BSpringsteen
Well-Known Member
Sept 3: Tennessee Tech
I am getting married the next day. No way the Hawks ruin my entire weekend against a state technical college located in a state that has no technology. Hawks win: 48-3
September 10: Iowa State
I have to be at a friends wedding this day and will miss what will of course be a much closer game than any of us want to believe. Fortunately for Iowa, our lines push theirs around. In the closing moments, Iowa State fans start chanting, that's alright, that's ok we're gonna be in the MAC Monday!" Hawks win: 17-6
September 17: Pitt
I was thinking about going to this game, but after two straight weekends of weddings, I am looking forward to siting on the couch all day. Hawks are going to come out flat in this game, not realizing this is a real opponent. Hawks fall behind and get stuck in a dog fight. Down 17-7 at halftime, this game determines which Iowa team we see this year. Hawks fight back in a very close game. Later Coach Ferentz recollects about the time he entered a Permanti Brothers sandwich eating comment. Hawks win: 21-20
September 24: University of Louisiana from some city not named Baton Rouge or New Orleans.
Hawks come out flat again, but get it together in the 2nd Qtr. Norm Parker takes the 2nd half off to start a crawfish boil for a mixer between the two teams later that night. Hawks win: 35-14
October 8: Pennsylvania State University
They say the sun can't shine on the same dogs *** twice, or something like that. Well it can. Hawks o-line starts to really gel, and James Morris becomes a household name. After the win, the Hawks give JoePa a shoulder ride off the field. Hawks win: 28-17
October 15: Just Northwestern University
They say the sun can't shine on the same dogs *** twice, or something like that. Northwestern feels confident going into the game until they come out of the tunnel to see the striped crowd. Confused, they ponder how another University was smart enough to be able to do something like that, and how they weren't. Afterall they're Northwestern, Iowa is just some public school. Then they realize it's what happens when you have fans. Anyway, Dan Persa is a really good QB, and Norm Parker waives a white flag for the pass rush instead electing to play contain the entire game. Persa picks off our soft cover 2 zone all day and the game looks like a repeat of the last few years. Iowa has a chance late, but can't get it done. We lose yet again to those purple ********. Iowa Loses: 28-24
October 22: Indiana
Can we actually lose to these jerkoffs again? Oh, we won last year? Could've fooled me. Hawks come out flat, but come back late to win. Iowa wins: 28-17
October 29: 'Sota.
Do we bounce back or **** the season down our legs? Luckily it's those fine marooners from the Twin Cities. We take it. Iowa wins: 35-13
November 5: No Michigan, you're not the Harvard of the West. That's Stanford.
By the time this game comes around, Denard Robinson will have been oft injured by his running around. Unfortunately Michigan might play Defense this year. Damnit. An improved Michigan will fire up the crowd into a frenzy. Oh - being 7-1 at this point, ranked in the top 15 and in the mix for the conference championship can do that too. A classic Big 10 game ensues. The game is tied at 24 with Iowa driving. Ferentz decides playing for overtime seems like the way to go, and calls a handoff to Coker. Well Coker busts it up the middle taking it all the way to the Michigan 17 yard line. The 34 yard FG is good and Iowa wins: 27-24
November 12: They're coaching staff is going to get fired you know.
We all know Coach Ferentz doesn't talk about things like revenge, or how he's been wronged. But he does, and he lets his team know just how much he doesn't care for the guy across the field because of it. Iowa plays inspired football and it is at this point we start to realize that judging Iowa teams in the preseason by anything other than the offensive line is a really bad idea. In the 4th Quarter, all of the Iowa players tell Dantonio they are ******* brown instead of yellow and they think they have rhabdo. Psych! Iowa wins: 45-17
November 19: Purdue
Purdue, a place where proles becomes engineers? Big rivalry.
