OFFICIAL FIRE TIM LESTER THREAD

MelroseHawkins said:
My brother-in-law once peed in the urinal next to Tiger Woods. This was when Tiger was just ramping up in the PGA and was at the John Deere Classic. He was doing his business and Tiger came in and dropped trow in the urinal next to him.
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Once, in Phoenix, I was at a Buffalo wild wings. I saw Mark Grace go into the bathroom, so naturally I followed him in. I broke all urinal etiquette and stood right next to him, nodded, and said "Mark", with a smooth head nod. I didn't even pee, just pretended. Creepiest thing I've ever done.
 
MursenarySkum said:
Once, in Phoenix, I was at a Buffalo wild wings. I saw Mark Grace go into the bathroom, so naturally I followed him in. I broke all urinal etiquette and stood right next to him, nodded, and said "Mark", with a smooth head nod. I didn't even pee, just pretended. Creepiest thing I've ever done.
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At least you didn't try to shake his hand. I have a funny Mark Grace story that is well known among Cubs fans.
Ironically, this peniz talk helped me think of it.

One game Greg Maddux was on the hump and pitching well. Mark Grace was covering first as he always had. He noticed Maddux walking around the pitching mound in a strained fashion, uncomfortable. Grace feared there was something wrong with him and approached Maddux at the mound, only to find Maddux in a state of ........ lets just say obvious physical "excitement". What's Grace's response being the quick witted guy he is ........................................"Man, you REALLY DO love to pitch, don't you.", then walked back to first.
 
MursenarySkum said:
Once, in Phoenix, I was at a Buffalo wild wings. I saw Mark Grace go into the bathroom, so naturally I followed him in. I broke all urinal etiquette and stood right next to him, nodded, and said "Mark", with a smooth head nod. I didn't even pee, just pretended. Creepiest thing I've ever done.
Click to expand...
MelroseHawkins said:
At least you didn't try to shake his hand. I have a funny Mark Grace story that is well known among Cubs fans.
Ironically, this peniz talk helped me think of it.

One game Greg Maddux was on the hump and pitching well. Mark Grace was covering first as he always had. He noticed Maddux walking around the pitching mound in a strained fashion, uncomfortable. Grace feared there was something wrong with him and approached Maddux at the mound, only to find Maddux in a state of ........ lets just say obvious physical "excitement". What's Grace's response being the quick witted guy he is ........................................"Man, you REALLY DO love to pitch, don't you.", then walked back to first.
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I'm a 3rd generation Braves fan and they will always be my main squeeze, but as a 43 year old I grew up watching the late 80s early 90s Cubbies games every day during the summer. Loved Harry Caray and loved those teams. Sandberg, Grace, Dawson, Dunston, Sutcliffe, Girardi, and then the lesser known players that were fan favorites like Jose Vizcaino, Mitch Williams, Doug Dascenzo, Paul Assenmacher, Mike Bielecki, Jerome Walton, Candy Maldanado...Mark Grace was the reason I picked the number 17 the entire time I played.

When I was a little kid it was better than it will ever be even if I win the Powerball.

Not a care in the world in the summer. I'd wake up and have lucky Charms for breakfast and watch cartoons, then around 9:30 I'd hop on my K-Mart bike with my glove on the handle bar and go play town rec league ball for a couple hours, then come home and watch Steve Stone and Harry Caray call a Cubbies day game. After that go goof of with my friends till supper time, and after supper I'd watch the Braves with my old man on TBS at night and go to bed. Do it all over again the next day. God do I miss my folks and being a kid. Holy shit. All the money in the world couldn't give me that feeling again.
 
MursenarySkum said:
Once, in Phoenix, I was at a Buffalo wild wings. I saw Mark Grace go into the bathroom, so naturally I followed him in. I broke all urinal etiquette and stood right next to him, nodded, and said "Mark", with a smooth head nod. I didn't even pee, just pretended. Creepiest thing I've ever done.
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Big mistake. That was a prime opportunity for you to use my favorite urinal humor, which is to go wide stance, as a show of your alpha-ness, and then you say "nice watch." The best is when they aren't wearing a watch.
 
NCHawker said:
how would yo like to share a classic movie line or dialogue from a movie. And maybe even ask the forum to name the movie

Some are so obvious that they’re no fun- You're gonna need a bigger boat.” -Jaws, 1975

But the good stuff are from your favorite movies
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"The Nazis had pieces of flare they made the Jews wear."

I can't help but think of this line every time I watch my kids walk to school with various adornments hanging all over their backpacks; there might be something wrong with my brain.
 
If I could go back in time…..


I’d find the individual who first put raisins into cookies and talk them out of it.

I’d find whoever invented tight spandex yoga pants and shake his hand

I’d punch whoever first said “my bad” and whomever used the word disrespect as a verb
 
At a bar down in Dallas
An old man chimed in
And I thought he
Was out of his head

Being a young man
I just laughed it off
When I heard what
That old man had said

He said, I'll never again
Turn the young ladies heads
Or go running off into the wind

I'm three quarters home
From the start to the end
And I wish I was eighteen again

I wish I was eighteen again
And going where I've never been
But old folks and old oaks
Standing tall just pretend
I wish I was eighteen again

Now time turns the pages
And, oh, life goes so fast
The years turn the
Black hair all grey

I talked to some young folks
Hey, they don't understand
The words this old man's got to say

I wish I was eighteen again
And going where I've never been
But old folks and old oaks
Standing tall just pretend
I wish I was eighteen again

Lord, I wish I was eighteen again
 
How do I know my years are all spent
My get up and go has got up and went
in spite of it all i'm still able to grin
to think of the places my got up and go has got up and been.
 
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