GhostofBTT
Banned
It’s not your fault James.
Nothing in Keokuk can prepare you to have the weight of our obese state on your shoulders. The biggest challenge you faced as a youth was telling your friends to stop staring at your mom’s bra strap. You dominated South East Iowa high school football because it’s South East Iowa football. What could have possibly prepared you for the glare of the MUSCO spotlight? We desperately wanted an Iowan to lead Iowa to glory. Texans and Ohioans (Ohioees?) are fine for a while, but we needed one of our own to lead us to the promised land. Having a guy from Ohio as our QB is kind of like having a Japanese guy as the Grand Marshall of the St. Patrick’s Day parade. We put all of that pressure on your shoulders James, and it wasn’t fair. People who make 4 million dollars a year can’t take that pressure. Why did we think you could.
It’s not your fault James.
They call you a coward. They say you’re too scared. That you’ve lost your confidence. I don’t believe it. You shot a bear with an arrow. That shows me you’re brave and confident. If you’re willing to sit out in the woods and challenge a 400lbs killing machine with a weapon invented 10,000 years ago, I’d say you have some confidence. I sure as hell am not going to do it, one, because it sounds boring, and second, I do not want to be mauled by a monster that can climb faster than it can run. But you did. If your shot missed and you hit that bear in the ***, it could have turned around and ripped your arms out of the socket and flossed with them while you bled out. Yet, this is the guy who lost his confidence? Seems unlikely to me.
It’s not your fault James.
When a square peg doesn’t fit into a round hole, we don’t blame the peg. You blame the stupid toddler trying to force something to do what it was not built to do. Greg Davis is that toddler. You were blessed with certain gifts James. A strong arm was one of them. Quick feet were not. Yet, we have a coach who insists that instead of doing what you do best, you do it his way. His way is ridiculous. Putting you in a horizontal passing game is like putting a Banjo in a smooth jazz ensemble. You’re Nolan Ryan, bringing the heat every pitch. Greg wants you to be Greg Maddox, nibbling the edges. When you start nibbling the edges, fingers get broken. Asking you to throw slower is like asking Ronald McDonald for a wine list.
It’s not your fault James.
Your stable of running backs looks like the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan. Charlie Sheen thinks your offensive line needs to act more consistently. Your receivers drop the ball like it’s a turd with laces flying at them. No wonder you can’t perform like you want to. It doesn’t matter if you have Meryl Streep playing Lady MacBeth, if you fill out the cast with the gang from the Jersey Shore, the results are going to be awful. You’re the one who gets the blame because you’re the last man standing. They want you on the bench for the back up. What’s he going to do? Suddenly make an unintuitive and illogical offense work? You can’t put a puzzle together when someone takes all the pieces and burns them into ash. Peyton Manning couldn’t make this offense work. The only thing we’re going to see after benching you will be pick sixes and people eating crow.
It’s not your fault James.
It’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault.
©Ghost & Co. 2012
