The Shadow on College Football Coach Rumors

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OO44

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My friend, The Shadow, has received a call from his counterpart in the SEC, the Mouth of the South.
His last info on the Honey Badger being a druggie was accurate so let's put these to the test:

1. UT- Derek Dooley may be gone as early as Sunday. A war chest is being built for their #1 target, Jon Gruden. Gruden's father was a big buddy of Johnny Majors. Johnny hired Gruden as a GA and Jon met his
Tennessee cheerlader wife in Knoxville. Package could be $50 million for 10 years. Other names on their list include Jimbo Fisher. Jimbo has not received the facility enhancements that he was promised at FSU.
The money is there.

2. Arkansas-Walton money will be important here as it was for the $300 million in facilities. They want somebody bigger than Butch Davis or Charlie Strong. Does that mean Tommy Tubberville or a coach from the NFL? Money will be no object.

3. Allbarn-Two years from polishing the glass, Chizek could be out on his Assssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. A projected 3-9 overall record and 0-9 in the SEC is only half the problem. Alabama is #1 and Allbarn fans can't stand it. Moral and ethical standards will not be a problem
so look for Bobby Petrino who the Allbarn AD wanted to hire when Bobby was at Louisville.

4. The fly in the ointment is TEXAS. If Mack Brown is gone, the oil money will flow for their top pick.
The Mouth is an SEC guy, but has agent contacts that tell him Chip Kelly would be on the Longhorn's list.
 
Wouldn't hate any of those moves, though if Auburn hires petrino they are idiots. I like the Jon Gruden angle for Tennessee, but I don't know if I see Mack Brown going anywhere.
 
Hiring Petrino would be genius. The guy can coach with the best of them. Just give him a discreet place to plow the football staffers, and keep him away from motorcycles. The 10 win seasons will follow.
 
What happened to the whole Chip Kelly paying street agents thing? Did that just vaporize?

Only Auburn would hire Petrino.
 
Shouldn't Tennessee hire that Mike McQueary dude from pedo state? His hair is naturally Volunteer Orange. It's a PR home run.
 
They should do this and hire Carrottop as their strength and conditioning coach.

lol-face.jpg
 
I think Petrino will have a lot of opportunities in the near future. He's a great coach, but a bad person. Perfect for the SEC.

Would you rather have a guy who cheats on his wife and 10+ wins a year, or a "nice guy" who goes 7-5 most years?
 
Would you rather have a guy who cheats on his wife and 10+ wins a year, or a "nice guy" who goes 7-5 most years?

I'll take the former. Srs.
I mean, it was consensual; he ain't rapey or sanduskyish.
 
That guy does not exist, ATL. :(

A guy can dream, can't he, Scorp?

On Bobby Petrino: I don't have a problem at all with the women... that's between him and his wife.

However, the gutless way he left the Falcons in the middle of the night (literally), in mid-season no less, and left the players cute little notes on their lockers... that's what I have the problem with. I don't care how good he is (and I think he's one of the best college coaches around), I couldn't root for him if he was getting us 12 wins a year. Well... maybe just one Natty would be ok... but after that, no way.:eek:
 
I believe none of it until I hear it from The Original Oracle of Dippi® , The Inside Source.
 
Get back to me when you reach legendary status.

If that gives you a boost, good for you. Honestly not something I strive for, though. In fact, if I ever get there I'm going to seriously re-evaluate the way I use my time. The only way I've even reached senior status is that I've been laid up and am bored out of my mind with nothing else to do. Nobody can have that many relevant things to say... "Derp, +1, chad, various "hilarious" memes, etc, etc, etc don't count.

Jon should rename the top classification "HN Legend In Your Own Mind".
 
If that gives you a boost, good for you. Honestly not something I strive for, though. In fact, if I ever get there I'm going to seriously re-evaluate the way I use my time. The only way I've even reached senior status is that I've been laid up and am bored out of my mind with nothing else to do. Nobody can have that many relevant things to say... "Derp, +1, chad, various "hilarious" memes, etc, etc, etc don't count.

Jon should rename the top classification "HN Legend In Your Own Mind".

y u mad ATL??
 

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