Yes, Iowa won, but…

SomersHawk

Well-Known Member
If one wants to read about how the HAWKS suck on offense but the defense is great you can get that in the football forum. If you need a change of pace go to the BB forum where it's the other way around.

HAWKS ARE NINE & TWO, a fixture in the polls, got a shot at the BIG W. Pretty sure about 90 percent of the teams in the country wouldn't mind being in their position. Who gives a shit if they win ugly? Beats losing pretty. Say they win out and end up 11-2, top ten, do we put an asterisk by it because the offense didn't contribute their share to the overall success of the TEAM?
 

IowaPhan

Well-Known Member
He smells like the pile of smoldering cliches’ and jargon that crashed and burned all around him during his first year at minnie. I was so embarrassed the BIG let a guy like that into the club.
 

uihawk82

Well-Known Member
… anyone else just a wee bit concerned that special teams and defense are turning out to be Iowa’s offense?

Of the 33 points the Hokks put up yesterday, 26 came from 4 field goals, a 100-yard kickoff return and a pick 6. Only 7 points were the result of a true offensive play.

There’ve been several threads this fall about the weakness of Iowa’s attack. But sooner or later in our last two games our flaccid ability to move the ball will be exposed (once again.)

Iowa’s offensive stats are incredibly bad. The current OC needs to be replaced and the staff needs to focus on bringing in better pkayers, especially at the skill positions.

Wait a second, so if the offense starts a drive at their own 20 and drive it 60 yards to the other 20 yard line and then kick a field goal the offense did nothing. that is very shortsighted and wrong headed way to look at it.

The offense generated about 300 yards (minus that goofy -30 on the muffed punt snap) and those yards led to field goals, a touchdown, and maintaining field position and the long field for the Illini. Team effort in all 3 phases.
 

SCHawkeye2

Well-Known Member
It would be interesting to know many time the offense had a 75-80 yd drive for a touchdown this year.
Seems very rare.
 

kicker22

Well-Known Member
Nebraska has had many chances to win most of the games they have played this season. What has cost them is the constance mistakes at critical times. If Nebbie plays a clean game I see the Hawks going down. I don't see how the Hawk offense can keep the pace if Nebbie plays mistake free.

I try to to see the argument here, but Nebraska's proved time and time again that they cannot play mistake free football. Mistake free football to Nebraska is the equivalent of Iowa's offense carrying our defense and special teams. From the top down they're undisciplined and undisciplined teams don't play mistake free.

I see this game playing out just as both teams have all season. Iowa's going to play safe and ride their defense...Nebraska's going to play overly aggressive and make mistakes. I see it coming down to the wire in a one score game as I don't think they have the patience to play mistake free and I don't think we have the fire power to take advantage of their turnovers.
 

kicker22

Well-Known Member
Wait a second, so if the offense starts a drive at their own 20 and drive it 60 yards to the other 20 yard line and then kick a field goal the offense did nothing. that is very shortsighted and wrong headed way to look at it.

The offense generated about 300 yards (minus that goofy -30 on the muffed punt snap) and those yards led to field goals, a touchdown, and maintaining field position and the long field for the Illini. Team effort in all 3 phases.
Team effort absolutely, but at some point the offense needs to capitalize on those drives and get TDs instead of field goals to take the pressure off the defense and special teams.
 

Fryowa

Administrator
9 WINS IS UNACCEPTABLE THIS IS BULLSHIT WE NEED TO FIRE ALL THE COACHES BECAUSE FERENTZ HAS BEEN HERE TOO LONG WE NEED NEW BLOOD EVERYONE HERE HAS A LOSER ATTITUDE TO ACCEPT 9 WINS AS GOOD ENOUGH EVEN A 5 YEAR OLD COULD CALL BETTER PLAYS FIRE EVERYONE AND IF THEY DON'T WIN FIRE EVERYONE AGAIN IOWA IS A MARQUEE DESTINATION AND GREAT COACHES WOULD LOVE TO COME HERE FIRE EVERYONE THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE IM SICK OF 9 WINS BEING THE CEILING FIRE EVERYONE!!!
 

Fryowa

Administrator
He’s probably a Brut type
No way.

Fleck is a Preferred Stock guy. But not only a Preferred Stock guy, he's one of those dudes who boils Preferred Stock down on his stove to increase the concentration of the smell.

Like one of those 41 year olds with a fake tan, jeans his wife bought him that have designs sewn in the ass pockets, and a button up shirt his wife also bought him with the cuffs flipped inside out to show off the patterned fabric and his giant $30 Fossil watch. Add a flat brimmed hat that his wife also bought him and enough Preferred Stock to be able to smell him walk in the front door of Walmart when you're all the way back by the TV's, and you're in business.
 

GesterHawk

Well-Known Member
No way.

Fleck is a Preferred Stock guy. But not only a Preferred Stock guy, he's one of those dudes who boils Preferred Stock down on his stove to increase the concentration of the smell.

