next coach??

crabshack

Banned
Associated Press

It has been reported by unconfirmed sources inside the University of Iowa Athletic Department that Phil Jackson is letting it be known that he is extremely interested in the vacant Iowa mens basketball coaching position. Phil Jackson, who has led both the Chicago Bulls and Los Angeles Lakers to multiple NBA crowns, believes that the Iowa mens basketball coaching job is the most desirable coaching position in the world. Jackson has always wanted to live in Iowa City, which is widely known to be the center of the universe. Despite the coaching experience and National basketball hall of fame resume that Jackson would bring as head coach, many close to the U of I mens basketball program have concerns about if in fact Jackson would be the right fit, or good enough to coach such a prestigious program. One Iowa City man we spoke to stated, “we deserve the best coach out there. One that’s better than everyone else’s, and is more gooder than those last two we had. Yea, this Jackson character is good in the pros, but this is Iowa we’re talking about here!” In response to Jackson’s alleged interest in the open coaching position, Iowa Athletic Director Gary Barta issued the following statement, “All coaching applications must be processed using the careers section of the Iowa athletics website in order to be considered. If his (Jackson) qualifications and interests match an available position in the athletic department, my secretary can contact him to set up a interview as I desire.” The University of Iowa plays in the Big Ten conference which is made up of eleven teams soon to be more when the Universities of Texas, Nebraska, Arkansas, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, USC, Oklahoma, Washington, and Notre Dame all come to their senses and ask to join. There is also suspicion of the Detroit lions, an NFL franchise, having interest in joining the big ten, however the logistics and legalities of this move have yet to be determined.
 
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Not even remotely funny. There are no superstars at Iowa and everyone knows that Phil Jackson will only coach a team with superstars so that he can win.

<Phil> What's that Jerry? You want me to coach Jordan, Pippen, and the rest of the Bulls?

<inner voice> Wow. That's some talent. I can easily win a a couple of titles with those guys.

6 titles later

<Phil> Uh oh, Jordan is actually retiring and Scottie wants out of Chicago. There is no way I can win with Kucoc and that head case Rodman. I'd better retire.

Couple years later.

<Phil> Hi Dr. Buss. Yeah, I've recovered from the burnout I felt coaching the Bulls. <snicker> I'd love to come coach the Shaq, Kobe, and the rest of the Lakers.

SWEET! Another team loaded with superstars! Can't wait to get more rings!
 
Not even remotely funny. There are no superstars at Iowa and everyone knows that Phil Jackson will only coach a team with superstars so that he can win.

<Phil> What's that Jerry? You want me to coach Jordan, Pippen, and the rest of the Bulls?

<inner voice> Wow. That's some talent. I can easily win a a couple of titles with those guys.

6 titles later

<Phil> Uh oh, Jordan is actually retiring and Scottie wants out of Chicago. There is no way I can win with Kucoc and that head case Rodman. I'd better retire.

Couple years later.

<Phil> Hi Dr. Buss. Yeah, I've recovered from the burnout I felt coaching the Bulls. <snicker> I'd love to come coach the Shaq, Kobe, and the rest of the Lakers.

SWEET! Another team loaded with superstars! Can't wait to get more rings!

wait, but what if little lick stays in IC?? do you think the lure of that raw undeveloped talent could draw jackson in?
 
I wouldn't say "worst thread ever" but not the best either. just a little satire for those who think bruce pearl is gonna be in Iowa City next year.
What a waste of time you are crabby. Go back to the Ames sheep barn. Its your turn to do chores.
 
What a waste of time you are crabby. Go back to the Ames sheep barn. Its your turn to do chores.

first of all it's llammas, and I just did chores last week so it can't be me again. I'll check the schedule though just to make sure!

do they not have farms in and around Iowa city? are all hawk fans 9-5 businessman in the bustling urban sprawl that is Johnson county?
 
And if the goal is to make it look like it came from the Associated Press, a little proofreading would help.

one, it's obviously not meant to be serious. two, oh no!!! a grammtical error!!! I better start proofreading silly **** when I post it on message boards!!
 

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