Ballboy9092
Member
We're all arguing about what Gary Dolphin said, and should Gary Dolphin have said it? Should Barta punish Gary Dolphin? Is it the appropriate punishment for Gary Dolphin?
Really though, I think we're missing the point.
There is a man named Gary Dolphin.
Gary.
Dolphin.
It's one of the better names out there.
Let's start at the end. How is someone's last name a precocious sea creature? Like really, how can that actually be someone's last name? I've never heard of anyone else being named for the golden retriever of the sea. Not only that, he's from Iowa, the most landlocked of states. How did he stumble upon that name?
His first name is Gary, which is one of the most comedically satisfying names out there. From the hard 'G' all the way to 'ary' it's hilarious. It's a name reserved for uncles, ex-husbands, and Applebee's managers. Think about it, all Garys in the world fall into those three categories, and my aunt's ex-husband falls into all three.
So you add Gary to Dolphin and you get a hilarious, precocious name. Almost as funny as Jerry Porpoise.
We're Hawkeye fans, we're generally happy with 8 wins in football and 20 wins in basketball. We don't ask for much.
The fact that we have a man named Gary Dolphin is a gift from above.
We can't lose him.
Really though, I think we're missing the point.
There is a man named Gary Dolphin.
Gary.
Dolphin.
It's one of the better names out there.
Let's start at the end. How is someone's last name a precocious sea creature? Like really, how can that actually be someone's last name? I've never heard of anyone else being named for the golden retriever of the sea. Not only that, he's from Iowa, the most landlocked of states. How did he stumble upon that name?
His first name is Gary, which is one of the most comedically satisfying names out there. From the hard 'G' all the way to 'ary' it's hilarious. It's a name reserved for uncles, ex-husbands, and Applebee's managers. Think about it, all Garys in the world fall into those three categories, and my aunt's ex-husband falls into all three.
So you add Gary to Dolphin and you get a hilarious, precocious name. Almost as funny as Jerry Porpoise.
We're Hawkeye fans, we're generally happy with 8 wins in football and 20 wins in basketball. We don't ask for much.
The fact that we have a man named Gary Dolphin is a gift from above.
We can't lose him.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Who needs late night comedy when you can come on this forum. 
