Its almost here!

Ive been making crab cakes and trying to improve on my polo skills. Don't even get me started on my horse 'Dart'. Hes got issues with the left pull on his bit to put it lightly. Also i tend to drink a bit and kill the occasional hooker to get an erection. Also go hawks!!!!
 
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
 
I've never met a smart hooker. I've been laying the ground work to get out of going to many Saturday events coming up that are asking for my presence. Yes, one of them is a wedding. I've been cleaning the house, making dinner, and I got my wife a car. Surely, she can't be too mad now when I break it to her that I will not be attending such events.
 
Scorpio79 said:
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
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So did you pull that from memory or use teh Internet?
 
Scorpio79 said:
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
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Love it. I do hope thats copy/paste or u may have an issue or 2...
 
copied & pasted...unlike heaven's excellent brain barf, which was clearly original :D
 
Scorpio79 said:
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Click to expand...
 
I will be sacrificing live animal versions of the other teams mascots. Finding a husky was hard enough. Not sure how I'm going to sacrifice a weather phenomena for next week but something will get worked out.
 
Hawkfromnorwalk said:
I will be sacrificing live animal versions of the other teams mascots. Finding a husky was hard enough. Not sure how I'm going to sacrifice a weather phenomena for next week but something will get worked out.
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Big Mike Vick fan, are you? :mad:
 
Hawkfromnorwalk said:
I will be sacrificing live animal versions of the other teams mascots. Finding a husky was hard enough. Not sure how I'm going to sacrifice a weather phenomena for next week but something will get worked out.
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Weather phenomena? I thought their mascot was a bird. I'm so confused.


As for my preparations, working and working. Tomorrow could be a different story though as I may just work from home.
 
Gonna buy burgers and food at Costco and gameday beer stocking. Busting out the old cornhole (bags) Keystone cans for gameday lol. Then budweiser cans to sip on with some heineken during the week. (heineken is usually skunked :( ) I also have shaved my pubes so that I can be ready for the football season.
 
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