just like tksirius, they'll f*** anything that walks. Look at it this way, if marriage were natural, why do married people still gawk at celebrities and younger more attractive people? Why is porn a billion dollar industry? You'd think if marriage were the natural order of things, once you got married you wouldn't continue checking out the hot waitress in the tight pants...but trust me you do.

Spot on.

And double bonus points for including @tksirius

 

[Fryowa]

No, I definitely apologize and your situation is completely different because you are both supporting your son and working as a team. My intention was not to put all in the same pot. Splitting and divorce is nothing new and has been happening forever. I'm talking about the single family where the father splits on them or past behavior kids raising behavior kids. There are success stories with these people as well.

I'm talking about the kid who's mom keeps yo yo'ing back and forth between her old boyfriend/ex husband and new boyfriends, then making the behavior son call the new one "dad" within the first 3 weeks of dating.

Holy cow no apology needed. I shouldn't have even quoted your post, I knew what you meant.

 

[Hawkfnntn]

I'm 95% in the same boat as you.

I have a girlfriend, but I've told her that I'm not planning on getting married and at least while my son still lives at home I am going to have my own separate house. Even if I ever move in, I'm keeping the house I have now (it's paid for). She knows it full well and I've never been bashful about it. Maybe someday she'll change her mind and get sick of it, who knows...but it won't be because I wasn't forthcoming.

My thing is that I can walk away from a situation pretty easily if I'm not feeling good about it which is the way it should be, but marriage makes things a disaster when it doesn't work out. Unless you're a religious person, all marriage is is a contract that says "I'm taking half your shit and suing you in court if things go bad." If you have kids it's even worse. I'm 37 and while I'm not rich, what I do have is mine, and I'll never put myself in a position that if a relationship doesn't end up working out that I have to sell belongings or a house in order to write someone a check and start my life over. F. That.

Another thing I wouldn't be able to conform to is asking a spouse/SO if it's ok if I go do something (or don't do something). I'm too old to start changing that part of my personality. If a buddy calls me spur of the moment and asks if I want to go fishing in 15 minutes I say yes. It's not in any part of my being to say, "Hang on, let me go ask [my wife]," or "Sorry man, I can't this weekend because we have that 94th birthday party for [wife's] great aunt in Mooseknuckle, SD tomorrow." Selfish? Yep. But that's me...just can't live life that way.

I'm not totally against it for everyone, just for me. I have a buddy who married his best friend and they're attached at the hip. Totally happy and that's great. It just ain't for me. I have to be my own person and I've seen way too many people's lives spin out of control because they were married and found out they weren't compatible.

Amen.

We are pretty darn similar that's for sure I have the same similar selfish mindset of not wanting to be nailed down. I'm totally self aware of that part of me as well. Like you I'm just honest about it and let the chips fall from there. I just don't have any kiddos and an ex to deal with in that way at all. But yeah for crying out loud it's insane how lawyers and the court system have made a whole industry out of divorce for crying out loud. If nobody decided to get married/divorced anymore how many lawyers would have to find a new gig? Hell courts would have to close down due to lack of funding. There is that joke out there though about "Why is divorce so expensive?.... Because it's worth it" Well that's all relative to me and I have no intentions of finding out the validity to it.

It's another thing in regards to those that are gay all wanting to get married that made me want to poke my eyes out too. Why would they want to do that? They aren't doing it to be recognized in a religious way they just want to be by the government I suppose and reap what 'benefits' that go with that. I don't have a problem with gays getting married anymore than anyone else I really don't I just don't understand why the hell they'd want to anymore than anyone else either. I'd be curious to know since they've opened the floodgates for them to what their divorce rates are to compare for curiosities sake. Pretty small sample size I'm sure and pretty short time frame but still curious nonetheless.

 

[4thngoal]

Momma says girls are the devil.

I've tried the marriage thing and deep down I suppose I hold out hope that it's still alive in society.
But if you guys think women are any different, you are wrong. I have been offered by married women and have friends that are going through divorce because their wives like to get some strange as well.
Marriage is a wonderful concept but face it, the moral fabric and self serving, fast food world of I want it now, doesn't exactly lend itself to the marring type.
Basically everyone wants attention. Men, women, it doesn't matter. They must feed the ego. This usually ends badly.
My ex wife was and still is a gorgeous woman, but any guy could and still can flip her with a wink and a cup of coffee (exaggeration).
The problem with feeding the ego like that is hey, if I take my Ferrari out and everyone stops and stares, then suddenly I want to take the Ferrari out even if I'm going for groceries. I want to take it out every day.
Pretty soon the Ferrari is a pile of ****.

 

[4thngoal]

Defenses are starting to get the hang of really attacking the qb-rb mesh point of zone reads and other shotgun run pass option offenses. If you noticed in the big upset of Mich in 16 and near upset of PSU in 17 the hawk defense was making hits as the qb and rb were right together before any read can be made by the qb.

