I feel bad when I found out that...

[eveningnewsteam]

When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car. - Jack Handey

 

[bungi43]

The Jack Handy posts are what make this thread worthwhile.

 

[Mademyaccount4u]

A buddy of mine played RB in college as a freshman. His first carry he tore his ACL and never played again. 1 carry, 3 yards.

We give him shit for it all the time.

If he had only gotten a few more yards he could have said, "I averaged 6 yards a carry in college".

I would have totally done that, if I were him, and gotten a few more yards.

 

[MelroseHawkins]

If he had only gotten a few more yards he could have said, "I averaged 6 yards a carry in college".

I would have totally done that, if I were him, and gotten a few more yards.

.............by Jack Handey

 

[IlpYGwoeBk]

A buddy of mine in college was the backup QB when he was a freshman. In one of the games they put him in for the last play and called a handoff. He refused to hand it off and instead tried to throw a pass. They told him he was never going to play again and he quit the next day, haha. So his college stats are 0-1 passing.

 

[Tierney]

I met a very nice guy who play college football. We had a great conversation about college football, then he told me he play football in college, but then he stop talking and walked away. I thought that was strange. I found out later when I googled his name , he only play one game out of 4 yrs of college. It must be gut wrenching for him.
I will never reveal his name or what college he play for. Don't ask me.

I can think of a lot worse things that have happened to me in the last week. If that's the worse think that happens to the guy he will either be doing pretty good, or he never really had much of a life.

 

[1hawkeye1]

BTW, Atomic, What was his name and what college did he play for?

 

[BigD]

When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car. - Jack Handey

LMAO

 

[kicker22]

A buddy of mine in college was the backup QB when he was a freshman. In one of the games they put him in for the last play and called a handoff. He refused to hand it off and instead tried to throw a pass. They told him he was never going to play again and he quit the next day, haha. So his college stats are 0-1 passing.

Would have been so much better if he threw a pick 6. Imagine being able to drop that bombshell on random strangers after he leads in with "I used to play college football"

 

[hawkdrummer1]

I believe when a guy blows out a knew after one play it's called a Reverse Rudy.

 

[DJL]

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind.” Basically, it’s made up of two separate words, mank and ind. What do these words mean? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind. ---Jack Handey

 

[ChosenChildren]

Speaking of such, how is Derrick Willies doing? Did he turn out to be the All-American several people on this board predicted he would turn out to be???? What say you?

 

[NCHawker]

words to carry me through the weekend.


" ..... then he told me he play football in college, but then he stop talking and walked away......"

 

[MelroseHawkins]

"I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed my a lot of money.""

 

[DJL]

"It takes a big man to cry. It takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."