Alternate jerseys for Penn State

[Ian Pike Hammer]

View attachment 5385

Not to be outdone, the clones also announced their alternate unis for this fall...

u da man! world-lass post!!!

 

[Ian Pike Hammer]

The helmet looks like a wrinkled prune!

 

[skinnykilmer17]

NIKE HEADQUARTERS

Nike rep #1: Jim, that Gary Dotard guy from Iowa is on Line 2.

The two men chuckle.

He wants to do alts for the upcoming season but he doesn't want to spend much. Our least expensive option. Something about lawsuits and settlements blah blah blah.

Nike rep #2: Yeah, I know this guy. Give me a minute Steve to think on this one.

5 seconds later.

Jim: Steve, I've got this. Do we still have those bins of surplus canary yellow unis we never used?

Steve: Yes. Phil never throws anything away. But those are yellow, not gold.

Jim: It doesn't matter. It has been decades since Iowa fans have known the difference between yellow and gold. Does that old guy who came over from APEX still work here?

Steve: You mean Vern that works in the storage room downstairs? As far as I know.

Jim: Does he still have those boxes of banana peel iron-ons?

Steve: Ah. I see where you are going with this. Yes, Vern is the self-described Jimi Hendrix of uniform design. He was a man before his time. Poor guy.

Jim: Well, now is his time to shine. Tell Vern to dust off those peels and modify them. Get a little crazy but still keep the nostalgia. Iowa fans eat that stuff up, especially anything Hayden Fry related.

Steve: Helmets? Shoes?

Jim: Nah. They are too cheap for that.

Steve: What do we charge them?

Jim: Charge 'em full price but tell Barta we are giving them to him at 50% off.

Steve: Man you are a genius.

Jim: Nah. It just depends on the situation.
Hey, I just had a thought. Do we still have that container of defective white cleats from that last Indonesian shipment?

Steve: You mean the ones with the bad glue?

Jim: Yeah those. Tell Barta they will really pop under the lights and they are special limited edition shoes. One of a kind. Tell him they are 10% less than the black ones.

Steve: Sounds good.

One minute later.

Steve: Hook, line and sinker. Barta said, and I quote, "Golly gee. It is an honor and privilege working with you guys. Maybe if it isn't too much trouble we could discuss a lifetime contract. We would make it well worth your while."

Jim: Grinning from ear-to-ear. Wow. Get Phil on the line. He will want to hear this one.

 

[tksirius]

NIKE HEADQUARTERS

Nike rep #1: Jim, that Gary Dotard guy from Iowa is on Line 2.

The two men chuckle.

He wants to do alts for the upcoming season but he doesn't want to spend much. Our least expensive option. Something about lawsuits and settlements blah blah blah.

Nike rep #2: Yeah, I know this guy. Give me a minute Steve to think on this one.

5 seconds later.

Jim: Steve, I've got this. Do we still have those bins of surplus canary yellow unis we never used?

Steve: Yes. Phil never throws anything away. But those are yellow, not gold.

Jim: It doesn't matter. It has been decades since Iowa fans have known the difference between yellow and gold. Does that old guy who came over from APEX still work here?

Steve: You mean Vern that works in the storage room downstairs? As far as I know.

Jim: Does he still have those boxes of banana peel iron-ons?

Steve: Ah. I see where you are going with this. Yes, Vern is the self-described Jimi Hendrix of uniform design. He was a man before his time. Poor guy.

Jim: Well, now is his time to shine. Tell Vern to dust off those peels and modify them. Get a little crazy but still keep the nostalgia. Iowa fans eat that stuff up, especially anything Hayden Fry related.

Steve: Helmets? Shoes?

Jim: Nah. They are too cheap for that.

Steve: What do we charge them?

Jim: Charge 'em full price but tell Barta we are giving them to him at 50% off.

Steve: Man you are a genius.

Jim: Nah. It just depends on the situation.
Hey, I just had a thought. Do we still have that container of defective white cleats from that last Indonesian shipment?

Steve: You mean the ones with the bad glue?

Jim: Yeah those. Tell Barta they will really pop under the lights and they are special limited edition shoes. One of a kind. Tell him they are only 10% less than the black ones.