Like one of those 41 year olds with a fake tan, jeans his wife bought him that have designs sewn in the ass pockets, and a button up shirt his wife also bought him with the cuffs flipped inside out to show off the patterned fabric and his giant $30 Fossil watch. Add a flat brimmed hat that his wife also bought him and enough Preferred Stock to be able to smell him walk in the front door of Walmart when you're all the way back by the TV's, and you're in business.
Nah, Axe Body Spray.
A can a day keeps the smell of desperation away.
 

GesterHawk

Well-Known Member
He smells like the pile of smoldering cliches’ and jargon that crashed and burned all around him during his first year at minnie. I was so embarrassed the BIG let a guy like that into the club.
Or used cars. I bet he smells of used cars and patchouli.
 

GesterHawk

Well-Known Member
Wait a second, so if the offense starts a drive at their own 20 and drive it 60 yards to the other 20 yard line and then kick a field goal the offense did nothing. that is very shortsighted and wrong headed way to look at it.

The offense generated about 300 yards (minus that goofy -30 on the muffed punt snap) and those yards led to field goals, a touchdown, and maintaining field position and the long field for the Illini. Team effort in all 3 phases.
The defense and special teams should stop playing so well because fans want to see more offensive yards per game.
 
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ssckelley

Well-Known Member
No way.

Fleck is a Preferred Stock guy. But not only a Preferred Stock guy, he's one of those dudes who boils Preferred Stock down on his stove to increase the concentration of the smell.

Like one of those 41 year olds with a fake tan, jeans his wife bought him that have designs sewn in the ass pockets, and a button up shirt his wife also bought him with the cuffs flipped inside out to show off the patterned fabric and his giant $30 Fossil watch. Add a flat brimmed hat that his wife also bought him and enough Preferred Stock to be able to smell him walk in the front door of Walmart when you're all the way back by the TV's, and you're in business.
YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!!!! I like Preferred Stock!

But your second paragraph is dead on.
 

Fryowa

Administrator
No way.

Fleck is a Preferred Stock guy. But not only a Preferred Stock guy, he's one of those dudes who boils Preferred Stock down on his stove to increase the concentration of the smell.

Like one of those 41 year olds with a fake tan, jeans his wife bought him that have designs sewn in the ass pockets, and a button up shirt his wife also bought him with the cuffs flipped inside out to show off the patterned fabric and his giant $30 Fossil watch. Add a flat brimmed hat that his wife also bought him and enough Preferred Stock to be able to smell him walk in the front door of Walmart when you're all the way back by the TV's, and you're in business.
While we're on the subject of fashion...

If you are a male over the age of 19, wearing a flat brimmed hat should be subject to immediate summary execution. I know there are 40 somethings on this board who let your wives dress you up like Ken dolls and this will severely trigger some of you, but listen up...

Here is a list of shit that you as a 40 something are not allowed to do and should be put in jail for...

1) Tanning. I don't even need to explain this one. A 43 year-old from Iowa looking like a burnt umber leather purse in January screams insecurity. Don't fucking do it.

2) Jeans that don't say Levi's or Wrangler on them. Stop listening to your wife and stop letting her buy you boot cut jeans with sparkly stitching on the ass pockets and fake stone washing down the front. We fucking know that you didn't wear the dye out on your knees, and thighs, bud. Stop trying to sell the idea.

3) Earrings. Just fucking don't. Most of us all had run ins with earrings in the 90's, but most of us actually grew up. Take those goddamned things out and throw 'em in the river.

4) Backwards hats. The day you got your first gray beard hair was the first day you were disqualified from wearing a hat backwards. It's not a tragedy, it's a testament that you've lived long enough to not dress like you're 19 anymore. Also, bonus points removed if that hat you're wearing backwards is flat brimmed or tilted off angle. Immediate firing squad.

5) Jordans or any other sneakers with skinny jeans tucked in behing the tongues. You don't live in Brooklyn, you aren't 17 years old, and wearing that shit in Bondurant, Iowa or wherever the hell you are isn't showing solidarity to the hip hop scene on the east/west coasts. It just marks you as a doucher who can't accept that he doesn't get carded anymore.

6) Sculpted goatee designs. Totally fucking prohibited. No soul patches, no shaving your goatee down to an upside-down T, no doing the 3 stripe thing upto your lips because you can't grow a full goatee. Either have a goatee or beard and let it be, or shave it. For the learning impaired in the crowd, basically if Fred Durst ever did it, it's not allowed. A goatee is your mustache and chin hair under your lips, unadulterated, period.

Fellas...stop letting your wife buy you clothes and trying to dress you up like a little puppy dog. You're 40 or 50 something years old, all you need are a few white and gray undershirts, a few solid color polos, t-shirts, some non-cargo pants/shorts (no fucking jorts allowed), and a few pairs of Levi's in whatever style fits comfortably. A couple hoodies, and a pair of black or gray sneakers. Hawkeye gear is to consist of t-shirts, hoodies, baseball caps or stocking hats only. No Columbia fleeces and no sweat pants. If you're too cold and think you need a $97 Hawkeye Columbia fleece, put another shirt underneath your hoodie and toughen the fuck up. Hawk gear is to be presented in proper Black and Old Gold, not that florescent yellow shit that some brands try to use to avoid marketing licenses. Also, Hawkeye gear should never be disposed of, only added to. That mid 90s shirt with the puke stains and burned sleeve are marks of rites of passage and suffering. If your wife tells you to throw pieces of your collection away, that is when it has been elevated to shrine status, not the garbage can. Tell her to get bent or find a different husband name Reese or Clayton who will let her play dress up. You're not her little preschooler.

