I find a lot of this discussion intriguing, and, frankly, this is the kind of discussion that should be occurring in our country as a whole right now, as opposed to this bunker ("digging in") mentality, which gets us nowhere.
The question about program expectations versus racism is a very good one, but also one that has many layers.
As some posters have stated, having certain expectations and behavioral standards in a football program is not, in and of itself, racist, but it does create a major paradox - i.e., does perception of the individual trump the reality of the intent, and, if so, where does it end?
In other words, as several have stated, our younger generation has evolved into a cohort much more sensitive to perceived injustices, and the individual may "perceive" an expectation as an attempt to make them conform to what they interpret as "white" culture, but the intent of the rule may simply derive from another's generational expectation of what it means to be a "good" person regardless of race.
Ascertaining who's right is the crux of the problem. It's a major Pandora's Box. Kirk has every right to require players to wear a tie at a function, for example, but what happens when a player states that ties are a reflection of a white male dominant culture, and refuses to comply? Does that perception make the rule racist?
Is Kirk a racist if he says no? Is that an example of subconscious bias? This is where the cancel culture gets out of hand. Ironically, it has almost become a reverse McCarthyism - it doesn't really matter whether you are racist or not, or if your intent is racist or not, you are guilty by accusation. That's dangerous, and it's like a spreading wildfire across the country.
Racism and abuse are non-negotiable, and it's on us to identify it and make substantive changes to correct it. I think everyone would agree with that, but what has become apparent on this board and in our society is that the definitions have become moving targets, and we are putting a tremendous amount of legitimacy on perception. That's not necessarily a bad thing, as it promotes listening, but intent and facts also matter, and shouldn't be discounted in an attempt to avoid accusations and being canceled.