Steve: Sounds good.

One minute later.

Steve: Hook, line and sinker. Barta said, and I quote, "Golly gee. It is an honor and privilege working with you guys. Maybe if it isn't too much trouble we could discuss a lifetime contract. We would make it well worth your while."

Jim: Grinning from ear-to-ear. Wow. Get Phil on the line. He will want to hear this one.

It'll be pretty funny if those banana peel iron-ons start falling off in the 3rd quarter.

 

[hawkeyebob62]

NIKE HEADQUARTERS

Nike rep #1: Jim, that Gary Dotard guy from Iowa is on Line 2.

The two men chuckle.

He wants to do alts for the upcoming season but he doesn't want to spend much. Our least expensive option. Something about lawsuits and settlements blah blah blah.

Nike rep #2: Yeah, I know this guy. Give me a minute Steve to think on this one.

5 seconds later.

Jim: Steve, I've got this. Do we still have those bins of surplus canary yellow unis we never used?

Steve: Yes. Phil never throws anything away. But those are yellow, not gold.

Jim: It doesn't matter. It has been decades since Iowa fans have known the difference between yellow and gold. Does that old guy who came over from APEX still work here?

Steve: You mean Vern that works in the storage room downstairs? As far as I know.

Jim: Does he still have those boxes of banana peel iron-ons?

Steve: Ah. I see where you are going with this. Yes, Vern is the self-described Jimi Hendrix of uniform design. He was a man before his time. Poor guy.

Jim: Well, now is his time to shine. Tell Vern to dust off those peels and modify them. Get a little crazy but still keep the nostalgia. Iowa fans eat that stuff up, especially anything Hayden Fry related.

Steve: Helmets? Shoes?

Jim: Nah. They are too cheap for that.

Steve: What do we charge them?

Jim: Charge 'em full price but tell Barta we are giving them to him at 50% off.

Steve: Man you are a genius.

Jim: Nah. It just depends on the situation.
Hey, I just had a thought. Do we still have that container of defective white cleats from that last Indonesian shipment?

Steve: You mean the ones with the bad glue?

Jim: Yeah those. Tell Barta they will really pop under the lights and they are special limited edition shoes. One of a kind. Tell him they are 10% less than the black ones.

Steve: Sounds good.

One minute later.

Steve: Hook, line and sinker. Barta said, and I quote, "Golly gee. It is an honor and privilege working with you guys. Maybe if it isn't too much trouble we could discuss a lifetime contract. We would make it well worth your while."

Jim: Grinning from ear-to-ear. Wow. Get Phil on the line. He will want to hear this one.

You took that much time and went to that much trouble...just to make very not-funny post. Slow, slow clap for you.

 

[Ian Pike Hammer]

You took that much time and went to that much trouble...just to make very not-funny post. Slow, slow clap for you.

I thought it was hilarious!

 

[HawkleberryFinn]

For all the glamor shots and hype, we better win that damn game.

 

[Ian Pike Hammer]

It'll be pretty funny if those banana peel iron-ons start falling off in the 3rd quarter.

that wood necessitate changing to flag football

 

[DDThompson]

Black stripes on shoulders makes it look like their head is stuck in stocks or vise.

 

[DDThompson]

I think it is really easy for people to criticize when they are not the ones coming up with ideas that are being put out there for public critique. A good rule of thumb: if you think highly paid and accomplished professionals are terrible at their job and you could do better, you probably do not understand their job that well.

You don't have to like their design ideas, and we are all free to critique, but to think you could easily come up with better designs is silly. Go ahead, mock up your ideas, put them out there for public consumption, see how things go.

Any photographer at JC Penny’s knows that if the fam wears blue-based clothing to the photo shoot you don’t pull down the blue backdrop.

Wait ... am I old enough to remember that actually happening?

Still ... the point holds through the ages from caveman who didn’t use gray chalk to draw on gray cave walls the Sabre tooth chasing him up through JC Penny family photo shoots

 

[DDThompson]

NIKE HEADQUARTERS

Nike rep #1: Jim, that Gary Dotard guy from Iowa is on Line 2.

The two men chuckle.

He wants to do alts for the upcoming season but he doesn't want to spend much. Our least expensive option. Something about lawsuits and settlements blah blah blah.

