I have figured out why Iowa has lost 2 games

goods10

goods10

Well-Known Member
After some careful analysis of this past weekend reflecting back on the Iowa game and the season in general I have figured out why Iowa lost to ISU and Penn State.

It has nothing to do with coaching, execution, etc...

It has everything to do with the onesie my 4 mo old baby girl has worn during both losses. It is the only common thing I can find so it must be it. I have instructed my wife that baby Good #2 never wears that on an Iowa game day ever again.

Now this season is saved and we move on to VICTORY! GO HAWKS!
 
Thanks. Whew.

I have also instructed the coaching staff to throw a couple of passes beyond 10 yards in the future. Let's keep our fingers crossed.
 
Im also partly to blame for the losses too (and my wife). Our 3 month old has worn a black and gold Hawkeye onesie during all 3 of our victories but against ISU and PSU he was not wearing it. This will not happen again.
 
What the hell people? Get the ******* memo. Make sure your babies are dressed correctly for the rest of our games! Can't believe this incompetence...
 
I don't know, guys, I've worn different gear for both wins and losses so just not quite convinced it's the wardrobe.

However, I do think I'm onto something with the following:

BOTH games were played on the road.
BOTH games I could not attend.

Plenty of evidence there to start an investigation.

(For example, who's the brainiac that came up with the idea that we have to travel to the opponents' field to play. Talk about inconvenience, not to mention it tends to offer an immediate advantage.
Then, what's the deal with the opponents' security denying my entry. I paid my contribution, I bought my season tickets. Are those games not part of the season? WTF, man?!)
 
And here I thought the losses were due to the fact that in both games the other team scored more points.
 
goods10 said:
After some careful analysis of this past weekend reflecting back on the Iowa game and the season in general I have figured out why Iowa lost to ISU and Penn State.

It has nothing to do with coaching, execution, etc...

It has everything to do with the onesie my 4 mo old baby girl has worn during both losses. It is the only common thing I can find so it must be it. I have instructed my wife that baby Good #2 never wears that on an Iowa game day ever again.

Now this season is saved and we move on to VICTORY! GO HAWKS!
Click to expand...

If that proves out to be true then I'll shake your hand for figuring it out and saving our season, followed by a swift kick to the nuts for the 2 losses :) Just kidding, but seriously...
 
It's actually due to me not flying my hawkeye flags on my pickup...... They weren't attached for either loss......:(
 
goods10 said:
After some careful analysis of this past weekend reflecting back on the Iowa game and the season in general I have figured out why Iowa lost to ISU and Penn State.

It has nothing to do with coaching, execution, etc...

It has everything to do with the onesie my 4 mo old baby girl has worn during both losses. It is the only common thing I can find so it must be it. I have instructed my wife that baby Good #2 never wears that on an Iowa game day ever again.

Now this season is saved and we move on to VICTORY! GO HAWKS!
Click to expand...

You should probably just burn it. Who knows what it is ruining for Hawkeyenation on Wednesdays when your baby wears it. I mean come on man. Think of the greater good.
 
Well I'm in a real dilemma. I have had two Hawk parties this year and........you guessed it, they were during both losses. I feel I owe HN a huge aplogy for totally jinxing our beloved Hawks.
I don't know whats happened. In 2009 I was 4-0, in 2010 3-1, and along came 2011, and I fall flat on my face. I'm going to host the Meatchicken game later this year and quite frankly I'm scared to death. You see my friends are...well...how can I put this delicately...In-fricken-sane when it comes to their Hawks. They haven't come out and physically threatened me, but after the loss to the clowns, the mood was surly to say the least. Then, after the loss this weekend, they all just gave me a dirty look and left without saying a word. There were some mumblings, but I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying. It was something about bringing weapons to the next party, or maybe they were saying we didn't have enough weapons against PSU. Whatever it was, I think you can see why I'm so apprehensive about my next party.

Here's my question, and I hope I can get some good advice. Does anyone know of an exorcism or some sort of an anti-curse I could preform in my cave or on my person to shed this ugly demon?

Thanks in advance ,

Signed : Possessed in Des Moines
 
You people think you know enough to criticize the coaching staff, yet believe in superstitious ********?
 
ICHawk24 said:
You people think you know enough to criticize the coaching staff, yet believe in superstitious ********?
Click to expand...
funny-dog-pictures-over-head.jpg


fff827fb-75a4-4c88-8c65-0c1bc8464235.jpg
 
scourt said:
Well I'm in a real dilemma. I have had two Hawk parties this year and........you guessed it, they were during both losses. I feel I owe HN a huge aplogy for totally jinxing our beloved Hawks.
I don't know whats happened. In 2009 I was 4-0, in 2010 3-1, and along came 2011, and I fall flat on my face. I'm going to host the Meatchicken game later this year and quite frankly I'm scared to death. You see my friends are...well...how can I put this delicately...In-fricken-sane when it comes to their Hawks. They haven't come out and physically threatened me, but after the loss to the clowns, the mood was surly to say the least. Then, after the loss this weekend, they all just gave me a dirty look and left without saying a word. There were some mumblings, but I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying. It was something about bringing weapons to the next party, or maybe they were saying we didn't have enough weapons against PSU. Whatever it was, I think you can see why I'm so apprehensive about my next party.

Here's my question, and I hope I can get some good advice. Does anyone know of an exorcism or some sort of an anti-curse I could preform in my cave or on my person to shed this ugly demon?

Thanks in advance ,

Signed : Possessed in Des Moines
Click to expand...

I don't hear anything about an appropriate sacrifice to the football gods in your story. Did you forget that? If you did, it is your fault. Every Hawkeye party needs a sacrifice of some living thing. Preferably, it will be some sort of animal, but a ficus will suffice in a pinch. Also, pre-packaged meat does not count.
 
And I put my one year old in a pink McNutt jersey for both the ISU and Penn State games. That is the only days she has worn it. Dang it...my bad!
 
Last edited:
Sounds like I need to have a kid so that I can dress the kid for Iowa's success. I'll let my wife know about the change in plans. Sure she'll be pleased.
 
CAARHawk said:
I don't hear anything about an appropriate sacrifice to the football gods in your story. Did you forget that? If you did, it is your fault. Every Hawkeye party needs a sacrifice of some living thing. Preferably, it will be some sort of animal, but a ficus will suffice in a pinch. Also, pre-packaged meat does not count.
Click to expand...
Thanks CAAR, I never even thought of a sacrifice to the football gods. I suppose the crab dip doesn't count either. Wait, what about my wi...."Honey where are you?"

I kid.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Share this page

Top