2starstan - SIAP

I would suggest that the guy retain OK4P but something tells me there would be a conflict of interest there.
 
Listen guys, sorry I haven't been on here sooner, but someone leaked to Gayle that I was reporting on our security here and he got super ****** at me because if the bad guys knew where are weak spots are it would make us more vulnerable to terroristism attacks. He took away my code red clarence for this week and he threatened to take me off gate duty and put me in the finkbine RV area. That's one of the worst assignments we got because you have to put up with all these jackwads who show up in their run down RV's and busses and think they deserve holly roller treatment because they and four buddies put some scratch together and bought a used school bus from a church.

That said even though I wasn't on the field I can tell you a little about this situation. The subject has been on our "ten most dangerous" hand out for over two years. Last year he was discovered getting onto the field after the game and when searched he was found to have a swiss army keychain knife on his possession, which in the right hands could cause countless casualights. He was told then if he was ever observed entering the field again we would have probably cause to take him down.

I spoke to one of the arresting agents who said they did everything they could to get the guy off the field piece fully but he refused to comply with agent instructions. They decided that due to his age they couldn't risk tasering him so the two agents on the seen did the safe thing and tackled him and lied on top of him using they're full body weights until he quit resisting. Then they transported him to the holding cell for transfer and transport.

The official report this AM said based on our complex formula based on statistical probability that arrest saved a 18 lives.
 
I think you meant "prolly cause". Thanks for keeping the piece Stan. You da man. Do you think you could get me Greenway's autograph. I know you probably keep in contact with former players. TIA.
 
We have a true patriot protecting us every Saturday and you are concerned with misspelled words? How about "thanks" instead?

As someone who puts my life on the line to protect Iowan's 7 Saturday's a year I appreciate your kind words. Have you ever thought of becoming a 2star? I assume your avatar is a picture of yourself, and that is one very good looking cop mustache you are sporting.
 
We have a true patriot protecting us every Saturday and you are concerned with misspelled words? How about "thanks" instead?

Nah, I'd rather have a patriot protecting us that knows what the word "peace" is. Seems like something that person should know.
 
As someone who puts my life on the line to protect Iowan's 7 Saturday's a year I appreciate your kind words. Have you ever thought of becoming a 2star? I assume your avatar is a picture of yourself, and that is one very good looking cop mustache you are sporting.

I don't have the mental toughness the job requires. I know once you put on that uniform it is like a magnet to the ladies. Well, I'm a married man. Drunk hot college chicks + 2 star uniform is not a good combo and I don't know how you guys do it. I know you would never "cop a feel" as they say trying to escort a young lady out of the stadium that had too much to drink. And what about the milfs around the stadium tailgating that just had some work done and now they want to show them to everyone? I'd be like "hey I like those" and then a terrorist sneaks right by me. No, I just don't have what it takes.
 
Nah, I'd rather have a patriot protecting us that knows what the word "peace" is. Seems like something that person should know.

Did Audie Murphy take a spelling test before taking on a whole company of Germans?

Did Chuck Norris have to show his grades before attacking the Japanese at Tae Kwon Do?

Did they diss Flying Tigers commander Claire Chennault for having a girl's name?

People like you disgust me. Get down on your knees, Mister, and thank God right now for patriots like these and 2 Star Stan.
 
Did Audie Murphy take a spelling test before taking on a whole company of Germans?

Did Chuck Norris have to show his grades before attacking the Japanese at Tae Kwon Do?

Did they diss Flying Tigers commander Claire Chennault for having a girl's name?

People like you disgust me. Get down on your knees, Mister, and thank God right now for patriots like these and 2 Star Stan.

Good. He doesn't even have red code clearance anymore. He's a wannabe.
 
I don't have the mental toughness the job requires. I know once you put on that uniform it is like a magnet to the ladies. Well, I'm a married man. Drunk hot college chicks + 2 star uniform is not a good combo and I don't know how you guys do it. I know you would never "cop a feel" as they say trying to escort a young lady out of the stadium that had too much to drink. And what about the milfs around the stadium tailgating that just had some work done and now they want to show them to everyone? I'd be like "hey I like those" and then a terrorist sneaks right by me. No, I just don't have what it takes.

You ain't kidding man. After the game on Saturday me and Gayle were running final security checks and found this girl passed out in the ladies room. We helped her get up and wash the puke and stuff from her hair and face and she was so greatful she offered to be in a three way with us. Too bad Gayle is such a stickler for the rules, he immediately called security and had her arrested. I hung out at the jail that evening hoping I could catch her on her way out to see if she was still interested in me but I didn't see her. She kept crying about how she was on probation and stuff so I'm guessing they didn't let her out.
 
Did Audie Murphy take a spelling test before taking on a whole company of Germans?

Did Chuck Norris have to show his grades before attacking the Japanese at Tae Kwon Do?

Did they diss Flying Tigers commander Claire Chennault for having a girl's name?

People like you disgust me. Get down on your knees, Mister, and thank God right now for patriots like these and 2 Star Stan.

You are really erudite.
 
Listen guys, sorry I haven't been on here sooner, but someone leaked to Gayle that I was reporting on our security here and he got super ****** at me because if the bad guys knew where are weak spots are it would make us more vulnerable to terroristism attacks. He took away my code red clarence for this week and he threatened to take me off gate duty and put me in the finkbine RV area. That's one of the worst assignments we got because you have to put up with all these jackwads who show up in their run down RV's and busses and think they deserve holly roller treatment because they and four buddies put some scratch together and bought a used school bus from a church.

That said even though I wasn't on the field I can tell you a little about this situation. The subject has been on our "ten most dangerous" hand out for over two years. Last year he was discovered getting onto the field after the game and when searched he was found to have a swiss army keychain knife on his possession, which in the right hands could cause countless casualights. He was told then if he was ever observed entering the field again we would have probably cause to take him down.

I spoke to one of the arresting agents who said they did everything they could to get the guy off the field piece fully but he refused to comply with agent instructions. They decided that due to his age they couldn't risk tasering him so the two agents on the seen did the safe thing and tackled him and lied on top of him using they're full body weights until he quit resisting. Then they transported him to the holding cell for transfer and transport.

The official report this AM said based on our complex formula based on statistical probability that arrest saved a 18 lives.

It's part of his roll to play a dumm cop want to be. I, four one, appresheate his sirvice to keep the piece. If only more sitizens wood bee more responsible, these guys lifes wood be much ezier. And with words like "terroristism" I think he could be related to Bush.
 
2starstan is the greatest screenname and poster we have had on this site. 2star has done a great job setting up the people on this site with his security/antiterrorism posts.

Of course, if 2star actually exists then he needs to be sent to Guantanamo Bay to help with national security.

From the article, it is nice to know that the Iowa's security guards are hard on the job or have a hard on for their job and are protecting and serving the Iowa community by tackling a 71 year old fan.
 

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