Brian Ferentz, Phil Parker Press Conference Transcripts

Here are a few of the fabulous responses from the press conference. This has to be astoundingly frustrating for reporters trying to get some substantive football answers or information.

How does anyone read this crap and not think the guy is either Crazy Bob Diaco or some really, really bad life coach stealing your money?


"...when the games were close, we found a way to win those games, and I don’t know if there’s a metric to measure that,”

"I just think it comes down to playing good football and executing at the level you’re capable of executing at, whatever that is."

"At the end of the day, the No. 1 metric we’re looking at to figure out if we’re where we need to be offensively is are we winning games or are we losing them,”

"The main thing is just trying to do a better job of putting our football team in a position to be successful and to have a chance to succeed."

"I think the biggest thing for me is learning how to do a better job of maximizing the role I’m in now because it was new to me a year ago."

"You can look at a thousand things, but I think at the end of the day, what you’re trying to do is make sure you’re doing things you need to do to win ballgames."

"What do we need to do? We need to be consistent. We need to execute at a high level."

"...just trying to make sure that we’re using the right pieces the best way that we can and trying to give ourselves a chance to win."
Yeah, but if you just listen to brown nosing Leistikow, it'll all make perfect sense. Huckleberry knows what he's talkin bout!
 
I forgot about this one. It's even funnier when you watch the video.

“I’m watching Star Wars with my son the other day, and I would use this analogy,” Ferentz said. “OK, when you’re in the Wisconsin game, it’s like you’re the pilot of that little sad rebel ship at the opening of Star Wars. Darth Vader’s Star Destroyer is closing on that ship, right. That’s what the Wisconsin game feels like. But if it’s the Ohio State game or the Nebraska game, then you’re Luke Skywalker making the trench run in the Death Star. Everything is going to go right, don’t worry about it. Use The Force, Luke, you’ll be all right; call whatever you want."
 
I forgot about this one. It's even funnier when you watch the video.

“I’m watching Star Wars with my son the other day, and I would use this analogy,” Ferentz said. “OK, when you’re in the Wisconsin game, it’s like you’re the pilot of that little sad rebel ship at the opening of Star Wars. Darth Vader’s Star Destroyer is closing on that ship, right. That’s what the Wisconsin game feels like. But if it’s the Ohio State game or the Nebraska game, then you’re Luke Skywalker making the trench run in the Death Star. Everything is going to go right, don’t worry about it. Use The Force, Luke, you’ll be all right; call whatever you want."
In other words "at times we game planned and executed and a high rate and at other times we didn't. I understand my role in that and we are emphasizing to the team what their part in both cases was. I suspect from new coaches, me being new at my position and some guys playing their first year, there was going to be a learning curve. We all reconize this, and own up to our responsibility in winning as well as losing ball games."
Drops mic, presser over. Lol
 
In other words "at times we game planned and executed and a high rate and at other times we didn't. I understand my role in that and we are emphasizing to the team what their part in both cases was. I suspect from new coaches, me being new at my position and some guys playing their first year, there was going to be a learning curve. We all reconize this, and own up to our responsibility in winning as well as losing ball games."
Drops mic, presser over. Lol
Or maybe this...

 
While we're on this subject, can we get rid of those ridiculous end of the half interviews where the interviewer ends up following the coach three fourths of the way to the locker room?

No coach is going to say anything of value at that moment and few are in the mood to do it. And the sideline reporter isn't going to ask anything of substance anyway.

I think the networks are simply looking for the opportunity to get a coach to lose his composure so that they have a story on their hands. Basketball isn't any better, either. Most of those coaches look like their training for the Boston Marathon when the microphone gets stuck in their face at that moment.

Agree to disagree!

 
Agree to disagree!

That's why I loved the meltdown Brian had.
It shows passion.
I don't care about swear words, I mean he wasn't on the pa or anything.
Actually the truth is never as crystal clear as when a person is in meltdown mode.
Melt downs over little things is to extreme, but when the situation calls for it and a person doesn't, I get a little suspicious.
 
That's why I loved the meltdown Brian had.
It shows passion.
I don't care about swear words, I mean he wasn't on the pa or anything.
Actually the truth is never as crystal clear as when a person is in meltdown mode.
Melt downs over little things is to extreme, but when the situation calls for it and a person doesn't, I get a little suspicious.
I love the meltdowns, they show passion and are entertaining to boot!
 
I love the meltdowns, they show passion and are entertaining to boot!
Well if you can't get worked up over something unjust, unfair or otherwise wrong, then I really can't have much respect for a person like that.
Sure it's a game. Sure some calls go your way and others don't. But being firm in what is right is never a fault.
 
The guy is Kirk Ferentz, Bob Diaco, and Jim Harbaugh all rolled into one.

Not once in that entire transcript does he mention one thing substantive to football. The whole thing can be summarized by, "We need to get better and fix our weak spots." Well...no shit, man.

100% psychobabble that sounds philosophical and intelligent, but in reality is totally incoherent. It's an easy way to,

1) respond to criticism by being vague and confusing, at the same time not having to answer a question, and

2) try to hide the fact that you have no f'ing clue what you're talking about.

It's nothing more than dancing around questions using vague, rambling metaphors. Google "fedspeak." Greenspan was a master of it.

Now listen to Phil Parker. It's the complete opposite. He talks about individual players, and positions, what they need to do to get better, what he needs to do, etc...the mechanics and specifics of football. Because he knows the game and is intelligent enough not to have to sit there and give you canned, vague answers that are more at home on motivational posters.

