I dream of the day we have something resembling this...

[bcl20]

Hey old guy. I know you've likely spent the last 10 years or so trying to figure out what a web browser is (get it, cause you're old), jokes have been used on the interwebs, many times about how you're so dumb that you're mother and father must help you do such and such. Come up with something better.

Also, and I can't emphasize this enough, you're old.

 

[GhostofBTT]

I want to have a jumbotron that says "Beware the knitters" or something to that effect.

Sure, and then once you have a raucous crowd, you complain because you have no scarves or mittens!