okeefe4prez
Well-Known Member
Please cut and paste into an email and shoot to the UCONN AD. Please take out brackets and change name at the end. A few dozen of these and we will have a new OC next year.
Dear Mr. Hathaway:
Though I am not a UConn alumnus (Yale '86), whilst growing up I was quite a fan of UConn athletics. As a Yale man, I cheer first for Yale, but since Yale and UConn do not compete academically or athletically (Yale is far superior in both endeavors), I also currently support UConn. Some of the underclass of men, those men not as well educated as you and I, speak of a mythical "next level" to which the UConn football team should aspire. After reviewing the potential candidates, I have deduced that no man is better for the job than Mr. Ken O'Keefe. Mr. O'Keefe is a refined man of east coast roots and will be spoken of highly at the pre-game festivities that I frequently host, where only the finest wines and cheeses are served. He runs a controlled style of offense that will prevent the stadium from becoming too loud as fans cheer following big plays, which will undeoubtedly enhance everyone's gameday experience.
I have done the research, and as I am a Yale man, you can take me at my word that Mr. O'Keefe would be the right man to take UConn football to the "next level" and I envision him putting UConn football on par with the UConn women's basketball team in terms of on the field success. To show my support for Mr. O'Keefe, if he is hired, I will direct my charitable trust to donate the sum of $10 million (ZB) [DECREASE FONT SIZE - note this means Zimbabwe currency, which was hyperinflated into nothingness - please cut this bracketed provision out of your letter] to the UConn Athletic Department. Thank you for time and consideration.
Dr. Chester Worthington, III
New Canaan, Connecticut
Dear Mr. Hathaway:
Though I am not a UConn alumnus (Yale '86), whilst growing up I was quite a fan of UConn athletics. As a Yale man, I cheer first for Yale, but since Yale and UConn do not compete academically or athletically (Yale is far superior in both endeavors), I also currently support UConn. Some of the underclass of men, those men not as well educated as you and I, speak of a mythical "next level" to which the UConn football team should aspire. After reviewing the potential candidates, I have deduced that no man is better for the job than Mr. Ken O'Keefe. Mr. O'Keefe is a refined man of east coast roots and will be spoken of highly at the pre-game festivities that I frequently host, where only the finest wines and cheeses are served. He runs a controlled style of offense that will prevent the stadium from becoming too loud as fans cheer following big plays, which will undeoubtedly enhance everyone's gameday experience.
I have done the research, and as I am a Yale man, you can take me at my word that Mr. O'Keefe would be the right man to take UConn football to the "next level" and I envision him putting UConn football on par with the UConn women's basketball team in terms of on the field success. To show my support for Mr. O'Keefe, if he is hired, I will direct my charitable trust to donate the sum of $10 million (ZB) [DECREASE FONT SIZE - note this means Zimbabwe currency, which was hyperinflated into nothingness - please cut this bracketed provision out of your letter] to the UConn Athletic Department. Thank you for time and consideration.
Dr. Chester Worthington, III
New Canaan, Connecticut
