GhostofBTT
Banned
Those of you who know me know that I am a bold man. I made a number of bold statements regarding how awful Iowa State was, and how much they suck, and how they’re a joke, and how pathetic their fans are for feeling they have the slightest hint of relevance.
Well, after returning from the depths of drunken despair since this abortion of a game was completed, I am here to tell you that I was RIGHT…again. Iowa State does suck, they are a joke, and their fans are pathetic. Sure, I could sit and grumble that we suck worse, and blah blah blah, but what I will choose to dwell on is the fact that, outside of predicting ISU would lose, I was dead right about everything.
Last week, I floated a little trial balloon of a theory that KOK was keeping Kurt in check all these years, and with Ken gone, Kurt will go mad with power. Keeping in mind here that the way I was coping with the weekend by reminding myself how right I was…how freaking right was I? In order for an offense to suck that bad, there has to be a consistent and intentional effort to not giving a ****. While KOK may have been incompetent, I am pretty sure Gregg Davis is just coaching at Iowa to bridge his income before he gets full Social Security benefits.
I mean, after the 5th dropped pass on a crucial play in a rivalry game, should the receivers be getting their ***** chewed like they’re wearing hamburger undies in a pitbull cage? Shouldn’t the guys who keep failing get the hell out of the way of the people who haven’t? My only guess is that Iowa’s receivers were looking for 10 year contracts from Jamie Pollard, because where else do you get rewarded like that for failing on the football field? I have a feeling Greg Davis was not thinking about the next play on offense, but his next move in bridge club, which he’ll be late for if they don’t hurry up and get this game over with.
While we’re dumping on coaches, doesn’t it look like Brian Ferentz is his dad’s opposite in everyway, including always fielding great lines?
I am not prepared to write this season off as a loss yet, just because we are about to enter conference play in a conference that is the living embodiment of every SEC stereotype for the past 20 years. When scoring 6 points at home against Iowa State is not the most embarrassing conference loss of the week, you’ve got an easy schedule ahead of you.
Tell me if you have read this story before; Iowa will get better as the season drags on, ISU will get worse. At least last year when they beat us they looked impressive. This year, they looked ridiculous, which honestly is hard to do against a team as miserable as Iowa. If Iowa State fans are sitting there asking for respect now, you’re not going to get it. You’re the turd in the bowl that floated to the top. That’s the turd that always, eventually, gets ****** on.
If I were a bear in Southeastern Iowa, I would be very nervous about now, because next year, a certain someone is going to have all of his Sundays free for hunting. Also, does anyone know what Jake Rudock’s mom looks like?
To wrap things up here, my advice to you for surviving this season is to keep drinking, and save your beer cans. You will need to drink, and you will need to drink a lot. Some of you may have to switch from a premium brand like Busch Light to something moar affordable like whatever else it is you people drink in order to afford it. The economy is bananas brah. Anyways, Iowa looks like crap, and they are crap, but they’re still going to win 8 games this year. You will be angry all year anyways. At least until we crush our real hated rivals; Minnesota and Purdue.
**** YOU PETE!
Well, after returning from the depths of drunken despair since this abortion of a game was completed, I am here to tell you that I was RIGHT…again. Iowa State does suck, they are a joke, and their fans are pathetic. Sure, I could sit and grumble that we suck worse, and blah blah blah, but what I will choose to dwell on is the fact that, outside of predicting ISU would lose, I was dead right about everything.
Last week, I floated a little trial balloon of a theory that KOK was keeping Kurt in check all these years, and with Ken gone, Kurt will go mad with power. Keeping in mind here that the way I was coping with the weekend by reminding myself how right I was…how freaking right was I? In order for an offense to suck that bad, there has to be a consistent and intentional effort to not giving a ****. While KOK may have been incompetent, I am pretty sure Gregg Davis is just coaching at Iowa to bridge his income before he gets full Social Security benefits.
I mean, after the 5th dropped pass on a crucial play in a rivalry game, should the receivers be getting their ***** chewed like they’re wearing hamburger undies in a pitbull cage? Shouldn’t the guys who keep failing get the hell out of the way of the people who haven’t? My only guess is that Iowa’s receivers were looking for 10 year contracts from Jamie Pollard, because where else do you get rewarded like that for failing on the football field? I have a feeling Greg Davis was not thinking about the next play on offense, but his next move in bridge club, which he’ll be late for if they don’t hurry up and get this game over with.
While we’re dumping on coaches, doesn’t it look like Brian Ferentz is his dad’s opposite in everyway, including always fielding great lines?
I am not prepared to write this season off as a loss yet, just because we are about to enter conference play in a conference that is the living embodiment of every SEC stereotype for the past 20 years. When scoring 6 points at home against Iowa State is not the most embarrassing conference loss of the week, you’ve got an easy schedule ahead of you.
Tell me if you have read this story before; Iowa will get better as the season drags on, ISU will get worse. At least last year when they beat us they looked impressive. This year, they looked ridiculous, which honestly is hard to do against a team as miserable as Iowa. If Iowa State fans are sitting there asking for respect now, you’re not going to get it. You’re the turd in the bowl that floated to the top. That’s the turd that always, eventually, gets ****** on.
If I were a bear in Southeastern Iowa, I would be very nervous about now, because next year, a certain someone is going to have all of his Sundays free for hunting. Also, does anyone know what Jake Rudock’s mom looks like?
To wrap things up here, my advice to you for surviving this season is to keep drinking, and save your beer cans. You will need to drink, and you will need to drink a lot. Some of you may have to switch from a premium brand like Busch Light to something moar affordable like whatever else it is you people drink in order to afford it. The economy is bananas brah. Anyways, Iowa looks like crap, and they are crap, but they’re still going to win 8 games this year. You will be angry all year anyways. At least until we crush our real hated rivals; Minnesota and Purdue.
**** YOU PETE!
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