Ideas for ritual sacrifice to appease AIRBHG

DuffMan said:
AIRBHG predates cooler shennanigans.
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True, but the incomprehensibly generous act of returning such a highly-valued artifact would surely please AIRBHG. Oh, yes, AIRBHG would be pleased.

You could be a hero, Duff. Think about it. All of Hawkeyedom forever in your debt. That is an envious position to be in.... You could be a hero....
 
Go to ISUck or Nebby, and pay one of their RBs to wear a jersey for a Hawkeye RB in hopes that AIRBHG spots them and uses his destructive powers on them instead.
 
i am sick of this kind of thing, Duff, so count me out.

All we've done since the revelation of AIRBHG is to placate, plead, appeal, and appease.
And then AIRBHG strikes again.
We try again to cajole and coax the mighty AIRBHG to please leave us alone.

To what end?
The Demon still plagues us. AIRBHG laughs at us and the world rejoices.

I propose we defy and deny the AIRBHG! Death to AIRBHG! Kill it with Fire.
Burn it out root, stem and branch.

Instead of granting it even more power than we already have through ritual and personal sacrifice I refuse to be the victim.

Drink we Hawkeyes! drink and swear, ye fans that fill Kinnick's seats — Death to AIRBHG!
God hunt us all, if we do not hunt AIRBHG to his death!
 
HobbieHawk said:
i am sick of this kind of thing, Duff, so count me out.

All we've done since the revelation of AIRBHG is to placate, plead, appeal, and appease.
And then AIRBHG strikes again.
We try again to cajole and coax the mighty AIRBHG to please leave us alone.

To what end?
The Demon still plagues us. AIRBHG laughs at us and the world rejoices.

I propose we defy and deny the AIRBHG! Death to AIRBHG! Kill it with Fire.
Burn it out root, stem and branch.

Instead of granting it even more power than we already have through ritual and personal sacrifice I refuse to be the victim.

Drink we Hawkeyes! drink and swear, ye fans that fill Kinnick's seats — Death to AIRBHG!
God hunt us all, if we do not hunt AIRBHG to his death!
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images
 
My quick fix would be to remove the RB position from the roster. List all RBs as ATH on the roster and see what happens.
 
Maybe AIRBHG just wants to feel like he is apart of things. Maybe because of his angry deposition it's hard for him to make friends, therefore not invited to a lot of tailgate parties.

In all seriousness, maybe we should have a party and AIRBHG is the guest of honer. Have a actual fund riser donate the money to the miracle league or something (change it each year if this works). This way AIRBHG can give something positive to the hawkeye fandom. In turn he will see the charitable spirt of hawkeye fans and grant us a pass for the year.

or

We burn AIRBHG in effigy.
 
We broke the curse of Tom Davis on our basketball program by bringing him back and honoring him. Therefore, we must do something to honor AIRBHG.
 
SpiderRico said:
We broke the curse of Tom Davis on our basketball program by bringing him back and honoring him. Therefore, we must do something to honor AIRBHG.
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An act of contrition to AIRBHG? I like it, I think that this is the probably the correct answer but what sort of act of contrition would satisfy?

Perhaps Duff needs to go down on mama moo cow across the street from him or maybe he need to burn is boat in sacrifice.
 
I have contacted a few venues to see if they want to host the charity event: "fear AIRBHG give MORE." I hope doing this will make AIRBHG happy. Anyone in the Des Moines area that wants to help out let me know.

I believe that AIRBHG is unhappy with the charitable giving of Hawkeye fans. He/She has decided to take it out on our RB's. To appease AIRBHG I will have an event that exploits Hawkeye Nation willingness to give.

If anyone knows of a venue that wants to help let me know! If this works it can be an annual thing. Make a bad thing good.
 
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