Kurt Makes Us Look Stupid Again

Haha no kidding it's 1 part of 1 practice. Let it go. It's not like they can hear the play calls from there.
 
Our playbook is from Tecmo Bowl (the original with four plays). If people see two of our plays they will quickly decipher which team's playbook we are going with and we will be doomed.
Iowa uses the Colts playbook (Google for reference if needed). But we only use PASS 2 on the passing side. And of the 3 options on PASS 2, we only use the slot receiver out route down the right hand sideline. So since we only use three out of four available plays, and only one option on PASS 2, we may actually need to prevent people from looking over at the field.

I changed my mind. This was a spectacular idea.
 
Isn't that like telling an 8 year old boy in the dead of winder to not lick that metal fence pole.

If I hear that announcement, the first thing I'm gunna do is look.
I did that once at the age of 5 or 6, only it was the metal window frame of our back screen door. I saw A Christmas Story and thought there was no way it was possible. I didn't stick my whole tongue to it, but it was enough that when I ripped it off it took skin off and learned me the lesson.

When you're a kid there's just some shit you have to experience instead of learn from advice. When my son started mowing lawn as a little kid he had no experience with engines. Like any dad should, I told him to watch out for the muffler cause it'll burn the shit outta you. Told him a few times as reminders after that.

Fast forward a couple months and I'm trimming the front yard; he's mowing the back. He comes running up front jumping up and down holding his leg. I said, "You bumped up against the muffler, didn't you..."

"Yeah."

He's never done it again to my knowledge and that was probably the only way he was gonna learn.
 
I did that once at the age of 5 or 6, only it was the metal window frame of our back screen door. I saw A Christmas Story and thought there was no way it was possible. I didn't stick my whole tongue to it, but it was enough that when I ripped it off it took skin off and learned me the lesson.

When you're a kid there's just some shit you have to experience instead of learn from advice. When my son started mowing lawn as a little kid he had no experience with engines. Like any dad should, I told him to watch out for the muffler cause it'll burn the shit outta you. Told him a few times as reminders after that.

Fast forward a couple months and I'm trimming the front yard; he's mowing the back. He comes running up front jumping up and down holding his leg. I said, "You brushed up against the muffler, didn't you..."

"Yeah."

He's never done it again to my knowledge and that was probably the only way he was gonna learn.

I was out to recess in elementary school. Of course, our small town school had this metal wire fence separating the school playground area with the neighbor's yard. It was basically wood fence posts with straight smooth wire running thru all the posts. It was dead of winter and I was prob in 2nd or 3rd grade or something. Don't know if was a bet, buddies egged me on or just did it, but I stuck the top of my mid tongue on the fence wire. It went across the entire width of my tongue.

So, I'm literally stuck on the fence and every little movement just pulls and hurts so I don't move too much. Frozen to that wire. Well, then the bell to go in rings and I see out of the corner of my eye all the kids running to the school. I'm feeling alone like I'm the only one out there. I could only wait so long as I was afraid I was going to be late for class. I counted 3....2.....1.......................and rip! I still can bring that pain up when thinking about it. I had a red line going across the top of my tongue. It bled and I'm sure lunch wasn't that enjoyable that day.
 
I was out to recess in elementary school. Of course, our small town school had this metal wire fence separating the school playground area with the neighbor's yard. It was basically wood fence posts with straight smooth wire running thru all the posts. It was dead of winter and I was prob in 2nd or 3rd grade or something. Don't know if was a bet, buddies egged me on or just did it, but I stuck the top of my mid tongue on the fence wire. It went across the entire width of my tongue.

So, I'm literally stuck on the fence and every little movement just pulls and hurts so I don't move too much. Frozen to that wire. Well, then the bell to go in rings and I see out of the corner of my eye all the kids running to the school. I'm feeling alone like I'm the only one out there. I could only wait so long as I was afraid I was going to be late for class. I counted 3....2.....1.......................and rip! I still can bring that pain up when thinking about it. I had a red line going across the top of my tongue. It bled and I'm sure lunch wasn't that enjoyable that day.
Damn. Tongue wounds hurt like hell and take a while to heal.

100% chance you never did it again though.
 
Iowa uses the Colts playbook (Google for reference if needed). But we only use PASS 2 on the passing side. And of the 3 options on PASS 2, we only use the slot receiver out route down the right hand sideline. So since we only use three out of four available plays, and only one option on PASS 2, we may actually need to prevent people from looking over at the field.

I changed my mind. This was a spectacular idea.
An average QB might have three options, but Petras has one, and he stares down that receive for at least three seconds before throwing the ball. Opposing teams don’t need to see our practice, they just have to coach their defenses like every sixth grade coach in the nation. If they were really smart they’d just coach their DBs to immediately get off their current guy if Petras isn’t staring them down a second after the snap. Then with their eight guys in the box, we might not score a point all season!
 
An average QB might have three options, but Petras has one, and he stares down that receive for at least three seconds before throwing the ball. Opposing teams don’t need to see our practice, they just have to coach their defenses like every sixth grade coach in the nation. If they were really smart they’d just coach their DBs to immediately get off their current guy if Petras isn’t staring them down a second after the snap. Then with their eight guys in the box, we might not score a point all season!
Yep, just play 5 yards off....because the pass is going at least 5 yards beyond that on the deep route.
 
If we could actually somehow get Petras and find wherever Jake Christiansen is...put them both in a laboratory.....take the part of Petras's brain that can throw the overthrow long ball and the part of Jake's brain where it would end up throwing into the dirt.......maybe they cancel each other out and you end up with a QB who can hit a receiver in stride. Maybe the Wizard of Oz could help out here as well.....give them a diploma that gives them instant accuracy, vision, and timing.

Or pray the Manning's teachings paid off with Petras and it does not get coached out of him.

Or, let Phil Parker scheme defense for Fran and Fran scheme offense for Kirk.......just don't let Fran recruit the QBs.
 
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Said it before and I'll say it again. Iowa needs to go to 12 personnel.

-We recruit and develop some of the most successful TEs in the country. Our TEs can BLOCK.

-We RB by comittee.

-The receivers KF and crew recruit and sign are little Welker/Edelman/Beasley types who mix it up from the slot and across the middle.

What more of a perfect (and effective) situation could you have for running a 2 TE set and splitting defenses in half up the middle? Sell out on the run? You're screwed. Play spread out? You're screwed.

I get that Petey still has to hit receivers in the hands, but that's with anything unless you're 1995 nebraska with felons running 450 yards a game.
 

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