OFFICIAL FIRE TIM LESTER THREAD

I heard 3 things about him:

1) puts toilet paper roll into the despenser upside down
2) does not squeeze toothpaste from the end-up for best results
3) puts glassees into pantry right side up instead of upside down.
OMG!
 
I also a little extra salt to the chicken meat. Salt and chicken go hand in hand. Now after salting dip just meat of the chicken in the ketchup.

I also like green onion and radish sandwiches on two buttered pieces of bread. Of course salt is involved with that as well. Absolutely divine.
I want to know if he likes oyster stew. He better…
 
Gentlemen and Ladies, you're obviously going to be posting about new recipes fall of 2024. not necessarily about the task at hand, getting the offense for Iowa above 80th in the statistics. I will check back, when the temps get below 50 next Fall, looking forward to some creative crock pot chili recipes.
 
Throwing my hat in the ring and calling out his gambling problem right now so you all see I was right when he gets Larry Eustachied over Christmas break next year for being caught on snapchat tipping over a Prairie Meadows ATM in a drunken rage after both his horses come in 12th and 19th respectively.

Snapchat is so 9/10.
It's all TikTok these days.
 
I actually like chicken and ketchup together. Not so much wings as they have their own sauce. But a nice piece of fried chicken is superb dipping in ketchup.

Ketchup is the perfect food.
Heinz knows this. Their ketchup is engineered to deliver maximum levels of sweet, sour, bitter, salty, and umami/savory. The 5 tastes. Scientifically guaranteed to be delicious if you can maximize all 5 and Heinz does it to perfection.

I'm a condiment guy. And I love ketchup. I will put it on a hot dog in the middle of Michigan Ave. in Chicago and wave it around for all to see.

But I won't put it on chicken. That's weird. Or eggs. Cause that's weirder. And eggs are just pre-chickenses.

Also...I really love this board. I just can't quit you all. You bunch of weirdos. This thread is sublime.
 
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I got some black truffle ketchup as a gift, that is pretty good stuff.

Where do people stand on Sriracha? Seems like a lot of people love to dump on it since it became popular, but for my money, that is still an excellent condiment. Sambal oelek is great if you can find it, but if not, Sriracha adds a great flavor.

Huy Fong Sambal Oelek is a necessary staple for a well stocked kitchen. Sriracha is a terrible substitute for it.

Hey O'Keefe, do you know of any great recipes with sambal oelek? Yes, yes I do. Look up Ma Yi Shang Shu and use mung bean noodles and twice the recommended amount of sambal oelek. It is the best gluten free noodle dish out there.

But I digress. FIRE TIM LESTER
 
Ketchup is the perfect food.
Heinz knows this. Their ketchup is engineered to deliver maximum levels of sweet, sour, bitter, salty, and umami/savory. The 5 tastes. Scientifically guaranteed to be delicious if you can maximize all 5 and Heinz does it to perfection.

I'm a condiment guy. And I love ketchup. I will put it on a hot dog in the middle of Michigan Ave. I'm Chicago and wave it around for all to see.

But I won't put it on chicken. That's weird. Or eggs. Cause that's weirder. And eggs are just pre-chickenses.

Also...I really love this board. I just can't quit you all. You bunch of weirdos. This thread is sublime.
What book was the Heinz analysis in? Maybe by Malcolm Gladwell? That chapter was fascinating.
 
Honest to the good Lord above, I just made Oyster Stew on New Years Day. Not kidding.

I also like oysters on the half shell.
For whatever reason, I can’t do the half shell thing. I had to take out a home equity loan to buy oysters for stew this year.
 
For whatever reason, I can’t do the half shell thing. I had to take out a home equity loan to buy oysters for stew this year.
I actually got mine from Walmart as they seemed more reasonable. I wanted just a little more than what came in the container so supplemented with a can of oysters which actually wasn't too bad. They tasted fine and blend in great with the others. They weren't really small. I didn't want two pints but just a bit more.

I've never really made oyster stew a whole lot. I really liked what I made. I added some diced celery and some diced fried bacon to the stew. It really topped it off. Not too much bacon where it took it over but just enough to accent it. I think it was only 3-4 slices that cooked up kind of crisp than diced up. Oh, I also added just a little potato, maybe 1 small or medium and chunked it up. Again, not too much to take over from the oysters.

No ketchup was added!!
 
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Huy Fong Sambal Oelek is a necessary staple for a well stocked kitchen. Sriracha is a terrible substitute for it.

