Sorry to continue to poke fun, I know you said this partly in jest, but it really is freaky how athletic this dude is.
He is 200 lbs and heading to the state meet with the top marks in his class in all 3 individual events he will be competing in (100m, 200m, and LG).
His top LJ of the year would have finished 5th at the just-completed outdoor B1G men's championships.
His 100m time (10.71) is not quite as strong, but he wouldn't have been out of place running with the B1G boys at Champaign (that time would have been 20 out of 27 competitors). Again, that is at 200 lbs.