NSFW Link: [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw7KijRfU-c]Bobby Knight - angry motivation speech -‏ - YouTube[/ame]
Ferentz doesn't talk like this. JMD thinks we're gonna lose because we haven't won at Purdue for a while. I think he's right. See, no one pays attention to Purdue. In a 2010 Gallup Poll, Purdue was the most forgotten Big 10 team. Most people can't find West Lafayette on a map, even if you spot them Lafayette. The stadium sucks, the school kind of sucks the town sucks, and it's in northwest freakin Indiana. What does this all mean? They're like the forgotten team. Better teams than ours have forged into West lafayette and come out losers. Oh well. 9-2. Iowa loses: 31-21
November 25: Nebraska
All I want out of every season is to go into the Nebraska game being in a position where winning the game puts us in Indy, or at least tied for Indy. We get that this year. The game is everything we want it to be. Iowa fights, Nebraska fights back, a classic back and forth ensues. The game goes to Overtime. Double overtime. Triple overtime!!!! Musberger says, "it's ashame anyone has to lose this game." The ESPN Classic programmer has an orgasm and becomes concerned that he is going to have to explain that stain in his pants to his wife. Either way he loses. "You had an orgasm from a football game," she'll say? With Iowa winning 45-42 after only netting a FG, it is up to the defense. Nebraska is driving and is inside the 10. 3rd and Goal. TMart rolls out, and throws it into the endzone... and it is..............
INTERCEPTED BY MORRIS!
Iowa wins 45-42
Big 10 Championship Game vs. Wisconsin
The game everyone wants to see this year and every year. Up yours Delaney.
The field actually turns into a cloud of dust from all the three yard runs and is delayed for hours while they sweep up the field turf. This is about keeping Wisconsin from becoming a dominant Big Ten team, something Iowa should have established for themselves for the past four years. This is about a special season and a trip to Pasadena. This is about coaches pride, and a guy with a tattoo that is clearly eating too much these days. Both teams are 10-2 (6-2) Both teams mirror one another. But one team has to lose. and it will be the Hawks. See they'll break your heart. Iowa loses 24-21 and goes to the Capitol One Bowl.
I am getting married the next day. No way the Hawks ruin my entire weekend against a state technical college located in a state that has no technology. Hawks win: 48-3
September 10: Iowa State
I have to be at a friends wedding this day and will miss what will of course be a much closer game than any of us want to believe. Fortunately for Iowa, our lines push theirs around. In the closing moments, Iowa State fans start chanting, that's alright, that's ok we're gonna be in the MAC Monday!" Hawks win: 17-6
September 17: Pitt
I was thinking about going to this game, but after two straight weekends of weddings, I am looking forward to siting on the couch all day. Hawks are going to come out flat in this game, not realizing this is a real opponent. Hawks fall behind and get stuck in a dog fight. Down 17-7 at halftime, this game determines which Iowa team we see this year. Hawks fight back in a very close game. Later Coach Ferentz recollects about the time he entered a Permanti Brothers sandwich eating comment. Hawks win: 21-20
September 24: University of Louisiana from some city not named Baton Rouge or New Orleans.
Hawks come out flat again, but get it together in the 2nd Qtr. Norm Parker takes the 2nd half off to start a crawfish boil for a mixer between the two teams later that night. Hawks win: 35-14
October 8: Pennsylvania State University
They say the sun can't shine on the same dogs *** twice, or something like that. Well it can. Hawks o-line starts to really gel, and James Morris becomes a household name. After the win, the Hawks give JoePa a shoulder ride off the field. Hawks win: 28-17
October 15: Just Northwestern University
They say the sun can't shine on the same dogs *** twice, or something like that. Northwestern feels confident going into the game until they come out of the tunnel to see the striped crowd. Confused, they ponder how another University was smart enough to be able to do something like that, and how they weren't. Afterall they're Northwestern, Iowa is just some public school. Then they realize it's what happens when you have fans. Anyway, Dan Persa is a really good QB, and Norm Parker waives a white flag for the pass rush instead electing to play contain the entire game. Persa picks off our soft cover 2 zone all day and the game looks like a repeat of the last few years. Iowa has a chance late, but can't get it done. We lose yet again to those purple ********. Iowa Loses: 28-24
October 22: Indiana
Can we actually lose to these jerkoffs again? Oh, we won last year? Could've fooled me. Hawks come out flat, but come back late to win. Iowa wins: 28-17
October 29: 'Sota.