Nike rep #2: Yeah, I know this guy. Give me a minute Steve to think on this one.

5 seconds later.

Jim: Steve, I've got this. Do we still have those bins of surplus canary yellow unis we never used?

Steve: Yes. Phil never throws anything away. But those are yellow, not gold.

Jim: It doesn't matter. It has been decades since Iowa fans have known the difference between yellow and gold. Does that old guy who came over from APEX still work here?

Steve: You mean Vern that works in the storage room downstairs? As far as I know.

Jim: Does he still have those boxes of banana peel iron-ons?

Steve: Ah. I see where you are going with this. Yes, Vern is the self-described Jimi Hendrix of uniform design. He was a man before his time. Poor guy.

Jim: Well, now is his time to shine. Tell Vern to dust off those peels and modify them. Get a little crazy but still keep the nostalgia. Iowa fans eat that stuff up, especially anything Hayden Fry related.

Steve: Helmets? Shoes?

Jim: Nah. They are too cheap for that.

Steve: What do we charge them?

Jim: Charge 'em full price but tell Barta we are giving them to him at 50% off.

Steve: Man you are a genius.

Jim: Nah. It just depends on the situation.
Hey, I just had a thought. Do we still have that container of defective white cleats from that last Indonesian shipment?

Steve: You mean the ones with the bad glue?

Jim: Yeah those. Tell Barta they will really pop under the lights and they are special limited edition shoes. One of a kind. Tell him they are 10% less than the black ones.

Steve: Sounds good.

One minute later.

Steve: Hook, line and sinker. Barta said, and I quote, "Golly gee. It is an honor and privilege working with you guys. Maybe if it isn't too much trouble we could discuss a lifetime contract. We would make it well worth your while."

Jim: Grinning from ear-to-ear. Wow. Get Phil on the line. He will want to hear this one.

I smiled through most of it and burst at white shoes and Indonesian

Pretty funny

****/

 

[thedukeofearl]

Word going around is that this will be the new Iowa Mascot

 

[Robowe]

Any photographer at JC Penny’s knows that if the fam wears blue-based clothing to the photo shoot you don’t pull down the blue backdrop.

Wait ... am I old enough to remember that actually happening?

Still ... the point holds through the ages from caveman who didn’t use gray chalk to draw on gray cave walls the Sabre tooth chasing him up through JC Penny family photo shoots

Are you sure?

 

[SpiderRico]

I'm pretty sure the demographic they're trying to hit with these alternates is guys in the age range of 15-24....not "get off my lawn" guys in the 45-64 range.

So in that respect, these uniforms are a slam dunk because pretty much everyone in the target demo that I know thinks they're awesome.

 

[BVHawk95]

I'm pretty sure the demographic they're trying to hit with these alternates is guys in the age range of 15-24....not "get off my lawn" guys in the 45-64 range.

So in that respect, these uniforms are a slam dunk because pretty much everyone in the target demo that I know thinks they're awesome.

Eh, I don't think that's what they're going for when they do alts.

Plus, I'm 23 and much prefer traditional uniforms over flashy ones.

 

[SpiderRico]

Eh, I don't think that's what they're going for when they do alts.

Plus, I'm 23 and much prefer traditional uniforms over flashy ones.

It absolutely is. It's marketing and it's what young kids coming out of high school want to see. It's why they make a big social media production of it now. Back in 2015, when we did the all-black alts against Minnesota, the way people found out about it was they were on a mannequin at Scheel's.....

 

[BVHawk95]

It absolutely is. It's marketing and it's what young kids coming out of high school want to see. It's why they make a big social media production of it now. Back in 2015, when we did the all-black alts against Minnesota, the way people found out about it was they were on a mannequin at Scheel's.....

You're thinking of the hideous black and silver ones from 2012. Our marketing has improved immensely since then, as we rolled out the 2015 alts with a slick music video teaser.

 

[#1DieHardHawk]

Are you sure?

This has to be from one of the "Awkward Family Photos" line that is frequently seen on greeting cards.

That stuff is absolutely hilarious, mainly due to the fact that the photos weren't intended to be funny. I'm always keeping an eye open for those cards.