A joint CBS Sports/ESPN investigation has uncovered evidence that Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz has decided to give into his true evil nature after recent opinion pieces brought this information to light.
This information was received via Twitter from an unnamed source who's best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who was passing by Iowa AD Gary Barta's office when Ferentz made his decision known.
Along with this information our source has also provided us with a recent photo (seen below) of the now openly nefarious football coach. It should be noted that this source was instrumental in breaking the story of a mysterious illness contracted by a Chicago area teenager on a particularly lovely spring day, so we have no doubt about either the photo or this story's authenticity.
Our source has also told us that while in Barta's office Ferentz was seen stroking a hairless cat, and threatening to detonate a nuclear device on the Iowa campus if he didn't receive the sum of one million dollars.
When reached for comment Coach Ferentz replied only that "The details of my life are quite inconsequential".
CBS Sports/ESPN will be bringing you more information on this breaking story as it is whispered into our ear.
This information was received via Twitter from an unnamed source who's best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who was passing by Iowa AD Gary Barta's office when Ferentz made his decision known.
Along with this information our source has also provided us with a recent photo (seen below) of the now openly nefarious football coach. It should be noted that this source was instrumental in breaking the story of a mysterious illness contracted by a Chicago area teenager on a particularly lovely spring day, so we have no doubt about either the photo or this story's authenticity.
Our source has also told us that while in Barta's office Ferentz was seen stroking a hairless cat, and threatening to detonate a nuclear device on the Iowa campus if he didn't receive the sum of one million dollars.
When reached for comment Coach Ferentz replied only that "The details of my life are quite inconsequential".
CBS Sports/ESPN will be bringing you more information on this breaking story as it is whispered into our ear.
Last edited:
