How long does it take to type up a PR?

Gohawks123

Well-Known Member
It's gotta be more than just Jewel....rumors are flying everywhere, and if it was just Jewel they would have tried to release something ASAP to get in front of this thing. Just my opinion.
 




Twitter traffic says it's re: Jewel and Jewel alone.

Of course, if it's coming from Ferentz, he's probably trying to figure out how to word the statement which effectively will accomplish 1) telling us nothing, while 2) insulting our intelligence.
 


Hopefully not much longer. I'm going to get fired because I've accomplished absolutely nothing while waiting for the news. I want all the rumors laid to rest so I can wake up and start cheering for those Hawkeyes who are left to carry the team.
 






You all simply do not understand the complexity of creating a press release. Let me help you out:

1) Contact KF, dd=3
2) Get statements/facts, dd=6
3) Translate "coachspeak" into real English, dd=7.5
4) Contact KF, dd=3
5) Confirm translation of "coachspeak", dd=8.5
5a) In most cases, start over - goto (2)
6) Translate real English into "PRspeak", dd=5.5
7) Intentionally "dumb down" statement for Western Iowa "reporters", dd=7.8
8) "Dumb down" statement even further for Pat Hardy, dd=9.8
9) "Dumb down" statement even further for Sean Keeler, dd=10
10) Run statements by 26 lawyers in legal department, dd=10
10a) If they don't change/reject it, they aren't doing anything, so go back to (6) at least 26 times
11) Mentally prepare for stupid responses to PR, dd=14
12) Send out Press Release, dd=6
12a) Please note that this step requires the use of an electronic device, so the first step is to find an 11 year-old to use device
13) Answer stupid questions about PR that, in fact, really says nothing, dd=12
14) Explain to KF why PR is nothing like what he said, dd=10

* dd= degree of difficulty on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being easy and 10 being impossible
 
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