Before I can consider him a legit candidate I have a few questions?
1.) Does he use hair gel? If he does I can automatically remove him from consideration as he is undoubtedly an arrogant *****.
2.) Where/how does he poop? 2 ply is pushing it...I would prefer something a little rougher like maybe a pine cone...anything soft and plush like a towel and he is off the list.
3.) Is he willing to disown his children for this job? If his kid so much as steps one foot into CHA...he's done.
4.) Does he like white people? If he even considers one...slow...unathletic...short white kid...he's a no talent hack.
5.) How does he feel about nose biting Saigon whores? This won't affect my decision as much as the others...but it's something I always like to know about people in general.
6.) Does he consider people to be innocent until proven guilty? If those people aren't convicted by the court system...is he willing to take matters into his own hands and (to steal a line from Mortal Kombat) Finish Him? I couldn't resist myself...I wanted something that was going to rile you up.
