Kinnick just got a whole lot unsafer.

2

2StarStan

Banned
I’ve got some bad news for those that like to feel safe in Kinnick Stadium. I just read a code red memo from Gayle, our director of gameland security, that we are scrapping the random pat down procedure at Kinnick. Gayle said officials at Iowa determined it would slow down entry lines and likely anger too many people. He said there if there is a big problem at any point this year Iowa would possibly reconsider.
Scratch one off for the bad guys I guess. If I were you guys I’d be pretty mad. Your chances of being attacked by terroristism probably just tripled. Sure some of you stadium goers might have a little more personal freedom but at what price? Don’t think for a second that groups like Al Qaeda don’t pay attention to these things. It really makes me mad that I’m part of a team that helps keep Iowan’s safe from terroristism but I’m not allowed to fully do my job.
 
Hey Stan, shouldn't all prospective entrants to Kinnick be required to show their valid USA Birth Certificate to the brave Security Screeners on Duty?
Do you agree?
Foreigners should NOT be allowed in Kinnick.
 
2StarStan said:
I’ve got some bad news for those that like to feel safe in Kinnick Stadium. I just read a code red memo from Gayle, our director of gameland security, that we are scrapping the random pat down procedure at Kinnick. Gayle said officials at Iowa determined it would slow down entry lines and likely anger too many people. He said there if there is a big problem at any point this year Iowa would possibly reconsider.
Scratch one off for the bad guys I guess. If I were you guys I’d be pretty mad. Your chances of being attacked by terroristism probably just tripled. Sure some of you stadium goers might have a little more personal freedom but at what price? Don’t think for a second that groups like Al Qaeda don’t pay attention to these things. It really makes me mad that I’m part of a team that helps keep Iowan’s safe from terroristism but I’m not allowed to fully do my job.
Click to expand...

I think that we'll brobibly be ok
 
2StarStan said:
I’ve got some bad news for those that like to feel safe in Kinnick Stadium. I just read a code red memo from Gayle, our director of gameland security, that we are scrapping the random pat down procedure at Kinnick. Gayle said officials at Iowa determined it would slow down entry lines and likely anger too many people. He said there if there is a big problem at any point this year Iowa would possibly reconsider.
Scratch one off for the bad guys I guess. If I were you guys I’d be pretty mad. Your chances of being attacked by terroristism probably just tripled. Sure some of you stadium goers might have a little more personal freedom but at what price? Don’t think for a second that groups like Al Qaeda don’t pay attention to these things. It really makes me mad that I’m part of a team that helps keep Iowan’s safe from terroristism but I’m not allowed to fully do my job.
Click to expand...

So on your breaks go to the bathroom and play with your own junk and that way maybe this won't seem so bad for you.
 
I'm pretty sure my foreign wife isn't a terrorist, although like many spouses she can be annoying at times. Even still, I was hoping to bring her along on Saturday.
 
NagoyaHawk said:
I'm pretty sure my foreign wife isn't a terrorist, although like many spouses she can be annoying at times. Even still, I was hoping to bring her along on Saturday.
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You'll just have to give her a "pat down" yourself before you leave for the stadium. You know...for National Security purposes.
 
Chickenlounge said:
Yeah, it was amusing the first time around. This time? Not so much...
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Yeah I agree this isn't funny at all. It's like the people of Iowa don't realize how much danger they are in every time they step foot in Niles Kinnick stadium. Iowa officials are equally clueless, or maybe they just care more about $$$ than they protecting citizens from terroristism. It's like Iowa officials don't realize that we save lives EVERY GAME!
 
You'll just have to give her a "pat down" yourself before you leave for the stadium. You know...for National Security purposes.[/QUOTE]

Nice! That will be the Grande Finale of the tailgate party.
 
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It wasn't funny in the first place.
 
Thanks to whoever gave my thread two stars. I appreciate your silent support. PM me your name and a copy of your ID and I'll make sure you get VIP treatment through security lines at Kinnick this fall, provided you aren't brownish.
 
MelroseHawkins said:
Are you mocking the TSA?
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Why would I mock this countries first line of defense against terroristisms? The TSA saved about 700,000 lives last year alone. Gayle said if I do real good this year and hit my alochol confiscation quota I have a chance at getting on in Cedar Rapids or Moline.
 
2StarStan said:
Thanks to whoever gave my thread two stars. I appreciate your silent support. PM me your name and a copy of your ID and I'll make sure you get VIP treatment through security lines at Kinnick this fall, provided you aren't brownish.
Click to expand...

I just gave your thread a 1 star. I will be at the Tennessee Tech game and I guarantee you will not be patting me down.
 
2StarStan said:
Why would I mock this countries first line of defense against terroristisms? The TSA saved about 700,000 lives last year alone. Gayle said if I do real good this year and hit my alochol confiscation quota I have a chance at getting on in Cedar Rapids or Moline.
Click to expand...

I've been wondering what you've been up to GW Bush.

I have a question. Did you happen to shat yourself on a golf course in Des Moines several weeks back? :D
 
Wow, I almost feel bad for a cetain racist security guard that won't be able to do "random" pat downs
 
I have been in the sun alot this summer and have aquired a deep tan. Should I be concerned about being turned away at the gate in Kinnick this fall? And if so, what could I do to help my situation?
 
scourt said:
I have been in the sun alot this summer and have aquired a deep tan. Should I be concerned about being turned away at the gate in Kinnick this fall? And if so, what could I do to help my situation?
Click to expand...

Send a picture of yourself to 2StarStan and hope he does not find you attractive.
 
2StarStan said:
I’ve got some bad news for those that like to feel safe in Kinnick Stadium. I just read a code red memo from Gayle, our director of gameland security, that we are scrapping the random pat down procedure at Kinnick. Gayle said officials at Iowa determined it would slow down entry lines and likely anger too many people. He said there if there is a big problem at any point this year Iowa would possibly reconsider.
Scratch one off for the bad guys I guess. If I were you guys I’d be pretty mad. Your chances of being attacked by terroristism probably just tripled. Sure some of you stadium goers might have a little more personal freedom but at what price? Don’t think for a second that groups like Al Qaeda don’t pay attention to these things. It really makes me mad that I’m part of a team that helps keep Iowan’s safe from terroristism but I’m not allowed to fully do my job.
Click to expand...

Stan, how are things in Chicago these days? Don't you have a hostile take-over or something to negotiate?
 
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