Give us a funny in-stadium story

Seth53

Well-Known Member
Spin-off of the crappy neighbors thread.

What's been a humorous, WTF moment you've had watching Iowa FB, either home or away.

Looking forward to the stories!
 
Spin-off of the crappy neighbors thread.

What's been a humorous, WTF moment you've had watching Iowa FB, either home or away.

Looking forward to the stories!

I'm sure many will outdo this one, and I look forward to the stories. I was at the Metrodump when Iowa fans were warned by the officials for too much noise when the Goofs had the ball. And I was at the Metrodump when Iowa fans ripped down the goalposts in 2002--my brother helped get that upright out into the concourse. But perhaps the most random funny story I have comes from 1993, when I was in Kinnick for the Minny-Iowa game. Got good seats that year by going through the Gophers ticket office and discovered that we were sitting among a bunch of Gopher season ticket holders and parents two to three times our age. Thought maybe we'd have to be quiet and polite, but when I laughed at some of the throws that the Goofer quarterback made, it only encouraged the Gopher fans to rain criticism on Jim Wacker. They yelled, "Do you love your nephew? You're SUCH a good uncle!" The QB, Tim Schade, was Wacker's nephew. The Goofs scored three points and I think Schade threw three or four picks before being pulled. I don't remember who the Goofer parents and fans thought should have been under center, but it definitely wasn't the nephew.

Not a memorable season for either team, but a unique memory among the games I've seen.
 
First game after the Kinnick South end zone renovation (2006 I believe). Hot as hell...opening day. Strolled through the South End zone concourse on the way out to check it out and ducked into the bathroom...SW corner, right in the student section.

There was a kid (looked like a typical Freshman) who was just puking his guts out with a couple of cops hanging on to him...he's a complete mess,red-faced, sweaty, puke everywhere. He takes a break and as he stands up and looks around another student shouts..."DUDE, this place was brand new! THIS is why we can't have nice things!" Everybody including the cops cracked up.
 
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At the infamous flyover game I had gone hoarse by the 4th quarter. I didn't want to leave and go buy a $10 water so I asked the lady behind me if I could have a drink of hers. She obliges and hands me the bottle. I take the cap off and do the sanitary thing by not pressing it against my lips. I tip it back back and I got a big mouth full of cheap vodka.

I spit up some out of sheer surprise but did drink most of it.
 
well at the famous drew tate capital one bowl after eating our tics and buying 50 yard line seats from a scallper, we found ourselves 8 rows behind the lsu bench surrounded by purple and yellow. after passing out the whole third and 4th quarter I woke my buddy up to watch the final play. after the ensuing touchdown he did a half jump half stumble and took out about 4 rows of lsu fans in front of us adding insult to injury not only did they just lose the game but got pancacked by my 280 pound friend. now they are all pissed cussing, hitting, kicking! as i drug him off of them and out of the section we let them them all have one last GO HAWKS **** lsu! im suprised we got out alive!
 
My first game many years ago....the middle aged woman behind me kept messing with the curls of my bright blond hair. It was creepy, not funny though. Loved the way the stadium would erupt when the ISU Nebraska scores were announced at something like 56-0...at half. Not sure it was ever that lopsided but it is a memory. Kirk killed the ISU hate.
 
It was the 2003 home game against Penn State. I was one of 5 people who dressed as Herky during this time and my assignment for this game was to work the pregame/tailgate festivities. We made our rounds to all of the tailgate spots and finally ended up at the dental lot. As I was doing my rounds (shaking hands, signing autographs, and taking pictures), I came up to a group of alums in their mid-late 40's thoroughly enjoying their tailgate (they were hammered). They called me over for some photo ops and to hang around for a second. One of the women in the group (a complete cougar) says,"I heard Herky was a girl. Are you a guy or girl?" Being a mascot, I can't speak. So I pantomime to the best of my ability that I was a guy by flexing my muscles. She just looked at me befuddled and asked what the hell I was doing. So, I took it a step further utilizing my arm to portray an embellished member and swung it between my legs to blatantly show I was a guy. Not very PG, I know. All the guys cracked up, but she still didn't get it. So she goes all Crocodile Dundee on me and just grabs my crotch. "Oh! Herky is a guy!"
 
