Family Guy Quotes

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMynC4twXV8]Family Guy Peter and Lois Swap Bodies - YouTube[/ame]

I might post A LOT of videos in this thread:D
 
Peter: Gays don't vomit. They're a very clean people. And they've been that way ever since they came over to this country from France.
 
For you vin.

Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already.
 
"If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert."
 
Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
 
Hi. I'm Wilford Brimley and I have Diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and I took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife's been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?!
 
theboat said:
For you vin.

Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already.
Click to expand...

lol :D
 
Stewie: Did you hear that Meg? Guys can marry other guys now. So...this is awkward, but I mean, if they can do that, that is pretty much it for you, isn't it? I mean you as well pack it in. Game over.
 
Lois: You're drunk again.
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.
 
"It's like I died and gone to heaven... then they realised it wasn't my time so they sent me back to a brewery." -Peter

"Perhaps it was the Noid who should have avoided me." -Adam West

Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)
 
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyhn1IGgnsI&feature=related]Family Guy - Ronald McDonald - YouTube[/ame]
 
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_5pjXEOJoc&feature=related]Quagmire discovers internet porn - YouTube[/ame]
 
I think it went this way...

Peter and Quagmire were looking at his new Winnebago that had the mis-spelled term "Cross Country Tour"

Peter: Isn't country spelled with an "o?"
Quagmire: Yes.
 
zhawk21 said:
"It's like I died and gone to heaven... then they realised it wasn't my time so they sent me back to a brewery." -Peter

"Perhaps it was the Noid who should have avoided me." -Adam West

Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)
Click to expand...


I loved this one.
 
Peter as he's teaching Meg how to pick up guys: When I'm done with you Meg you'll be beating off guys with both hands.

Bonus from the Simpsons. Homer as he rides into the stadium to save Marge from the demolition derby driver who keeps hitting her car: Stop banging my wife!

Sorry, couldn't help myself.
 
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