okeefe4prez
Well-Known Member
I'm done b*thcing. I have a little plan, but I need someone to forward me the contact information for Indiana's Athletic Department and I'll need 500 men to support me in my efforts. If you are in, all you need to do is copy and paste the following, with some of your own tweaks, into an email or letter to the AD and pony up a little cash.
Dear AD:
As a lifelong Hoosier fan and Indiana alum, I thank you for your recent staff changes with respect to the football program. I respectfully request that you consider Iowa's current offensive coordinator, Kenneth "the Maestro" O'Keefe for the open head coach position. Mr. O'Keefe's record at the University of Iowa is flawless and he has managed to consistently out think his opposition. Iowa's win-loss record during his tenure speaks for itself. We need a coach who has experience rebuilding a program, and Mr. O'Keefe has demonstrated that he has this experience, as when he arrived at the University of Iowa, the program was in roughly the same shape that our beloved program is currently in. In addition, Mr. O'Keefe will have instant credibility with the people of the State of Indiana, as he was solely responsible for turning Dallas Clark into one of the best players in the NFL and biggest celebrities in the State.
In furtherance of my request, I hereby pledge to donate [PROLES, INSERT WHATEVER AMOUNT YOU WANT TO IN THIS BOX, I'M PUTTING IN A GRAND] to the Athletic Department to help defray the expenses associated with hiring Mr. O'Keefe. Though I have not been in touch with Mr. O'Keefe's representatives, it is my understanding that he is currently paid around $250,000 per year and we should be able to hire him for around $500,000 to $600,000. With a fund raising drive that I am spearheading, I believe we can raise enough to defray at least one half of Mr. O'Keefe's annual salary in his first year and as he turns the program around, additional donations are sure to follow. Finally, this is an ideal hire because it will weaken Iowa's program further, giving the Crimson and Cream a chance to overtake them in the near future.
Sincerely,
[________]
Dear AD:
As a lifelong Hoosier fan and Indiana alum, I thank you for your recent staff changes with respect to the football program. I respectfully request that you consider Iowa's current offensive coordinator, Kenneth "the Maestro" O'Keefe for the open head coach position. Mr. O'Keefe's record at the University of Iowa is flawless and he has managed to consistently out think his opposition. Iowa's win-loss record during his tenure speaks for itself. We need a coach who has experience rebuilding a program, and Mr. O'Keefe has demonstrated that he has this experience, as when he arrived at the University of Iowa, the program was in roughly the same shape that our beloved program is currently in. In addition, Mr. O'Keefe will have instant credibility with the people of the State of Indiana, as he was solely responsible for turning Dallas Clark into one of the best players in the NFL and biggest celebrities in the State.
In furtherance of my request, I hereby pledge to donate [PROLES, INSERT WHATEVER AMOUNT YOU WANT TO IN THIS BOX, I'M PUTTING IN A GRAND] to the Athletic Department to help defray the expenses associated with hiring Mr. O'Keefe. Though I have not been in touch with Mr. O'Keefe's representatives, it is my understanding that he is currently paid around $250,000 per year and we should be able to hire him for around $500,000 to $600,000. With a fund raising drive that I am spearheading, I believe we can raise enough to defray at least one half of Mr. O'Keefe's annual salary in his first year and as he turns the program around, additional donations are sure to follow. Finally, this is an ideal hire because it will weaken Iowa's program further, giving the Crimson and Cream a chance to overtake them in the near future.
Sincerely,
[________]
