Appropriate Analogies for Iowa Football 2015?

ProfessorHawk

ProfessorHawk

Active Member
Much like the head football coach at The University of Iowa, I must admit, I basically got nothin'.

Jon and Deace appear to have regarded Kurt's latest presser in much the manner evinced by the Titanic's string quartet as the vast ship floundered and sank. ("That's football, I got nothin'")

Down with the ship, I guess. No reason for hope, apparently, nor really for fear either, just a stoic willingness to face a grim fate.

Is Iowa Football analogous to a tired Ford Focus, groaning with abrading wheel bearings? Are we nearing the point where the damn wheels fall off the axles? Sad, old tires rolling forlornly onwards, oblivious to the shower of sparks behind them as the decrepit, smoking hulk shrieks to an abrupt arrest?

Like hands liberated from a decapitated corpse, guided by mere momentum, those ancient wheels keep on a-rollin', down to a stinky and sunless ditch, somewhere over by Newton's sewage fermentator.

Is this an apt analog?

Dr. Prof
 
We could make a thread as long as the famed Stross Thread by sharing analogies and metaphors for Iowa's football team.
 
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Iowa is like the General Lee. More built into it than just parts, but a lot of spirit. They started with 0 Big 10 wins and became undefeated Big 10 champions. People try to put the the team down in the most devious of ways. However the team rises to the occasion again and again by doing what it takes. This includes a 4 wheel drive conversion, spikes, a race car engine found in a wreck etc etc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0m0hTrtlWM
 
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The 2014 team reminded me of the 2011 team. 7-6 with blowout loss in bowl game, and with a bad defense and under-rated offense.

But does that mean 2015 will be like 2012? Probably not. No coaching changes this time, but there is a new starting QB. Both are different from 2012.

Actually I expect 2015 to be a lot like 2011 again. New starting QB, Pitt at Home. Same coaches. 7-6 with blowout loss in bowl game.

Actually I expect 2015 to be
 
A toaster. Can do bread REALLY well, actually a variety of breads. Eggos? Yep. English muffins? Sure.
But definitely not a microwave; something capable of servicing a variety of items in different ways. Reheat lasagna? Oh-yeah. Cook some frozen veggies? Check. Boil water? O.K.
Also not a stove. Bake homemade chocolate chip cookies? For sure. Seared scallops? Yup. Slow roast some prime rib? Ab-so-lutely.
Yes, Iowa compares well to a toaster. Can do certain things REALLY well, but ultimately is limited to those certain things....creating a very low ceiling, predictability, and of course staleness.
 
Iowa football has fallen 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.
 
Dear Professor,

Good morning. My great fear is that this is what Iowa fans will observe this season.

Have a good day.

Regards,

The Observer

trainwreck.gif
 
Considering the expected size and speed differential between this Iowa team and most of the rest of its conference opponents, I think this is an appropriate analogy.

Brutal. But appropriate.

john-lickliter-chris-kramer-e-twaun-moore-2009-12-30-0-10-50_medium.jpg
 
WinOneThisCentury said:
Hope and Change. Or a better use of these words would be: Hope for a Change. We could also throw in a "Yes We Can" for good measure also.
Click to expand...

Wait, those were just slogans. My analogy would be aimed at any of the "reality TV / Housewifes of Whatever." It's a trainwreck, and you know what's going to happen, yet you still have hope that NeNe is going to forgive Kim, and they will become besties again.

I still have hope Kirk Ferentz that you can coach your way out of this malaise.
 
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