Howe: Complicated Logistics in Navigating Roster without Fall Football

[trj]

It's very practical. Keep in mind that of the millions of kids playing sports in the US only a very, very tiny fraction of them will play beyond high school. And an even tinier fraction of those will play beyond college. I've been around youth sports long enough at both the parent and coaching level to know that in the vast majority of cases where a kid is playing at a club level such as AAU, USSSA, legion ball, etc, the parents are pushing it because it's a "my kid is just as good or better than your kid and I'm going to vicariously make up for my own shortcomings whether my kid likes it or not " contest. There are definitely cases where a kid is really, really talented and benefits from the increased level of competition and a rigorous schedule for their development. But again, in most situations it's a parent or parents who have decided that they're going to try to buy their kid a bunch of talent by spending tens of thousands on camps, fees, clinics, and hotels which is impossible. At the top level there is no amount of training or practice that's going to make your kid a college athlete. None. They were either born with that potential or they weren't.

Amateur club level youth stuff was intended as an organized recreational opportunity for kids to play sports when it started. But it's nothing more than a machine where parents throw GOBS of money at it hoping their kid is the next Mike Trout or Zion WIlliams, but the gamble almost never pays off. It just burns kids out and makes it a job that they hate (yes, moms and dads, no matter what you say your kid likely hates the AAU grind but they won't tell you because you want it more than them) instead of a fun sport that they can enjoy.

So in that respect it's very practical to raise a kid by not pressuring them into playing a sport if they don't want to. Statistically your kid isn't that one in a million unicorn player that you think he is and no amount of parent-pressured club sports is gonna change that.

It's very practical for them to have a part time job if they don't play sports or participate in other extra-curricular activities. Working and earning money can be a very valuable experience before going into the workforce.

It is not so much about getting your kid to the next level I am talking about the pressure a parent feels just to keep up. Not just sports, but academically, all of it. How do you keep helicopter parents out of your head in terms of am I doing enough for my kid?

 

[Fryowa]

It is not so much about getting your kid to the next level I am talking about the pressure a parent feels just to keep up. Not just sports, but academically, all of it. How do you keep helicopter parents out of your head in terms of am I doing enough for my kid?

You just have to be pragmatic and some people can’t do that.

I try to always be realistic about expectations and just reality in general. I see parents every year who spend tens of thousands of dollars and thousands of hours pushing their kid into every possible sport/league/workout/camp all because one time five years ago some washed up AAU coach said their kid had a really good jumper and did a nice job geting his elbows out after a rebound. All of a sudden there’s this spark of hope that their kid is the next big thing and the parents get visions of the kid getting scouted and playing “at the next level.”

One of my son’s classmates and teammates is a perfect example. He won a KOC free throw tourney a couple years ago in 5th grade, and someone put the bug in their ear about trying AAU. This kid is HORRIBLE at basketball, but he made a bunch of free throws. All of a sudden he’s going 76 miles one way to Sioux City three times a week, and going to Des Moines, Omaha, CR, Fargo, and every other goddamn place just to sit on the bench at tournaments and never play. But they keep on cranking out the payment plan every month. The coach is a washed up NAIA player who peaked before the internet was a thing, and he keeps them hanging on by telling them about all the “potential” he has and how he’s going to “break out” soon. Apparently it never dawned on his parents that this team doesn’t even have tryouts, and it’s supposed to be a competitive team? All you do is make your monthly payment and your kid is an “AAU player.” It’s just fucking ridiculous. In that respect I can be realistic and it’s not hard for me to not worry about keeping up.

Forcing kids into sports or band or FFA or dance what have you, or standing over them with a sledgehammer lest they get an A- instead of an A doesn’t make them better people with a better chance at succeeding, it turns them into maladjusted, neurotic kids who resent their parents.

I also don’t place my own expectations on my kid—whatsoever. The only expectation I have for him is that he puts full effort into his primary schooling and and that he doesn’t half ass his way through. Two things are universally paramount in all aspects of life—honesty and effort. It doesn’t cost a fucking dime to be an honest person and it doesn’t take smarts or ability to put forth effort. Those are my only two non negotiable things. Like me being on this site...most people here hate me, but you guys are getting 100% honesty and I don’t half ass my posts, lol. Like Tony Montana once said, “All I have in this world are my word and my balls. And I don’t break ‘em for nobody.”

If he doesn’t go to college and gets a job instead, that’s his deal as long as he’s happy. I want him to be self-sufficient, be a good person to himself and other people, and be happy. If he checks off those boxes being a ditch digger that’s cool.

I don’t know man. Maybe I’m just not wired to give a shit what other people think or do. Who knows...

 

[trj]

You just have to be pragmatic and some people can’t do that.

I try to always be realistic about expectations and just reality in general. I see parents every year who spend tens of thousands of dollars and thousands of hours pushing their kid into every possible sport/league/workout/camp all because one time five years ago some washed up AAU coach said their kid had a really good jumper and did a nice job geting his elbows out after a rebound. All of a sudden there’s this spark of hope that their kid is the next big thing and the parents get visions of the kid getting scouted and playing “at the next level.”

One of my son’s classmates and teammates is a perfect example. He won a KOC free throw tourney a couple years ago in 5th grade, and someone put the bug in their ear about trying AAU. This kid is HORRIBLE at basketball, but he made a bunch of free throws. All of a sudden he’s going 76 miles one way to Sioux City three times a week, and going to Des Moines, Omaha, CR, Fargo, and every other goddamn place just to sit on the bench at tournaments and never play. But they keep on cranking out the payment plan every month. The coach is a washed up NAIA player who peaked before the internet was a thing, and he keeps them hanging on by telling them about all the “potential” he has and how he’s going to “break out” soon. Apparently it never dawned on his parents that this team doesn’t even have tryouts, and it’s supposed to be a competitive team? All you do is make your monthly payment and your kid is an “AAU player.” It’s just fucking ridiculous. In that respect I can be realistic and it’s not hard for me to not worry about keeping up.

Forcing kids into sports or band or FFA or dance what have you, or standing over them with a sledgehammer lest they get an A- instead of an A doesn’t make them better people with a better chance at succeeding, it turns them into maladjusted, neurotic kids who resent their parents.

I also don’t place my own expectations on my kid—whatsoever. The only expectation I have for him is that he puts full effort into his primary schooling and and that he doesn’t half ass his way through. If he doesn’t go to college and instead gets a job, that’s his deal as long as he’s happy. I want him to be self-sufficient, be a good person to himself and other people, and be happy. If he checks off those boxes being a ditch digger that’s cool.

I don’t know man. Maybe I’m just not wired to give a shit what other people think or do. Who knows...

Don’t get it twisted I am not judging at all. Just asking questions as a non-parent.

 

[Fryowa]

Don’t get it twisted I am not judging at all. Just asking questions as a non-parent.

I didn’t take it that way at all. Totally valid questions