Breaking news from The Committee

okeefe4prez

Well-Known Member
In the wake of today's tragic news out of Iowa City, The Bylaws Subcommittee of The Committee has reached tentative agreement on the timing of the release of the 2012 HN Poster Awards. As you may recall, last year The Committee issued the Poster Awards in conjunction with the bowl game and in a closed door meeting, the Bylaws were amended to mandate future releases of the Poster Awards "no later than immediately following the conclusion of Iowa's bowl game." One member of The Committee noted that this was bad policy because it would preclude release in seasons in which Iowa failed to make a bowl game, however, this concern was tabled because most of The Committee thought that Iowa would always make it to at least the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl or the Pizza Pizza Bowl so long as it had a coach earning close to $4 million per annum. But as we saw with the fall of AIG, GM, Citibank and several other large companies and Penn State, even the most intelligent boards or committees sometimes err with respect to identifying potential future developments.

Enough with the history of how we got here. If a definitive agreement is finalized, The Committee will endeavor to release the 2012 Poster Awards during the weekend of December 29th. As always, certain members of The Committee thank you for your efforts during what has been an incredibly trying and pain filled season of Iowa athletics, ranging from the 4-8 football season to the demise of the once storied rasslin' program and the early NIT exit of the Men's Basketball Program.

I hope this piece of good news will prevent senseless acts of self harm or harm to others, even if the football program is led by individuals who do not believe in concepts such as self-preservation or protecting our childrens' eyes from seeing inhumane beatdowns like the one Michigan administered to the Hawkeyes in Ann Arbor a few weeks ago. Please everyone, stay away from sharp objects, prescription medication, firearms and closed garages with vehicles running in them for the next few days until your anger, sadness, anxiety and depression over this terrible news passes and tune into HawkeyeNation.com during the weekend of December 29th to see if you won a presigious Poster Award.

Warmest Regards,

OK4P
In his capacity as Chairman of The Committee
 
Name withdrawn from consideration.

Anyone else want to press their luck?

hiding-in-the-corner-2.jpg
 
IM GETTING SO NERVOUS

The Committee has been saying good things about you. I can neither confirm nor deny anyone's status at this point, but you could be in the running for a Big Three. December is basically the red zone, so your nervousness is a good sign. Will you drop a Davis down your leg or will you pull an O'Keefe and punch it in for 6? Ball's in your court, chief.
 
I'll be out of the country beginning on the 30th, having had the foresight well before this season started to know that Iowa would not be performing in a football contest of any significance during my holiday.

Must one be present to win?
 
I'll be out of the country beginning on the 30th, having had the foresight well before this season started to know that Iowa would not be performing in a football contest of any significance during my holiday.

Must one be present to win?

Negatory, Boss.
 
Negatory, Boss.

Is it possible for one to forfeit any nomination in exchange for membership in The Committee?

See, I think this committee, known to all as The Committee may be helpful in other areas as well, and I for one would like to lend a hand in its various activities whether nefarious, philanthropic or chaotic.
 
I apologize for my transgression. I shall retire to my room and whip myself with my belt.

Wise move. As we saw last year, awards can be retroactively revoked. Your signature would look terrible with "Most successful person to leave Marshalltown, move to Norwalk via Ames and quote a line from The Big Lebowski in his signature 2010 and 2011 Award Winner" followed by the word "vacated."
 

Latest posts

Top