Stages of Grief: Where Are You At?

[WilcoHawk]

Here's a reminder:

1. Denial – "I feel fine. This can't be happening, not to me."
   Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual.
2. Anger – "Why me? It's not fair. Who is to blame?" Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
3. Bargaining – "Just let me . . . I'll do anything for a few more years; I will give my life savings if..."
   The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."
4. Depression – "I'm so sad, why bother with anything? What's the point?"; During the fourth stage, the person begins to understand the certainty of the situation. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
5. Acceptance – "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it." In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms.

Personally, I think I'm in stage three right now because while I've accepted the fact that Iowa will never be an elite program or win a national title in my lifetime, I'm trying to bargain with a higher power that they will at least make it to (and possibly win?) a Rose Bowl.

On other note, to all of you out there who like to remind everyone that Iowa never won any games during the 70s, please note stage four (depression): "It is not recommended to cheer up an individual who is in this stage." So, as someone who is moving in to stage four, I implore you to please shut it.

Finally, in some weird psychological twist, I may be forever stuck in stage one (denial) regarding the Wisconsin game. I keep imagining that Tolzien bumbled the bad snap and we recovered it or that Ferentz saw what everyone else saw and knew that the fake punt was on, called a time out, and put on the punt block. Wisky is clearly the best team in the Big10 now, but we beat them . . . ur, I mean, we had them beat. UGH!

 

[tm3308]

I'm getting close to stage 5 I think. I've accepted why things went the way they did. I think there are some tweaks that need to be made, but I'm past the flat out anger.

 

[ThunderHawk]

I've been at "bitterly sarcastic" ever since Arizona. It's served my psyche well...and pi$$3d off plenty of the true believers.

 

[hawkeyescott]

I'm finally at #5, no matter what nothing is going to change, I can't do anything about it so I might as well come to terms that everything is going to stay the same and prepare for the same **** next year.

 

[ThunderHawk]

I'm finally at #5, no matter what nothing is going to change, I can't do anything about it so I might as well come to terms that everything is going to stay the same and prepare for the same **** next year.

BFF.

 

[racerhawk]

Acceptance.

I was in Tucson. I was in Kinnick for the Wisky fake punt. I was in Kinnick for the Pryor run. I was in rainy Evanston for that debacle. And, yes...I was inside the Arctic Circle (Minneapolis) for that showing on Saturday. As the fourth quarter unfolded, I knew the outcome (based upon my previous four experiences).

I was really pizzed in Evanston, and have been working towards acceptance ever since.

Now, I just want to go cross country skiing and forget about stuff that I have no control over (19 year old guys and their psyches).

 

[Bohawk]

I've accepted it. I was very angry immediately following the game, but I went to a movie with my wife afterwards and yelled at her all the way there. That really helped.

What can you really do or say at this point? I'm not happy, but life's too short.

 

[HaydenHawk56]

Accept it. But, that does not mean I'm still not ****** about it. But, there is really nothing that can be done on our end right now.

 

[ColoradoHAWKEYE]

Me, I 'm just plain in denial. I have my hopes up that Auburn and Oregon both tumble this week and we get the extra votes for "body of work" and "style points" and a slippage of SOS for Stanford's loss vs. Oregon. This will put us into the NC as planned and I can carry out my January travel plans to Tempe. I think that our recruiting will be extra good this off season as well due to the immense offensive stats we put up in the latter half of the season.

It sure was cool how we were able to trade uniforms and stadiums with Wisconsin last month for the remainder of the season. I'm glad our coach has that tattoo on his leg so we can't get confused about the switch up.

 

[mrolympia]

I went from stage 4 to stage 2 and am still there, and probably will be until the bowl game.

 

[Hawkfromnorwalk]

I keep teetering between 2 and 4. Today is more of a 4.

 

[DreamSeason]

Acceptance. I was actually in this category after the on-side kick in the first quarter. I saw the defense playing with no intensity and it was over at that point. I was actually joking with my dad after the game about it all. I was never even worried / upset about the loss. Just laughed about it.

 

[JonDMiller]

6. Lack of tolerance for certain types of people

 

[ThunderHawk]

6. Lack of tolerance for certain types of people

It's OK to mention me by name.

 

[HawkeyeDenis]

"Personally, I think I'm in stage three right now because while I've accepted the fact that Iowa will never be an elite program or win a national title in my lifetime, I'm trying to bargain with a higher power that they will at least make it to (and possibly win?) a Rose Bowl. "

This is the stage I am. Except that I don't have any faith in bargaining. So I guess that puts at stage 5. Acceptance. Nope..have to modify this. I am at stage 6. I am going to be grumpy about the hawkeyes until they win again. THEY LOST TO MINNESOTA! FREAKIN MINNESOTA! Then I might dial it back to acceptance. geez freakin Minnesota. Are you kidding me?

We are a small flyover state and all we can do is contend but not win. But we contend so we are still a step higher than the clowns.

 

[HawkeyeNTexas]

I'm with Monica.
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZmnqY5iJUg]YouTube - Friends - The women's 7 erogenous zones by Monica[/ame]

 

[ThunderHawk]

"Personally, I think I'm in stage three right now because while I've accepted the fact that Iowa will never be an elite program or win a national title in my lifetime, I'm trying to bargain with a higher power that they will at least make it to (and possibly win?) a Rose Bowl. "

This is the stage I am. Except that I don't have any faith in bargaining. So I guess that puts at stage 5. Acceptance.

We are a small flyover state and all we can do is contend but not win. But we contend so we are still a step higher than the clowns.

Someone begs to differ with that assessment.

 

[edr247]

For the loss or for the season? I was over the Minnesota loss almost minutes after it happened. I was at the game, and I could see exactly how the final quarter was going to play out. In fact, my friend and I were able to predict most of the plays that occurred in the final quarter.

As for the season, I've actually accepted it already. Watching the team collapse was frustrating at first, but pretty predictable by the final whistle of the Minnesota game.

 

[okeefe4prez]

With Iowa FB as a whole, I am at stage 2. My earliest memories are of the 1985 season and my dad telling me that was as good as it would ever be, I was in denial for a long time, but then I realized he was right and I hit 5 sometime in the mid '90's, then we had some success and looked like we were on track for something special to happen, so I reverted to stage 3 and bargained, thinking things like "if I go to the games wearing my lucky shirt and pay through the nose for season tix, we'll be able to build something really special." Then, 2005-2007 happened, yet I still bargained. I was rewarded with 2008 and 2009, I thought that 2010 was going to be the year where we saw Iowa rise to true national prominence, then the Arizona game happened and I moved to stage 4. At the start of the 4th quarter of the NU game, when I realized NU had the wind and I would be watching a repeat of the same movie I have seen plenty of times in the past, I regressed to stage 2, where I am still stuck today. The day I punch the "submit" button on my NU season tickets will be the day that I truly hit 5.

 

[JonDMiller]

It's OK to mention me by name.

Oh, I just figured that a post like that would cause those with guilty conscience's to come out on their own. I didn't have anyone in particular in mind actually