Do we bounce back or **** the season down our legs? Luckily it's those fine marooners from the Twin Cities. We take it. Iowa wins: 35-13
November 5: No Michigan, you're not the Harvard of the West. That's Stanford.
By the time this game comes around, Denard Robinson will have been oft injured by his running around. Unfortunately Michigan might play Defense this year. Damnit. An improved Michigan will fire up the crowd into a frenzy. Oh - being 7-1 at this point, ranked in the top 15 and in the mix for the conference championship can do that too. A classic Big 10 game ensues. The game is tied at 24 with Iowa driving. Ferentz decides playing for overtime seems like the way to go, and calls a handoff to Coker. Well Coker busts it up the middle taking it all the way to the Michigan 17 yard line. The 34 yard FG is good and Iowa wins: 27-24
November 12: They're coaching staff is going to get fired you know.
We all know Coach Ferentz doesn't talk about things like revenge, or how he's been wronged. But he does, and he lets his team know just how much he doesn't care for the guy across the field because of it. Iowa plays inspired football and it is at this point we start to realize that judging Iowa teams in the preseason by anything other than the offensive line is a really bad idea. In the 4th Quarter, all of the Iowa players tell Dantonio they are ******* brown instead of yellow and they think they have rhabdo. Psych! Iowa wins: 45-17
November 19: Purdue
Purdue, a place where proles becomes engineers? Big rivalry.
NSFW Link: [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw7KijRfU-c]Bobby Knight - angry motivation speech -‏ - YouTube[/ame]
Ferentz doesn't talk like this. JMD thinks we're gonna lose because we haven't won at Purdue for a while. I think he's right. See, no one pays attention to Purdue. In a 2010 Gallup Poll, Purdue was the most forgotten Big 10 team. Most people can't find West Lafayette on a map, even if you spot them Lafayette. The stadium sucks, the school kind of sucks the town sucks, and it's in northwest freakin Indiana. What does this all mean? They're like the forgotten team. Better teams than ours have forged into West lafayette and come out losers. Oh well. 9-2. Iowa loses: 31-21
November 25: Nebraska
All I want out of every season is to go into the Nebraska game being in a position where winning the game puts us in Indy, or at least tied for Indy. We get that this year. The game is everything we want it to be. Iowa fights, Nebraska fights back, a classic back and forth ensues. The game goes to Overtime. Double overtime. Triple overtime!!!! Musberger says, "it's ashame anyone has to lose this game." The ESPN Classic programmer has an orgasm and becomes concerned that he is going to have to explain that stain in his pants to his wife. Either way he loses. "You had an orgasm from a football game," she'll say? With Iowa winning 45-42 after only netting a FG, it is up to the defense. Nebraska is driving and is inside the 10. 3rd and Goal. TMart rolls out, and throws it into the endzone... and it is..............
INTERCEPTED BY MORRIS!
Iowa wins 45-42
Big 10 Championship Game vs. Wisconsin
The game everyone wants to see this year and every year. Up yours Delaney.
The field actually turns into a cloud of dust from all the three yard runs and is delayed for hours while they sweep up the field turf. This is about keeping Wisconsin from becoming a dominant Big Ten team, something Iowa should have established for themselves for the past four years. This is about a special season and a trip to Pasadena. This is about coaches pride, and a guy with a tattoo that is clearly eating too much these days. Both teams are 10-2 (6-2) Both teams mirror one another. But one team has to lose. and it will be the Hawks. See they'll break your heart. Iowa loses 24-21 and goes to the Capitol One Bowl.