Yeah, Brian doesn't know shit about the game. Playing it, coaching it, living with since birth. Spot on :eek:
 
Agree to disagree!


Smith wasn't in the mood to get the mic shoved in his face, but he definitely said something of value.

I remember that game and was considering mentioning it. I don't even have to watch it. This is what Smith said

"The kids are busting their tails, and the coaches are screwing it up"

Now I'll watch it and see how close I was!

I think it was one of those games where Michigan State was dominating time of possession and the physical aspect but Ohio State was hanging close with a couple special teams plays. Kind of like Purdue-Iowa 2002, one of the few games Iowa had to steal that year. I think one of those special teams gaffes happened just before halftime.
 
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I remember that game and was considering mentioning it. I don't even have to watch it. This is what Smith said

"The kids are busting their tails, and the coaches are screwing it up"

Now I'll watch it and see how close I was!

I think it was one of those games where Michigan State was dominating time of possession and the physical aspect but Ohio State was hanging close with a couple special teams plays. Kind of like Purdue-Iowa 2002, one of the few games Iowa had to steal that year. I think one of those special teams gaffes happened just before halftime.

Why would you mention it?
This is a bash on Brian thread.
But seriously dude, that was epic.
Most award winning and weird presser ever!!
I have faith in him though, who gives a crap if he let's his weird out? It's ok, come on out!!
But we are here to win football games. I don't think he has lost sight of that. I think he understands that fully.
 
Read Phil's transcript or watch the video on YouTube.

Any of James Franklin's pressers.

Any of Luke Walton's pressers if you don't want to stick to football.

There's some examples, need more?

Not really, since I have heard about 5 times that many coaches on Sirius XM and have concluded that they all sound eerily similar.
 
I absolutely loved his comment about catch me after a few beers and I will probably have a more philosophical answer for you.
He gets it.
He's just like a teenager at prom.
You don't have to over reach dude, just be you.
 
Who's improving, who's maybe not so much.

What he's doing to avoid yet another year of crap offense. Except for "We need to get better" ad nauseum.

How he's going to handle another year of not having a WR corps.

How the scheme might or should be different to adapt to weak receiving and a greenhorn OL.

How a 2 TE set might look or operate with Fant and Hockensen. (Hint, he got asked that by Land of 10 and completely went on an unrelated tangent)

Check out this gem:



Jesus Christ man, are you kidding me, @HuckFinn? The number one metric if we're where we need to be is if we're winning games or losing them? You'll get a smarter football answer out of a third grader.

Your comment 1: He is fully aware that the players will read his comments, so he is cautious. I would be, too.
Your comment 2: I would suggest it would be pretty silly for him to say, "I am going to improve my crap offense by..." Furthermore, I think he talked extensively about his lack of experience and mentioned several things that he hopes to improve on. Did you read his comments?
Your comment 3: I would not be so sure he does not have an improved wide receiver corps. What should he say: I have the same crappy receivers I had last year, so it sucks.
On the TE stuff: We have great tight ends, probably some of the best in the country. He used them very well last year, for the most part, but not all. He coached tight ends for one of the most demanding coaches in the NFL and now will be working directly with Iowa's tight ends and turn over the RB's to someone else.
On the "are you kidding me": You are just plain dumb if you think that even though it is obvious, BF is making the message loud and clear for both the fans and his players. That is exactly what he should be doing. You would probably have a heart attack if he did not make it clear that wins are the only metric that counts, since you are always preaching to the choir about that in your posts.

So, there you go. Just so you will remember: I have said from the outset that BF will either prove that he can have Iowa playing better offense, or he needs to be replaced, even though you and I will not get to vote.
 
You look at what KOK is getting paid, it's obvious he is thought of almost as a co-OC and mentor to Brian.

Brian can choose to take his advice or ignore it but it's pretty clear that's why KOK is here. To train Brian how to be an OC

I think it would have been much more beneficial for us to have had an actual job search for a highly qualified OC that has actually had an OC job don't you? We're talking about the coaches son being allowed to learn on the job like its a friggin plumbing apprenticeship. Let that sink in for a minute. Only at Iowa is this allowed to happen. BF sounds like someone that is completely clueless and is in way over his head.
 
Your comment 1: He is fully aware that the players will read his comments, so he is cautious. I would be, too.
Your comment 2: I would suggest it would be pretty silly for him to say, "I am going to improve my crap offense by..." Furthermore, I think he talked extensively about his lack of experience and mentioned several things that he hopes to improve on. Did you read his comments?
Your comment 3: I would not be so sure he does not have an improved wide receiver corps. What should he say: I have the same crappy receivers I had last year, so it sucks.
On the TE stuff: We have great tight ends, probably some of the best in the country. He used them very well last year, for the most part, but not all. He coached tight ends for one of the most demanding coaches in the NFL and now will be working directly with Iowa's tight ends and turn over the RB's to someone else.
On the "are you kidding me": You are just plain dumb if you think that even though it is obvious, BF is making the message loud and clear for both the fans and his players. That is exactly what he should be doing. You would probably have a heart attack if he did not make it clear that wins are the only metric that counts, since you are always preaching to the choir about that in your posts.

So, there you go. Just so you will remember: I have said from the outset that BF will either prove that he can have Iowa playing better offense, or he needs to be replaced, even though you and I will not get to vote.
I said in another post. We can score points on anyone. Can we get off the field on 3rd? That is a question.
I don't like shoot out games. I want to know that I can shut a MF down.
 
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