It goes back to attacking rather than reacting and I am glad to see Phil Parker doing it. Like you said if you can throw these types of option offense for a loss on first or second down and get them in third and long then all the better. Plus you force turnovers this way.

This works too, but you have to get there.
The whole thing is offense is about being the aggressor. Option ball is extremely aggressive. The trick is how do you turn what they are trying to do against them.
If you know that if you do this or show that and it results in a pass, then be friggin ready for the pass!!

 

[SteveGarvey1]

Came on to read about Hunter Johnson and see a Dr. Phil segment is going on.

Well, I'm married. Sometimes things are good, sometimes not. Kinda like football.

 

[HawkU]

The older I get the more skeptical I am of what people tell me. If you really stop and think about it, most every piece of advice you get in life is an anecdotal wives' tale.

Definitely have to consider the source. Ever get financial advice from someone who is about to have their utilities shut off?

 

[HawkU]

I've never been married and stick needles in my eyes if I ever consider doing it... I saw too many family and friends ripped every direction there is from it. Not to mention stories from strangers. I just couldn't see the risk/reward being worth it. More power to those that have and make it work. But I'd rather be alone with my money and miserable than with someone without my money and even more miserable...

MGTOW?

 

[HawkGold]

Wow was this a 90 degree turn. I turned in my Dr Phil title.

Been married 34 years and married young. 6 kids. I can tell you I'm glad I had 6 because on any given day 2 of the six could make me real proud and 2 of the six make me ashamed and not always the same kids. The people in life that have hurt me the most often are my wife and kids. They have also given me the most joy. We've had ups and downs and at times wasn't sure we'd make it through financially or marriage wise. The wife still looks like a model (no kidding) and gets hits from other guys. Nobody would guess her age. She's been tempted.offered) by very successful men (works with doctors) but never succumbed. I know not everybody has that.

Through the ups and downs we finally both realized we were pulling differently for the same team. I would hate to go through the rest of life without her. We have a history. To me marriage is normal. Men do want to provide and protect. Kind of had to do when one has an easy way out if not married. Having different ways of seeing things is also normal as is healthy arguing (took a while to learn that one and keeping quiet isn't always the right answer).

It's been real enjoyable at times and really really hard at times. For me it's been quite worth it. Certain times of the month I'm not always very popular.

 

[ArvadaHawk]

Came on to read about Hunter Johnson and see a Dr. Phil segment is going on.

Well, I'm married. Sometimes things are good, sometimes not. Kinda like football.

that's marriage. snort, fart.

 

[Seth53]

If you go to Minnesota you get an OAR on your HELMET. Its like sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads. OARS ON YOUR HELMET. ROW IT BABY ROW THAT BOAT

Still looks like a tampon

 

[4thngoal]

Wow was this a 90 degree turn. I turned in my Dr Phil title.

Been married 34 years and married young. 6 kids. I can tell you I'm glad I had 6 because on any given day 2 of the six could make me real proud and 2 of the six make me ashamed and not always the same kids. The people in life that have hurt me the most often are my wife and kids. They have also given me the most joy. We've had ups and downs and at times wasn't sure we'd make it through financially or marriage wise. The wife still looks like a model (no kidding) and gets hits from other guys. Nobody would guess her age. She's been tempted.offered) by very successful men (works with doctors) but never succumbed. I know not everybody has that.

Through the ups and downs we finally both realized we were pulling differently for the same team. I would hate to go through the rest of life without her. We have a history. To me marriage is normal. Men do want to provide and protect. Kind of had to do when one has an easy way out if not married. Having different ways of seeing things is also normal as is healthy arguing (took a while to learn that one and keeping quiet isn't always the right answer).

It's been real enjoyable at times and really really hard at times. For me it's been quite worth it. Certain times of the month I'm not always very popular.

That's awesome. See it exists in the world.
Btw, doctors and lawyers (probably not a good thing to say on a u of i board are the worst.
#1 they have a God complex
#2 they are taught to compartmentalize.
Basically everything you have is exactly what they have been trained not to do. That's why they hire other people to actually care. (Doctors not lawyers).
I've known several fairly close and they are some of the most f'ed up people I have met and I have met a lot!!! Probably why most of them are on scrips or drink a lot.
So congrats on having one who wasn't dunb enough to fall for that load of ****.
I knew one that had his wife all doped up, but as long as the pills came, the maid and nanny came and she got to shop and have a new car, all was good. He was screwing everything in sight. He didn't divorce her for financial reasons. Just like the ones who offered your married wife, he didn't care about his relationship/ wife and he certainly didn't care about anyone elses. He just didn't care. Not about the way his kids were being brought up, none of it. Nobody was more important than him.
Now I'm not saying they are all like that, but many are.