Hey O'Keefe, do you know of any great recipes with sambal oelek? Yes, yes I do. Look up Ma Yi Shang Shu and use mung bean noodles and twice the recommended amount of sambal oelek. It is the best gluten free noodle dish out there.

But I digress. FIRE TIM LESTER
Now I have to Google two things from this.

I do have a great Asian market just down from work in Iowa City. I may just have to do this. Txs.
 
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Now I have to Google two things from this.

I do have a great Asian market just down from work in Iowa City. I may just have to do this. Txs.

You have to get Huy Fong. There are others but I have tried two and found them to be light on spice and light on sour. Ma Yi Shang Shu is insanely easy to make and I make it a few times a year when I have people over and they say it is better than most Chinese restaurant food. Kids don't like it, but if you like Sichuan style with a nice blend of spicy and sour (a very solid combination in bitter midwest winters) this thing is the ticket.
 
FIRE TIM LESTER.

Anyway, bince we have covered condiments somewhat, let us move on to salt or dry spice enhancers.

I had a period where everything I ate had to have Lawry's on it. Then Tony Catchaterorieri's stuff. Then I went Krazy Salt. Now I don't have such taste requirements but I was curious if anyone has any dry stuff they use or recommend (dry rubs for ribs/shoulder/meat smoking will have to wait until we get closer to full smoking season in March).

One dry spice that I highly recommend is a Japanese spice called Shichimi Togarashi or Nanami Togarashi, if you need a brand name go with S&B Nanami Togarashi (disclaimer, my brother in law works for S&B in Tokyo but I am not compensated for this post). This dates back to Japan's exploits across Southeast Asia centuries ago and they concocted what I believe to be an absolutely perfect dry pepper spice blend with 7 ingredients. Ma makes an Asian dish at least twice a week and this stuff added to even cheap Maruchan ramen with a medium boiled egg on top will sing. If there's any interest I could turn this into a bit of a blog on how to work some Asian dishes into your weekly cooking rotation - I find the oil quality used at many of those establishments to be subpar and have spent twenty plus years of my marriage honing recipes that work for both me and my wife, which is no small task, but they bring plenty of flavor with healthy ingredients.

I want to make sure we generate plenty of content on this thread so that when Tim Lester gets fired we can all come back and go through this thread and wonder how the hell it got to 458 pages in length.
 
And if I turn this into my food blog, I need to know one thing: Do most of you guys have meat slicers at home or should I assume that only freaks like me have a home meat slicer? If you live in a huge city like Chicago with a really high concentration of actual Asian supermarkets you won't need a meat slicer because you can buy properly prepped meat at those places, but when I moved to Cackalack after being in Chicagoland I had to get a meat slicer because I can't find the proper cuts and even the butchers are hit or miss with special requests if they don't know what you're trying to make, which most don't. I suspect anyone living in Iowa is constrained with the same limitation.
 
FIRE TIM LESTER.

Anyway, bince we have covered condiments somewhat, let us move on to salt or dry spice enhancers.

I had a period where everything I ate had to have Lawry's on it. Then Tony Catchaterorieri's stuff. Then I went Krazy Salt. Now I don't have such taste requirements but I was curious if anyone has any dry stuff they use or recommend (dry rubs for ribs/shoulder/meat smoking will have to wait until we get closer to full smoking season in March).

One dry spice that I highly recommend is a Japanese spice called Shichimi Togarashi or Nanami Togarashi, if you need a brand name go with S&B Nanami Togarashi (disclaimer, my brother in law works for S&B in Tokyo but I am not compensated for this post). This dates back to Japan's exploits across Southeast Asia centuries ago and they concocted what I believe to be an absolutely perfect dry pepper spice blend with 7 ingredients. Ma makes an Asian dish at least twice a week and this stuff added to even cheap Maruchan ramen with a medium boiled egg on top will sing. If there's any interest I could turn this into a bit of a blog on how to work some Asian dishes into your weekly cooking rotation - I find the oil quality used at many of those establishments to be subpar and have spent twenty plus years of my marriage honing recipes that work for both me and my wife, which is no small task, but they bring plenty of flavor with healthy ingredients.

I want to make sure we generate plenty of content on this thread so that when Tim Lester gets fired we can all come back and go through this thread and wonder how the hell it got to 458 pages in length.
Tajín, Old Bay, and Black pepper are the only three spices that exist.
 
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