I'm sure many will outdo this one, and I look forward to the stories. I was at the Metrodump when Iowa fans were warned by the officials for too much noise when the Goofs had the ball. And I was at the Metrodump when Iowa fans ripped down the goalposts in 2002--my brother helped get that upright out into the concourse. But perhaps the most random funny story I have comes from 1993, when I was in Kinnick for the Minny-Iowa game. Got good seats that year by going through the Gophers ticket office and discovered that we were sitting among a bunch of Gopher season ticket holders and parents two to three times our age. Thought maybe we'd have to be quiet and polite, but when I laughed at some of the throws that the Goofer quarterback made, it only encouraged the Gopher fans to rain criticism on Jim Wacker. They yelled, "Do you love your nephew? You're SUCH a good uncle!" The QB, Tim Schade, was Wacker's nephew. The Goofs scored three points and I think Schade threw three or four picks before being pulled. I don't remember who the Goofer parents and fans thought should have been under center, but it definitely wasn't the nephew.

Not a memorable season for either team, but a unique memory among the games I've seen.

I went to the Minny-Iowa game in 2008 - the final Goof game in the dome. My GF at the time knew someone from Minneapolis who got us tickets. Of course they were smack dab in the middle of the Minny season ticket section. Lots of old folks around us, all Goofer fans. If you remember the game, it was a bloodbath. A lot of them started trickling out in the 2nd quarter but what really sent them heading to the exits was the Spievey pick 6 to end the half. By the end of the 3rd quarter, the whole section was just Hawk fans. 55-0 final. Good times.
 
Last year against Michigan. Wife and I get to our seats in south endzone. Big Michigan dude and his girl were already jawing with Iowa fans. I was fairly buzzed up and wasn't going to listen to it, so I stepped down a couple of rows and told him to cool his sh*t and have a little respect, since he was a visitor in our house. All was fine and he chilled a bit.

Well as you recall the game wasn't going their way. Halfway through the 3rd or 4th qtr, he must have called an older woman some type of insult a row in front of him. Little did he know, that her two sons were there with her. They proceeded to turn back and starting throwing punches. There was hair pulling and all kinds of scuffling going on. Michigan dudes girl had half of her hair pulled out. They were quickly escorted out by highway patrol officers working the game.

I've got a lot of typical tailgate stories of drunken stupidity.
 
First game after the Kinnick South end zone renovation (2006 I believe). Hot as hell...opening day. Strolled through the South End zone concourse on the way out to check it out and ducked into the bathroom...SW corner, right in the student section.

There was a kid (looked like a typical Freshman) who was just puking his guts out with a couple of cops hanging on to him...he's a complete mess,red-faced, sweaty, puke everywhere. He takes a break and as he stands up and looks around another student shouts..."DUDE, this place was brand new! THIS is why we can't have nice things!" Everybody including the cops cracked up.
Yep, Montana. Was there. Didn't see that guy, but saw a couple others puking.
 
At the infamous flyover game I had gone hoarse by the 4th quarter. I didn't want to leave and go buy a $10 water so I asked the lady behind me if I could have a drink of hers. She obliges and hands me the bottle. I take the cap off and do the sanitary thing by not pressing it against my lips. I tip it back back and I got a big mouth full of cheap vodka.

I spit up some out of sheer surprise but did drink most of it.


Classic! That there is funny.
 
It was the 2003 home game against Penn State. I was one of 5 people who dressed as Herky during this time and my assignment for this game was to work the pregame/tailgate festivities. We made our rounds to all of the tailgate spots and finally ended up at the dental lot. As I was doing my rounds (shaking hands, signing autographs, and taking pictures), I came up to a group of alums in their mid-late 40's thoroughly enjoying their tailgate (they were hammered). They called me over for some photo ops and to hang around for a second. One of the women in the group (a complete cougar) says,"I heard Herky was a girl. Are you a guy or girl?" Being a mascot, I can't speak. So I pantomime to the best of my ability that I was a guy by flexing my muscles. She just looked at me befuddled and asked what the hell I was doing. So, I took it a step further utilizing my arm to portray an embellished member and swung it between my legs to blatantly show I was a guy. Not very PG, I know. All the guys cracked up, but she still didn't get it. So she goes all Crocodile Dundee on me and just grabs my crotch. "Oh! Herky is a guy!"


That Lois.
 
