Happy 10th Birthday to HawkeyeNation

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Wow, 10 years. Had to look when I joined, almost right at 10 years exactly. Place has been pretty solid. Lots of laughs and some therapy as well.

Appreciate most all of you s.o.b's.

Thanks Rob and Jon.
 
hawkeyebob62 said:
The CYPAW ("Crapping Your Pants at Work") thread was the...er..."bomb".
Click to expand...
In Tokyo they have a weird dating system on their dairy products. The dates key off the date the Emperor ascended to the throne, and I had no idea. I drank this yogurt drink called Yakult that turned out to be about a month past its expiration date and went to work. About 10 minutes from the train stop at my office, I felt like the ultimate battle between good and evil was happening in my stomach. I could feel something bad coming and I could hear ferocious roars coming from my belly, but there was no way in hell I was gonna use the train station bathroom. So I penguin marched to my office when I got off the train. Sweat beaded across my forehead and brow as I used every ounce of my strength to hold my bowels. I took the elevator up to our offices, hopped out of the elevator and penguin marched to the toilet, which was basically a hole in the floor. Like this.

1403970_s__1___1_.jpg

I dropped trou and a millisecond after I bent my knees ever so slightly, perhaps the largest assplosion known to the human race happened. I turned to look at the damage and almost barfed from the sight and smell, as the shit spray was at least 3 feet across and completely covered the floor and back wall of the stall. I penguin marched to the next stall to finish up and wipe.

About 30 minutes later this fairly prim and proper British dude who I worked with asked "Ave you seen the mess some chap left in the lavatory? It looks as if it were sprayed by a feces filled hose. I've never seen anything that dirty and I lived in China for 2 years."

I bit my lip as hard as I could and said "why no, I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am appalled that someone would do that to the bathroom." About 5 people approached me about it within the next hour, but I played it off cool.
 
okeefe4prez said:
In Tokyo they have a weird dating system on their dairy products. The dates key off the date the Emperor ascended to the throne, and I had no idea. I drank this yogurt drink called Yakult that turned out to be about a month past its expiration date and went to work. About 10 minutes from the train stop at my office, I felt like the ultimate battle between good and evil was happening in my stomach. I could feel something bad coming and I could hear ferocious roars coming from my belly, but there was no way in hell I was gonna use the train station bathroom. So I penguin marched to my office when I got off the train. Sweat beaded across my forehead and brow as I used every ounce of my strength to hold my bowels. I took the elevator up to our offices, hopped out of the elevator and penguin marched to the toilet, which was basically a hole in the floor. Like this.

View attachment 9097

I dropped trou and a millisecond after I bent my knees ever so slightly, perhaps the largest assplosion known to the human race happened. I turned to look at the damage and almost barfed from the sight and smell, as the shit spray was at least 3 feet across and completely covered the floor and back wall of the stall. I penguin marched to the next stall to finish up and wipe.

About 30 minutes later this fairly prim and proper British dude who I worked with asked "Ave you seen the mess some chap left in the lavatory? It looks as if it were sprayed by a feces filled hose. I've never seen anything that dirty and I lived in China for 2 years."

I bit my lip as hard as I could and said "why no, I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am appalled that someone would do that to the bathroom." About 5 people approached me about it within the next hour, but I played it off cool.
Click to expand...

Damn, Ken, Double Damn

In 2020, unusual public toilets were installed in two parks in the ever-popular Yoyogi district of Tokyo and quickly, although for a brief period, became an internet sensation.

www.atlasobscura.com

Transparent Restroom

These unique toilets feature transparent glass covered in PDLC film.
www.atlasobscura.com www.atlasobscura.com

These gems probably would not have been very helpful

:cool:
 
okeefe4prez said:
In Tokyo they have a weird dating system on their dairy products. The dates key off the date the Emperor ascended to the throne, and I had no idea. I drank this yogurt drink called Yakult that turned out to be about a month past its expiration date and went to work. About 10 minutes from the train stop at my office, I felt like the ultimate battle between good and evil was happening in my stomach. I could feel something bad coming and I could hear ferocious roars coming from my belly, but there was no way in hell I was gonna use the train station bathroom. So I penguin marched to my office when I got off the train. Sweat beaded across my forehead and brow as I used every ounce of my strength to hold my bowels. I took the elevator up to our offices, hopped out of the elevator and penguin marched to the toilet, which was basically a hole in the floor. Like this.

View attachment 9097

I dropped trou and a millisecond after I bent my knees ever so slightly, perhaps the largest assplosion known to the human race happened. I turned to look at the damage and almost barfed from the sight and smell, as the shit spray was at least 3 feet across and completely covered the floor and back wall of the stall. I penguin marched to the next stall to finish up and wipe.

About 30 minutes later this fairly prim and proper British dude who I worked with asked "Ave you seen the mess some chap left in the lavatory? It looks as if it were sprayed by a feces filled hose. I've never seen anything that dirty and I lived in China for 2 years."

I bit my lip as hard as I could and said "why no, I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am appalled that someone would do that to the bathroom." About 5 people approached me about it within the next hour, but I played it off cool.
Click to expand...
JFC I'm at my desk working trying not to laugh my balls off at this and not succeeding. My boss is looking at me cross eyed but idc this got me going. Thanks asshole.
 
Hawkfnntn said:
JFC I'm at my desk working trying not to laugh my balls off at this and not succeeding. My boss is looking at me cross eyed but idc this got me going. Thanks asshole.
Click to expand...

The crapping your pants at work thread was a classic. I still had my post, but someone on there had a post about driving across Northwest Iowa and stopping at a Casey's that had the bathroom closed and continuing their journey that was way better than my story.
 
okeefe4prez said:
The crapping your pants at work thread was a classic. I still had my post, but someone on there had a post about driving across Northwest Iowa and stopping at a Casey's that had the bathroom closed and continuing their journey that was way better than my story.
Click to expand...
Please tell your golfing story at the course in Des Moinez. Something like issues at the 9th hole.
 
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