Off. Coord. Not Fired in EOY Presser - full meltdown ensues

BSpringsteen

BSpringsteen

Well-Known Member
When your fan base is melting down more because your offensive coordinator still had a job today than it did after half the losses this season - you've officially jumped the shark as a college football program.

When you can install your son into a position that he has never held, and who is just 29 years old to the great joy of many, simply because he is not Greg Davis, you've officially jumped the shark as a college football program.

Kirk - you've just cemented that how you will be remembered at Iowa to a guy whose most famous for throwing a 1 yard out to a TE on 4th and 3. For your sake, I hope that you know something we don't.
 
You should start a "You Might Be A Ferrets" thread, wherein we work the "you might be a redneck" concept adapted to teh ferrets family.
Some examples:
You might be a Ferrets if...you chew gum obliviously while your world burns down around you.
You might be a Ferrets if...you try to minimize how badly you stepped on your d!ck this season by invoking the US national debt.
 
You might be a Ferentz (I like to spell correctly) if you continue to wear pleated pants when everyone knows that a more modern flat front pant is a better look, and more appealing on the TV.
 
you might be a ferentz if you wrote more notes on your little notepad than your offense scored points.
 
You might be a ferrets if Rush Limbaugh calls you too conservative.

You might be a ferrets if you track the game clock using a sun dial.
 
You might be a Ferentz if you try to invoke a couple of wins over a month old while trying to defend your pathetic performance over that ensuing month.
 
You might be a Ferrets if you more than once in a season get an "illegal participation" penalty immediately following a timeout.
 
You might be a Ferrets if you demand execution from your players, but chronically mismanage the clock and send in 12 men after a f***ing timeout.
 
You might be a Ferrets if you are the only coach in all of division 1 fb to play only 1 qb for the entire season.
 
You might be a ferrets if you respond to a reporters fair question with "firing squad is out today"

You might be a ferrets if you have alienated an entire fan base

You might be a ferrets if you buyout is bigger than most lottery jackpots
 
Nero fiddled as Rome Burned
th


please photoshop Barta's face on to that
 
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You might be a Ferentz if you fart snort

You might be a Ferentz if you use your record from 10 years ago to defend yourself in a presser

You might be a Ferentz if you have a losing record to ISU, INDIANA, AND NORTHWESTERN!!

You might be a Ferentz if you have to ask what part of the offense were you talking about as a problem?

You might be a Ferentz if you play only one quarterback all season long when he is failing horribly.

You might be a Ferentz if your best offensive threat is a 6'7 giant at TE and only had one pass completion of 20 yards or longer to him

You might be a Ferentz if you bring back an OC who's offense ranked 114 of 120

You might be a Ferentz if you bring up the national debt in your presser trying to prove their might be one thing worse than your coaching.
 
You might be a Ferentz if your idea of time management is to wait till there is a minute left on the clock to call your first timeout with a slow methodical team who needs to drive the length of the field and only passes the ball no further than 7 yards downfield.
 
You might be a Ferentz if you don't think your OC should be out recruiting even though that may be the only value he actually he has to your program.
 
You might be a Ferretz if you are the only one in a football stadium who never sees a fake punt coming.
 
You might be a Ferretz if your team looks at you incredulously after an onside kick like, "They can do that??"
 
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