All Things Wings Thread

MelroseHawkins

Well-Known Member
I was listening to the ratio on the way into work this morning and the sports guys had a discussion about wings. I thought we could use a general thread on wings. It's getting that time of the season with football starting.

Best places to order? Where are your favorite restaurant/pub wings? Any hidden mom and pop gems?
Traditional or boneless (pussy wings)
Dry or wet? Ranch, Blue Cheese, other or nothing?
Best home smoking, grilling or recipes?
Secrets to cooking?

There seem to be endless topics about wings. Go at it!
 

okeefe4prez

Well-Known Member
There is no such thing as a "boneless wing." Those are just chicken tenders with wing sauce added. I could spend a day writing down every development in the last 30 years that has made mankind worse off and this shit would be right near the top of the list.

Anyway, I quit eating wings at restaurants other than this place by me called Morettis which is owned by some Buffalo transplants. I went there for a beef on weck, which is an absolutely fantastic sammich, and ended up trying the wings. They are fantastic. It's really a shame, wing places used to be really good, but as prices on shit went up they all had to scale it back. I knew everything was fucked when I went to BWWW about 6 or 7 years ago and they said they were selling that shit by weight and not by number of wings anymore.

I typically cook my own at home. My go to is to grill them over coals and finish them in a proprietary blended Asian inspired sauce consisting of soy sauce, honey, fresh garlic and fresh ginger, with a sprinkle of black sesame seeds at the end.

I think the best wings I've ever had were at Fitzpatrick's in Iowa City. Gary (I called him Gar like the character from that documentary about Rocky Dennis, who was Cher's son) just did them the right way. And on Wednesday night they had a deal where if you bought a pitcher of beer you got a dozen wings either for free or they were like a dime a piece. My last semester I was living in Chicago and only had class on Thursday and Friday. I'd belly up to the bar with my chums over at Fitzies every Wednesday night and just absolutely fucking murder about 3 dozen wings and 3 pitchers of cold, crisp, refreshing coors light. I could walk out of there absolutely full and piss drunk for $20 with a decent tip.
 

Fryowa

Administrator
Best wings I’ve ever paid for are at a place called the Yard Bar in Alton, IA. And I’ve eaten wings all over the US.

The place used to be called the Double D for years and years, some relatives of the owners bought it and changed the name.
 

Fryowa

Administrator
Wing Rules and Standards.

1) There is no such thing as a “boneless wing.” These are what pansies, women, and children (henceforth referred to as PWC) refer to as wings because they want to be included in adult conversation and activities, and the correct name for these abominable pieces of trash are “chicken nuggets.”

2) Wings shall not be baked.

3) One shall not order flats only, and one shall also not bitch about not receiving enough flats. Should you find yourself among company who does this, immediately remove yourself from said company because that person is included in the group mentioned above labeled PWC.

4) A flat shall be eaten as follows: grasped opposite the “elbow” joint and slid out between the teeth leaving both bones cleaned off. Under no circumstances shall you split the bones and make more than one bite out of the process. Drums should be preferably eaten in one bite, maximum of two.

5) One shall never—EVER order less than one imperial dozen wings at one sitting. That is twelve (12) wings. If you cannot eat twelve (12) wings in a sitting, you need to demote yourself to PWC and practice until you can meet the minimum.

Yes, this means if there are 8 guys at your table you will need 96 wings. Plan accordingly when dining out. If the establishment you are patronizing balks at that quantity, find another establishment. They wouldn’t have been quality wings anyway.

6) There are five acceptable flavors of wings. Buffalo, bbq, spicy bbq, teriyaki, and garlic parm. Any flavors outside of the five previously listed are unacceptable unless they are at least 1 million on the Scoville scale. Any wings reaching that level of spice are automatically exempted and must be tried by everyone at the table (failure to do so defaults one to the PWC group).

7) One shall never break the Wing Rules and Standards.
 

thedukeofearl

Well-Known Member
Wing Rules and Standards.