If you have to dress up for work just do your thing, but no skinny dress pants, no shiny fabric, and definitely no pointy-toe oxfords. That's for 20 year olds--not you. For those of you still triggered and still thinking they can dress hip...know this--

The rest of us see you coming a mile away, smell you when you walk in the room, and we make fun of you when you're not looking.
 
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in8hawk

Well-Known Member
I would have also thought Drakkar or Hai Karate for PJs preffered scent. He may own the last crate of Hai Karate, to keep his signature scent alive.
 

MelroseHawkins

Well-Known Member
At this point why worry or fret, we are who we are at this point in the season. Maybe this team will be best known for pulling bunnies out of the hat. I’ll take it over looking good and losing close games…….can be painful to watch at times but the wins are nice to read about the next day, no? Have to give this year’s players some credit……..maybe a lot.

9-2 vs 3-8 and we’re the underdog this Fri………a rare situation indeed.
^^This

One season schedule game left.

Side note: I much more enjoy watching Iowa State's offense than Iowa's, even when Iowa State loses. One of my 14 yr old boys even said to me a couple weeks ago when I asked him why he wasn't watching the game, "Iowa is just so damn boring to watch." I couldn't disagree but I'm a fan so I endure.
 
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GesterHawk

Well-Known Member
WHile mwe're on the subject of fashion...

If you are a male over the age of 19, wearing a flat brimmed hat should be subject to immediate summary execution. I know there are 40 somethings on this board who let your wives dress you up like Ken dolls and this will severely trigger some of you, but listen up...

Here is a list of shit that you as a 40 something are not allowed to do and should be put in jail for...

1) Tanning. I don't even need to explain this one. A 43 year-old from Iowa looking like a burnt umber leather purse in January screams insecurity. Don't fucking do it.

2) Jeans that don't say Levi's or Wrangler on them. Stop listening to your wife and stop letting her buy you boot cut jeans with sparkly stitching on the ass pockets and fake stone washing down the front. We fucking know that you didn't wear the dye out on your knees, and thighs, bud. Stop trying to sell the idea.

3) Earrings. Just fucking don't. Most of us all had run ins with earrings in the 90's, but most of us actually grew up. Take those goddamned things out and throw 'em in the river.

4) Backwards hats. The day you got your first gray beard hair was the first day you were disqualified from wearing a hat backwards. It's not a tragedy, it's a testament that you've lived long enough to not dress like you're 19 anymore. Also, bonus points removed if that hat you're wearing backwards, is flat brimmed or tilted off angle. Immediate firing squad.

5) Jordans or any other sneakers with skinny jeans tucked in behing the tongues. You don't live in Brooklyn, you aren't 17 years old, and wearing that shit in Bondurant, Iowa or wherever the hell you are isn't showing solidarity to the hip hop scene on the east/west coasts. It just marks you as a doucher who can't accept that he doesn't get carded anymore.

6) Sculpted goatee designs. Totally fucking prohibited. No soul patches, no shaving your goatee down to an upside-down T, no doing the 3 stripe thing upto your lips because you can't grow a full goatee. Either have a goatee or beard and let it be. For the learning impaired in the crowd, basically if Fred Durst ever did it, it's not allowed. A goatee is your mustache and chin hair under your lips, unadulterated, period.

Fellas...stop letting your wife buy you clothes and trying to dress you up like a little puppy dog. You're 40 or 50 something years old, all you need are a few white and gray undershirts, a few solid color polos, t-shirts, some non-cargo pants/shorts (no fucking jorts allowed), and a few pairs of Levi's in whatever style fits comfortably. A couple hoodies, and a pair of black or gray sneakers. Hawkeye gear is to consist of t-shirts, hoodies, baseball caps or stocking hats. It is to be presented in proper Black and Old Gold, not that florescent yellow shit that some brands try to use to avoid marketing licenses. Also, Hawkeye gear should never be disposed of, only added to. That mid 90s shirt with the puke stains and burned sleeve are marks of rites of passage and suffering. If your wife tells you to throw pieces of your collection away, that is when it has been elevated to shrine status, not the garbage can. Tell her to get bent. You're not her little preschooler.

If you have to dress up for work just do your thing, but no skinny dress pants, no shiny fabric, and definitely no pointy-toe oxfords. That's for 20 year olds--not you. For those of you still triggered and still thinking they can dress hip...know this--

The rest of us see you coming a mile away, smell you when you walk in the room, and we make fun of you when you're not looking.
I will argue that there are times when a grown ass man can get away with the backwards hat.
1. Shooting baskets at the park with your kids. Chances are you've been wearing the hat for 4 hours already, so you can spare us your hat hair and turn the cap around because you can't shoot a proper shot with your hat in the way.
2. Shooting clay pigeons or rifles at the range. See above for the reasoning.
3. Sex in public. It can sometimes be tricky to kiss in a ball cap.
 
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