I had seats in the SW corner of the end zone in a very little pie shaped section. Right behind the handicap people. (they never stand up- great tickets). Well the couple beside had been there for years also. The woman was 2 seats or more wide and always really made it a tight fit for the whole (short ) row. I ordered seat backs the first year you could. First game the woman is bitching up a storm even before the game. I simply said to her the seat back is my seat- get off it. She complained to the husband. I chatted briefly with him. He changed seats with her and she never returned and suddenly there was plenty of room in the row.
 
2007 Albert Young/Damien Simms 1-2 punch at RB. Simms would often come in after Albert had worn down the defense and rip off a long run.

I honestly don't remember whether it happened against Illinois or Minnesota...but there was a mouthy visitor in our section. Iowa has the ball, right in front of us. Young goes out ...Simms comes in. I was a little lubed up myself, so I stood up and yelled at the guy... "Look out...#28 is going all the way, watch him....he's gonna take it to the house"...etc etc.

The guy turns and yells back at me, "yeah bull****, if he does...I'll leave". Needless to say...Simms takes the handoff, finds a slot on the left side, jukes the weakside linebacker and goes 60 yards untouched for the TD. The entire section started razing the guy....yelling "BYE BYE!!!"...and waving him out. The guy finally got up with his girlfriend and left because the taunting was so relentless. His girlfriend was berating him the whole way for opening his mouth.... the crowd loved it.
 
The 2002 game in the metrodome. My friend played college football at Marshall and they had to play a game in the dome later that afternoon. So we came back to the stadium and there was iowa stuff laying all over the place and they had to setup makeshift goalposts since we tore them down earlier in the day. Pretty funny stuff.

Some game in 2001. I was in college with my buddy and his future wife in the student section. We snuck in whiskey like always and his wife got caught by security and thrown out. The security asks my buddy if hes with her and he's like yeah so they throw him out too. The security guard then looks at me and asks me the same question and I said "never seen them in my life". Everyone around me busted out laughing because we were passing out shots all day to everyone and then I watched the rest of the game by myself. Obviously you had to be there. Good ol Permar
 
2007 Albert Young/Damien Simms 1-2 punch at RB. Simms would often come in after Albert had worn down the defense and rip off a long run.

I honestly don't remember whether it happened against Illinois or Minnesota...but there was a mouthy visitor in our section. Iowa has the ball, right in front of us. Young goes out ...Simms comes in. I was a little lubed up myself, so I stood up and yelled at the guy... "Look out...#28 is going all the way, watch him....he's gonna take it to the house"...etc etc.

The guy turns and yells back at me, "yeah bull****, if he does...I'll leave". Needless to say...Simms takes the handoff, finds a slot on the left side, jukes the weakside linebacker and goes 60 yards untouched for the TD. The entire section started razing the guy....yelling "BYE BYE!!!"...and waving him out. The guy finally got up with his girlfriend and left because the taunting was so relentless. His girlfriend was berating him the whole way for opening his mouth.... the crowd loved it.

Didn't Sims have some redic stat like 4 touchdown runs on his first 5 carries as a Hawkeye?
 
Last year, second home game, dude in the same row as me stands up on his seat during the national anthem and drops his bib-overalls, the guy is very drunk. A little while later, state troopers, security.....at least five, or six of them haul him away. Before the end of the first half, he shows back up and he is now two rows directly in front me. It turned out security was upset with him because he was in the wrong seat, not that he was drunk, or disrespectful during the national anthem.
 
I have a few, but will start with this one.

2009 game at home VS Arizona. One of our 'regulars' (Dude) drives up from mid-Missouri (5+ hours) to tailgate and see the Hawks.

His brother has the tickets and joins us at the tailgate. Dude gets buzzed, brother gets wasted and wanders off with the tickets. No problem says the Dude, I'll call him. Ooops, no cell reception around Kinnick.

Dude realizes trying to find said brother amongst 70K Hawk fans would be hopeless, so he scalps a ticket. All is good.

Until, Dude tries to get into Kinnick and the ticket taker asks him for his student ID. Seems as if the scalper stiffed the Dude with a student ticket. Dude turns around to find said scalper who of course is long gone. Dude is denied access to Kinnick.

Dude ends up watching through the iron-gates on the SE side of Kinnick. (Reverse jail if you will....)
 
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