1) There is no such thing as a “boneless wing.” These are what pansies, women, and children (henceforth referred to as PWC) refer to as wings because they want to be included in adult conversation and activities, and the correct name for these abominable pieces of trash are “chicken nuggets.”

2) Wings shall not be baked.

3) One shall not order flats only, and one shall also not bitch about not receiving enough flats. Should you find yourself among company who does this, immediately remove yourself from said company because that person is included in the group mentioned above labeled PWC.

4) A flat shall be eaten as follows: grasped opposite the “elbow” joint and slid out between the teeth leaving both bones cleaned off. Under no circumstances shall you split the bones and make more than one bite out of the process. Drums should be preferably eaten in one bite, maximum of two.

5) One shall never—EVER order less than one imperial dozen wings at one sitting. That is twelve (12) wings. If you cannot eat twelve (12) wings in a sitting, you need to demote yourself to PWC and practice until you can meet the minimum.

Yes, this means if there are 8 guys at your table you will need 96 wings. Plan accordingly when dining out. If the establishment you are patronizing balks at that quantity, find another establishment. They wouldn’t have been quality wings anyway.

6) There are five acceptable flavors of wings. Buffalo, bbq, spicy bbq, teriyaki, and garlic parm. Any flavors outside of the five previously listed are unacceptable unless they are at least 1 million on the Scoville scale. Any wings reaching that level of spice are automatically exempted and must be tried by everyone at the table (failure to do so defaults one to the PWC group).

7) One shall never break the Wing Rules and Standards.

DAMN, Fry

:cool:
 

MelroseHawkins

Well-Known Member
Wing Rules and Standards.

1) There is no such thing as a “boneless wing.” These are what pansies, women, and children (henceforth referred to as PWC) refer to as wings because they want to be included in adult conversation and activities, and the correct name for these abominable pieces of trash are “chicken nuggets.”

2) Wings shall not be baked.

3) One shall not order flats only, and one shall also not bitch about not receiving enough flats. Should you find yourself among company who does this, immediately remove yourself from said company because that person is included in the group mentioned above labeled PWC.

4) A flat shall be eaten as follows: grasped opposite the “elbow” joint and slid out between the teeth leaving both bones cleaned off. Under no circumstances shall you split the bones and make more than one bite out of the process. Drums should be preferably eaten in one bite, maximum of two.

5) One shall never—EVER order less than one imperial dozen wings at one sitting. That is twelve (12) wings. If you cannot eat twelve (12) wings in a sitting, you need to demote yourself to PWC and practice until you can meet the minimum.

Yes, this means if there are 8 guys at your table you will need 96 wings. Plan accordingly when dining out. If the establishment you are patronizing balks at that quantity, find another establishment. They wouldn’t have been quality wings anyway.

6) There are five acceptable flavors of wings. Buffalo, bbq, spicy bbq, teriyaki, and garlic parm. Any flavors outside of the five previously listed are unacceptable unless they are at least 1 million on the Scoville scale. Any wings reaching that level of spice are automatically exempted and must be tried by everyone at the table (failure to do so defaults one to the PWC group).

7) One shall never break the Wing Rules and Standards.

Nicely done sir.
 

trj

Well-Known Member
The Vine(Iowa City location) will always be #1 to me.

I prefer Wing Stop to BWW. Even though Seneca Wallace owns the local Wing Stops in my area I have no allegiance when it comes to food and money.:)
 

okeefe4prez

Well-Known Member
Wing Rules and Standards.

1) There is no such thing as a “boneless wing.” These are what pansies, women, and children (henceforth referred to as PWC) refer to as wings because they want to be included in adult conversation and activities, and the correct name for these abominable pieces of trash are “chicken nuggets.”

2) Wings shall not be baked.

3) One shall not order flats only, and one shall also not bitch about not receiving enough flats. Should you find yourself among company who does this, immediately remove yourself from said company because that person is included in the group mentioned above labeled PWC.

