GhostofBTT
Banned
The good thing about tailgating is that you’re drunk. The bad part of tailgating is that you eventually stop being drunk and have to face the world again. This is not only the best way to describe the experience of every Hawkeye fan who had nothing to do but sit on their hands for 57 minutes on Saturday, but also the experience of every hope and dream that the off season brings into the minds and hearts of optimistic Hawk fans across the country. But at least those fans in Chicago could buy a $9.00 beer to stave off the hangover and watch us eek by, what is by any account, a better team than Michigan faced last Saturday. The rest of us have to deal with the headache of the post-summer hangover for another four months, with no one to blame but ourselves, because we are the ones who spent the entire year chugging can after can of unrealistic expectations that with a new coaching staff, everything would be different this year.
When I think of Kurt’s success at Iowa, there are many people responsible for helping him attain so much success. However, a crazy thought crossed my mind as I was watching play after play of a MAC defensive line shredding our front 5…what if Ken O’Keefe was responsible for Kurt’s success. Stay with me here; think back on all of the things that KOK got blamed for. Boring offense, predictable play calling, quarterback regression, having that stupid Don Knotts look on his face all the time…what if that was Kurt the whole time? When the o-line plays like a colander and our QB and WR’s are clearly unable to grasp an offense that was developed past 1974, that’s all Kurt.
But still, KOK sucks.
I would like to say a few quick words about Damon Bullock. He looked very good. However, I don’t know much about him, so I have no idea how his career and life will inevitably unravel in the next few weeks. Will he flunk out? Punch a cop? Lose a leg in an ill-conceived, impromptu lumberjack competition Doyle comes up with? Part of me is happy for his success. A bigger part of me is hoping he retires to a monastery before his dorm loft crushes him in his sleep in a freak accident.
I never really got the JVB hype. People have considered him the third coming of the Chucks for years, almost solely on the strength of his hard fought loss at OSU way back when. Besides that, why have so many Hawk fans bought in, despite the fact the guy clearly does not have…it? Is it his hawt mom? Sorry, but if you want me to believe you’re a top tier QB in Hawkeye history, at least gimme a hawt sister or something. She defiantly has to be under 30. Even James Morris thinks that JVB gets over-hyped despite never doing anything in his career. What's his mom look like?
Another annoying facet of the JVB hype? It gets in the way of the Jake Rudock hype.
I don’t think everything I saw was bad. I must be the only one. Now everyone thinks Iowa State is going to kick our *****? You do remember they’re Iowa State right? It took them 3 overtimes to beat us at home last year, and last year’s team was, in my opinion, worse than this one. This is a team that still celebrates every first down like it’s New Year’s Eve. This is a program that thinks it’s a burn when your former AD is now their commissioner. The only way they’re getting out of Kinnick with a W is if they jump one of the male cheerleaders who waves the giant flag.
All in all, I think sometimes people take the game too seriously. If you’re having an emotional outburst because of the events of a college football game, you’re doing it wrong. God put college football on this Earth for one reason; to give us a chance to drink beer and ignore our wives during the weekend. It is also why He invented golf and children's birthday parties. God invented the internet for porn and for making fun of people anonymously so they can’t kick your ***. Perhaps they shouldn't be mixed together with alcohol...You got that you pack of slobbering idiots?
didntread.gif
When I think of Kurt’s success at Iowa, there are many people responsible for helping him attain so much success. However, a crazy thought crossed my mind as I was watching play after play of a MAC defensive line shredding our front 5…what if Ken O’Keefe was responsible for Kurt’s success. Stay with me here; think back on all of the things that KOK got blamed for. Boring offense, predictable play calling, quarterback regression, having that stupid Don Knotts look on his face all the time…what if that was Kurt the whole time? When the o-line plays like a colander and our QB and WR’s are clearly unable to grasp an offense that was developed past 1974, that’s all Kurt.
But still, KOK sucks.
I would like to say a few quick words about Damon Bullock. He looked very good. However, I don’t know much about him, so I have no idea how his career and life will inevitably unravel in the next few weeks. Will he flunk out? Punch a cop? Lose a leg in an ill-conceived, impromptu lumberjack competition Doyle comes up with? Part of me is happy for his success. A bigger part of me is hoping he retires to a monastery before his dorm loft crushes him in his sleep in a freak accident.
I never really got the JVB hype. People have considered him the third coming of the Chucks for years, almost solely on the strength of his hard fought loss at OSU way back when. Besides that, why have so many Hawk fans bought in, despite the fact the guy clearly does not have…it? Is it his hawt mom? Sorry, but if you want me to believe you’re a top tier QB in Hawkeye history, at least gimme a hawt sister or something. She defiantly has to be under 30. Even James Morris thinks that JVB gets over-hyped despite never doing anything in his career. What's his mom look like?
Another annoying facet of the JVB hype? It gets in the way of the Jake Rudock hype.
I don’t think everything I saw was bad. I must be the only one. Now everyone thinks Iowa State is going to kick our *****? You do remember they’re Iowa State right? It took them 3 overtimes to beat us at home last year, and last year’s team was, in my opinion, worse than this one. This is a team that still celebrates every first down like it’s New Year’s Eve. This is a program that thinks it’s a burn when your former AD is now their commissioner. The only way they’re getting out of Kinnick with a W is if they jump one of the male cheerleaders who waves the giant flag.
All in all, I think sometimes people take the game too seriously. If you’re having an emotional outburst because of the events of a college football game, you’re doing it wrong. God put college football on this Earth for one reason; to give us a chance to drink beer and ignore our wives during the weekend. It is also why He invented golf and children's birthday parties. God invented the internet for porn and for making fun of people anonymously so they can’t kick your ***. Perhaps they shouldn't be mixed together with alcohol...You got that you pack of slobbering idiots?
didntread.gif
