I've been really, really mad before. I've never had a significant other cheat on me with one of my players, but I've been absolutely stark raving furious a couple times in my life to the point where I couldn't talk and thought I was going to pass out or something. Once was at my own mother who I've always loved dearly and still do. Once was at the mother of my son who I've had a mostly great relationship with for the past 16 years.
But I don't understand the physicality part. I can honestly say I've never felt like I was close to trying to choke someone or punch them like that, especially a female who's smaller and weaker than me. I get that everyone's brains are different and we all supposedly have a tipping point; we all have different childhoods and experiences, maybe there's some CTE undertones...etc. but I just don't understand that kind of thing.
If I found out my wife was banging a player I can't sit here and tell you what I'd do, but I can think of a hell of a lot of other things I'd hope I'd do first. Go outside and punch the garden shed if you need to. Go walk down the street and call one of your friends or a fellow coach to come get you for a while if you need to. It ain't worth your life and chances are you're going to hurt a lot more things in your life than the person you're roughing up.