4) A flat shall be eaten as follows: grasped opposite the “elbow” joint and slid out between the teeth leaving both bones cleaned off. Under no circumstances shall you split the bones and make more than one bite out of the process. Drums should be preferably eaten in one bite, maximum of two.

5) One shall never—EVER order less than one imperial dozen wings at one sitting. That is twelve (12) wings. If you cannot eat twelve (12) wings in a sitting, you need to demote yourself to PWC and practice until you can meet the minimum.

Yes, this means if there are 8 guys at your table you will need 96 wings. Plan accordingly when dining out. If the establishment you are patronizing balks at that quantity, find another establishment. They wouldn’t have been quality wings anyway.

6) There are five acceptable flavors of wings. Buffalo, bbq, spicy bbq, teriyaki, and garlic parm. Any flavors outside of the five previously listed are unacceptable unless they are at least 1 million on the Scoville scale. Any wings reaching that level of spice are automatically exempted and must be tried by everyone at the table (failure to do so defaults one to the PWC group).

7) One shall never break the Wing Rules and Standards.

Terrible take. On point 5, I do not order a dozen until the reputation of the establishment is well known. Wings are fried and then lathered in a sauce which covers up the quality and temperature of the oil. If the oil is old or the moron running the fryer overloads it and drops the temp too much the wings are inedible. This can happen anywhere. The older I get, the more sensitive I become to problems with fryer oil and I can sniff that shit out in one bite.

On point 6, the only acceptable flavor in a restaurant is buffalo. The combination of heat and sour from a proper buffalo sauce is the perfect complement to the wings. I don't want my wings bathed in high fructose corn syrup, which is going to be ingredient 1 or 2 in any restaurant BBQ sauce or other sauce with sweetness.
 

okeefe4prez

Well-Known Member
The Vine(Iowa City location) will always be #1 to me.

I prefer Wing Stop to BWW. Even though Seneca Wallace owns the local Wing Stops in my area I have no allegiance when it comes to food and money.:)

The Vine does have legit wings.

It is BWWW, not BWW. The third W stood for weck. If you have but a drop of German blood in you and have never had a beef on weck, go fucking find one. The bun has caraway seeds and chunk salt on top of a normal white bread bun.
 

Fryowa

Administrator
On point 5, I do not order a dozen until the reputation of the establishment is well known.
That would be a rookie move that should not need to be listed. Just like you shouldn’t have to be told not to piss on an electric fence.
 

Fryowa

Administrator
If the oil is old or the moron running the fryer overloads it and drops the temp too much the wings are inedible. This can happen anywhere. The older I get, the more sensitive I become to problems with fryer oil and I can sniff that shit out in one bite.
Dyer’s Burgers in Memphis prides itself on using the same oil since 1912. They strain it everyday and top it off once in a blue moon, but that’s it.
 

Fryowa

Administrator
The Vine(Iowa City location) will always be #1 to me.

I prefer Wing Stop to BWW. Even though Seneca Wallace owns the local Wing Stops in my area I have no allegiance when it comes to food and money.:)
I’ve never eaten a wing at BWW. Only set foot in one once. I remember it was the Sioux City one in Lakeport, and it was the 2015 Northwestern game when Canzeri got hurt and the Wadley era started. I think I had a burger or something.
 

SmokeTownHawk

Well-Known Member
The best wings I can remember was at a place in Strawberry Point that's no longer there. Back Home Country Cooking had great naked wings with a good variety of dipping sauces just the way I like wings. Salt and peppered and cooked good and tender. After that place closed I haven't had anything that didn't taste generic as hell.

BWW, beyond the ear-splitting muzak playing was certainly nothing special, at least for the one in Mason City.
 

okeefe4prez

Well-Known Member
Dyer’s Burgers in Memphis prides itself on using the same oil since 1912. They strain it everyday and top it off once in a blue moon, but that’s it.

If you run a fryer with any volume you'd have to top it damned near every day. You lose volume with every single item you cook. And if they're frying anything that is battered they are full of shit or they have a filtration system that rivals the system that draws potable water into a damned nuclear submarine.
 

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