Dear Mr. Forde,
I am here to write you a sternly worded email. I don't mean to offend you, but I think that you and your mother suck, just as much as those wimps from Missouri. If only your father backed out as quickly as Missouri backs out of playing a tough team we wouldn't have to read your garbage. I'm sure that if we put a typewriter in a room full of monkeys that they would come up with more logical conclusions than you did in your bowl predictions. I will admit that the amount of feces found on the predictions would likely be the same as monkeys do poop alot.
I mean this in all due respect, (which grants me the power to say whatever I want and you cannot get angry at me) that you suck and I hope you get herpes on your anus.
Your most loyal fan,
Mean Drunk R2D2