DuffMan
Well-Known Member
True he's tall, but the underhanded delivery he used will make it touhgh to get it over the line.
Derby doesnt have the arm strenght or accuracy to play QB
- Thread starter DuffMan
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True he's tall, but the underhanded delivery he used will make it touhgh to get it over the line.
busabus114
Well-Known Member
Its amazing to me how some people cant understand the most obvious joke/sarcasm
Well played Duffman, great post
hawkeyescott
Well-Known Member
I don't think this is a joke, there is some serious concern about his arm and KF wanted him to play in a slow pitch softball league to build up some arm strength but it appears that might not be working.
whammer33024
Well-Known Member
hold on...is this ASA certified? because if it is, the height limit is 10 feet on a pitch. if he's throwing them 12 feet high, then not only does he have a really weak arm, but he's also a cheater. i don't think kirk has any room for him on the team. nice recruiting effort
tweeterhawk
Well-Known Member
A waste of a scholarship. Perhaps he could still walk on to the basketball team.
hawkeyescott
Well-Known Member
Good point, lets hope it doesn't get back to KF that Derby cheats.
tweeterhawk
Well-Known Member
Oh, geez. That's really gonna put the pressure on Norm's boys.
FromFry2Ferentz
Well-Known Member
I just wasted 5 minutes of my life that I will never get backs. Thanks duffman
DesMoinesHawki
Well-Known Member
Uhhh ... yeah
AcctHawk99
Well-Known Member
Got it. I'm fairly new to the forums so still picking up on poster's mannerisms.
One reason I was wrongly concerned is that I actually did have someone tell me they were worried about a now ex-hawkeye football player's upcoming season because of the way they played at a charity golf tournement in their home town so i was just hoping that this wasn't a repeat of that.
tweeterhawk
Well-Known Member
Alcohol at a softball game? I'm shocked. Shocked.
This is a bald-faced lie. Not the terrible at baketball part, but the excellent swimmer part.
I put a bucket of chicken down on the driveway and tested it's b-ball abilities:
1) Catch a pass - FAIL - Not only did the chicken not catch the pass, but it fell over and couldn't get back up. The ball rolled into the street.
2) Throw a Pass - FAIL - I gave the ball to the chicken (set it right on top) and asked for a pass. I was clearly wide open. The selfish bastard refued to pass the ball to me. It just sat there and ignored me.
3) Shooting - FAIL - Since the chicken wouldn't pass the ball, I asked it shoot a basket instead. At first, I thought it was going to ignore me again, so I went and "nudged it" a bit with my foot. After a second, the bucket fell over and the boll rolled down the driveway into the street. Stupid chicken, that was totally the wrong direction.
4) Defense - FAIL - I was able to score at will. It was like the chicken wasn't even trying. I'm pretty sure it fouled me several times too, but I didn't call it because it was a friendly game.
5) Rebounding - FAIL - The chicken failed to get a single rebound. It did get hit by the ball once and knocked over, but the lazy bastard didn't even bother to get back up.
6) Ally-Oop Dunk - FAIL - I got a friend to help me with this. He threw the bucket-o-chicken up, right in front of the basket, while I passed the ball. After a failed first attempt, where the chicken "jumped" into the bottom of the rim, the second attempt was right on que. The pass was perfect, right over the edge of the lip and in prime position for the dunk. The chicken, however, was not. It was too high, and the ball ended up hitting it toward the bottom, denting the bucket and sending it into a wild spin. In the end, both ball and chicken went rolling down the driveway (the ball went further, into the street again, of course). The bucket ended up with several large dents, and a good-sized tear where the bottom meets the sides. All of the chicken remained within the bucket, though.
Overall, the bucket-o-chicken was so bad as basketball, I'm not even sure it understands the game or what it is supposed to do.
After the awful performance at basketball, we took a break, during which much of the chicken disappeared. I'm not sure what happened. One minute we are sitting there with a cold beer, relaxing in the shade. The next thing I know, a bunch of the chicken is gone and my fingers are a bit greasy. Stupid bucket-o-chicken didn't even drink its beer before it left, so I finished it for him. I think it might have run away or something, afraid of the swimming portion. As it turned out, it had good reason to be afraid.
When it came time for the swimming test, there was a breast and two wings left (along with some wax paper and a crumpled up napkin). I put a band-aid over the tear, just in case. I believe that this is enough to prove the test valid.
We rowed out to the middle of the lake (me doing all the work, of course). I carefully explained that the chicken was to swim from the boat back to the shore. If it felt like it was in trouble, all it had to do was tell me and I would save it. Once we were ready, I put the lid back on and carefully set the bucket in the water. TOTAL FAIL. The bucket sat there for about 1/2 second, fell to one side, and disappeared in about 2.2 seconds, leaving nothing but a small swirl of water on the surface (and a floating band-aid). I tried called words of encouragement to it, but the bucket-o-chicken was never to be heard from again.
The band-aid was a good swimmer. The bucket-o-chicken - not so much. Perhaps we will have to see how the band-aid does at baketball...
whammer33024
Well-Known Member
i can't believe i just read all of that...man i'm bored at work, lol
tm3308
Well-Known Member
It's a joke lol. But I know what you mean about the difference between throwing a football and a baseball. I could throw a baseball fine, but I can't throw a football to save my life. The mechanics are way different. Football mechanics on the mound=short-arming the ball.
CalvaryHawk
Well-Known Member
When I was a kid, we used to pop the bottom out of the chicken bucket, tape it to the top of the door frame in our living room and use it for a Nerf hoop. (When we wanted something more authentic, we would scissor-cut the bottom of it to make it look more like an actual net.) Worked like a champ until somebody would decide to dunk, then the game was pretty much over.
-Greg
-Greg
