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The Rams are far more talented than the Saints.

The Chiefs third down pass defense was the functional equivalent of a bloody tampon.

Indeed. The missed PI is the one everyone is clucking about, but the zebras missed two egregious facemasks by the Saints, and also a fkn head stomping. A HEAD STOMPING. For crissakes. Plus a blatant delay of game, but I don't give a shit about those process penalties. The facemask on Goff...

OK, here's one: It would have been called a teethbrush, but it was invented in Alabama.

And unlike the Saints offensive linemen, he didn't hold Aaron Donald on Every. Single. Play.

So do PSU’s victims

THIS. He is (was) a huge disrupter on defense. He's a safety who could effortlessly slide into a linebacker scheme. He won't be easily or adequately replaced.

Fant is a mediocre blocker. The mistake that Bri son of Kirk made was playing him at TE instead of playing him as a giant freak WR. Imagine the pants pissing by DC's with Hockenson at TE and Fant split out wide in the red zone.

Part of the reason Epenesa is so goddamn effective is precisely because he isn't out there for every single play. The fact that he kicks ass every time he's in there indicates that the coaches are in fact putting him in the optimal position to succeed. Yes, he could play every down. But why...

The endzone pass to Helverson that was ruled incomplete would have been ruled a touchdown in the instant replay era.

I never spoke a solitary word during a football game. Not once. Not a peep. I let the hitting speak for itself. Talking shit at a children's hospital is about the most weakass thing I've ever heard. Dafuq

If you were in Colorado you'd only have to eat 1/8 of it.

Every Asian is in fact good with math and computers, except for the ones who excel at laundromats and bodegas.

Not I. The humidity and syphilis alone would force me to choose Nebraskansas

There's the old stereotype, which is still mostly true, of slower white guys handing it off or throwing it to faster black guys. Your eyes aren't deceiving you. It's kind of a running joke, but the stereotypes and assumptions undoubtedly affect where athletes are positioned on football teams by...

In Mississippi, you've got 1) black folks stuck in poverty engendered by decade upon decade of forced servitude and then systematic oppressive racism; 2) college kids prepping to GTFO and 3) a bunch of fat white trash. And cowbells.

To be fair, we gifted them two touchdowns as well.

With a fart-sucked-from-ass appetizer

IOWA IS MY FRENEMY